I Played My Song
a wrapped refrain173 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
Wonderful. Yes, for many of us it takes two. I used to believe we were all half human, and our partners made us whole. Great message you woven in the perfect way.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Wonderful. Yes, for many of us it takes two. I used to believe we were all half human, and our partners made us whole. Great message you woven in the perfect way.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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lancellot, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Capricorn30
So great a difference when one recognizes our presence, as we all desire to be heard;
Playing music parallels conversation, we all wish for everyone to hear us, if only for a short time; music being so unique a language;
A well-penned poem, strong message expressed.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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So great a difference when one recognizes our presence, as we all desire to be heard;
Playing music parallels conversation, we all wish for everyone to hear us, if only for a short time; music being so unique a language;
A well-penned poem, strong message expressed.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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Capricorn, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from boxergirl
Great job, Brooke, with your wrap around poem. I find this style most interesting. The lines and syllables are correct and the wrap around lines flow smoothly. 8-)
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2014
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Great job, Brooke, with your wrap around poem. I find this style most interesting. The lines and syllables are correct and the wrap around lines flow smoothly. 8-)
Comment Written 04-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2014
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boxergirl, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from rama devi
Lovely poem, dear B. Great picture, too. Fine rhymes and such an interesting, musical form--wrapped Refrain--even the form's name sounds musical and poetic!
I personally felt the comma here does not serve the sentence as well as a dash might:
Not one word has rung hollow since you've sung along,(--)
every note filled with meaning as I play my song.
Sounds great read aloud, as usual!
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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Lovely poem, dear B. Great picture, too. Fine rhymes and such an interesting, musical form--wrapped Refrain--even the form's name sounds musical and poetic!
I personally felt the comma here does not serve the sentence as well as a dash might:
Not one word has rung hollow since you've sung along,(--)
every note filled with meaning as I play my song.
Sounds great read aloud, as usual!
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 04-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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rama devi, thank you so much :-) I'll take a look at that line
Brooke
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:-))
Comment from rod007
I think that said it all:
"Not one step have I stumbled in pain's aftermath
since my eyes first beheld you as I sought my path."
Your love was overwhelming and you kept him steady with your love. Well done, Brooke.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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I think that said it all:
"Not one step have I stumbled in pain's aftermath
since my eyes first beheld you as I sought my path."
Your love was overwhelming and you kept him steady with your love. Well done, Brooke.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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rod, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Sasha
It is really a pain to be 'slow of mind'...I had to read the rules for the Wrapped Refrain three times before it finally clicked! I really like this one. What a lovely poem that actually tells a lovely story. Priceless photo of Sawyer doing his Tom Cruse impersonation. Delightful entry for this contest and I wish you all the best.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2014
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It is really a pain to be 'slow of mind'...I had to read the rules for the Wrapped Refrain three times before it finally clicked! I really like this one. What a lovely poem that actually tells a lovely story. Priceless photo of Sawyer doing his Tom Cruse impersonation. Delightful entry for this contest and I wish you all the best.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2014
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Valerie, even I had to reread the rules and map out the poem - very complicated form. I love the photo too, and the kid doesn't even know who Tom Cruise is. LOL Brooke
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He's not missing much. I really did like the poem and like you, found the rules quite complicated. Of course, I find tic-tac-toe complicated too.
Comment from LIJ Red
I won't speculate what a wrapped refrain is. The seven count, or eight then the twelves? No matter. Correct spelling and rhymes and five stars.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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I won't speculate what a wrapped refrain is. The seven count, or eight then the twelves? No matter. Correct spelling and rhymes and five stars.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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Thank you, LIJ Red. If you ever want to read more about what form is used in a contest entry, click on the blue link to the contest announcement :-) Brooke
Comment from GWHARGIS
I felt like this was a coming of age poem. Finding one's path and finding a soulmate in the process are very timely thoughts. Great melodic poem and the imagery was great. Nicely doe. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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I felt like this was a coming of age poem. Finding one's path and finding a soulmate in the process are very timely thoughts. Great melodic poem and the imagery was great. Nicely doe. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
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Gretchen, thank you for your thoughtful review and kind contest wishes :-) Brooke
Comment from DanielEkine
The entirety of this work speaks for itself. It is beautiful. Great job.
"Not one word has rung hollow since you've sung along,
every note filled with meaning as I play my song.
I sought my path, but none appeared,
but when you came, my way was cleared,
impediments all swept away,
no blinding fog, no clouds of gray -- " Strikes me very well.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2014
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The entirety of this work speaks for itself. It is beautiful. Great job.
"Not one word has rung hollow since you've sung along,
every note filled with meaning as I play my song.
I sought my path, but none appeared,
but when you came, my way was cleared,
impediments all swept away,
no blinding fog, no clouds of gray -- " Strikes me very well.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2014
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Daniel, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
I had to read the instructions to see what a wrapped refrain is, and it seems that your line,
I play my song.
is not the same as the first four syllables. I think they're supposed to be identical.
BUt no matter. I don't care for poems with repeating lines anyway... like those annoying triolets.
I do like the poem fo what it says:
no one heard
until you sang it word for word,
as if the very breath you drew
was drawn to sing what I hold true
Sounds just like what happens when soul mates find each other. :)
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2014
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I had to read the instructions to see what a wrapped refrain is, and it seems that your line,
I play my song.
is not the same as the first four syllables. I think they're supposed to be identical.
BUt no matter. I don't care for poems with repeating lines anyway... like those annoying triolets.
I do like the poem fo what it says:
no one heard
until you sang it word for word,
as if the very breath you drew
was drawn to sing what I hold true
Sounds just like what happens when soul mates find each other. :)
Comment Written 04-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2014
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Yes, I changed it from played to play - if that counts as breaking the rule, well, just call me a rebel. LOL Thanks so much, Phyllis :-)
