Comment from National Scholar

Excellent

A Rictameter of this sort never read before at FS. Gorgeous. Such a huge thought in such a given meter and structure! Truly the gifted poet conveys the eternal truth. The wise fools or fools wise do the same, they go in for instant passing on their comments on anything and everything as they cannot resist temptation of criticising and by doing so they invite disasters to all. While wise take time to comment. Wise is known by his wisdom which is timeless unlike a fool's verdict. True at each word, superb work with clarity and rhythm of thoughts modestly expressed. DESERVES FOR SIX STARS, alas! If I had!

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2006

Comment from ShadowKatmandu

Excellent

Greed does not know patience
Grasping, grabbing at all it sees
Never knowing true happiness
Or the joys that it frees

I feel your message
Your poetry is clear
Leave the greed behind
We have nothing to fear. :)

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2006

Comment from ishta

Good

And wouldn't it be that we are all fools for some part we play. Wouldn't it be that sometimes we are fools, and sometimes we are wise. To me it would be more like a cycle. Just as the teenager, doesn't really know everything. Smiles. I think the broken english is nearly impossible to understand. I know that they require a certain cyllable count, but this is not coming across clearly enough to my way of thinking. Especially with the line "messing both unlike wise". It's interesting, and powerful. It held my interest, just the same.

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2006

Comment from Zenbud

Excellent

Okay - I understand this! Another accessible piece that clearly states it message. The Yin and Yang of the universe encompasses both, wasteful, greed - conservation and care . . . well done. Zen

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2006

Comment from Jamart

Good

I Like your ricameter but your count is out.
I believe it is 2-4-6-8-10-8-6-4-2.
Your count is 2-5-6-8-10-9-6-5-2.
Unless of you did not intend it be a ricameter poem.
Enjoyed reading. It would be good if the world wasn't greedy.

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2006

Comment from GRSaine

Excellent

Hi Alcreator Writer,

You have put a very good message into your rictameter poem,"Greedy!". It is rather sad, however, that those we hear from the most often and in the loudest voices fall into that category of fools. And are also the ones who get themselves chosen to be our leaders.

GRSaine

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2006

Comment from Jack Hoops

Excellent

A wonderfully beautiful poem. I enjoyed this very much. Another great poem. I will continue reading your magnificent poetry. ------------jesse

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2006

Comment from MStephany

Excellent

Alcreator,

critiquer is critiqued
jewels unearthed and shared
greed is lost

humbly offering thanks
welcome gifts and offer my own
Write on!

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2006

Comment from LittleDoc

Average

The message of the poem is good and most of the structure is correct, but I believe there are errors in syllable count to some of the lines. My understanding is that rictameter is 2-4-6-8-19-8-6-4-2. Line 1 and 2 are OK. Line 3 may have 7 because of an-y. You might want to check on that one. Line 4 is OK with 8; Line 5 seems to be 11 because of cre-at-ed. Line 6 is 9, Line 7,8,9, are OK. If I am wrong about this, let me know and I will change my rating.

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2006

Comment from rivki1111

Excellent

Hi, this is a very nice poem that has been well constructed thoughtfully. The poem is also nicely published with font color etc.

I couldn't see any errors here and thought that you did a great job with it. The subject ...greed...is talked about very poetically with a good flow.

Thanks for sharing your work with me, I would definitely recommend this to others to read and review, cheers rivki

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2006