I Wish I Were a Bumble Bee
rhyming quatrains in 8/7/8/7162 total reviews
Comment from Debra White
Hi Brooke :) My name means bumble bee in hebrew, so I guess I am kind of a bumble bee!
I loved your poem and your concept of the bumble bee's day (which I imagine to be exactly as you wrote it!)
I liked how in the 3rd stanza you say that you'll make do with the sweetness life has to offer if you can't be a bumble bee getting the sweetness from the clover!
Great flow and solid rhymes throughout. I also enjoyed the alliteration of (a)wash in waves and perfumed pools.
Gorgeous detail in the photo (well done Willie!)
Kindest regards as always, Debra :)
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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2014
Hi Brooke :) My name means bumble bee in hebrew, so I guess I am kind of a bumble bee!
I loved your poem and your concept of the bumble bee's day (which I imagine to be exactly as you wrote it!)
I liked how in the 3rd stanza you say that you'll make do with the sweetness life has to offer if you can't be a bumble bee getting the sweetness from the clover!
Great flow and solid rhymes throughout. I also enjoyed the alliteration of (a)wash in waves and perfumed pools.
Gorgeous detail in the photo (well done Willie!)
Kindest regards as always, Debra :)
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Comment Written 30-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2014
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Debra, I had no idea about your name :-) Thanks so very much. Brooke
Comment from Gungalo
But since I'm not a bumble bee,
I'll gather in the sweetness
wherever seeds of joy are sown
in fields of life's completeness.
Awesome Brooke. Your alliterations are wonderful as is the rhyme scheme. I particularly like "where seeds of joy are sown".
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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2014
But since I'm not a bumble bee,
I'll gather in the sweetness
wherever seeds of joy are sown
in fields of life's completeness.
Awesome Brooke. Your alliterations are wonderful as is the rhyme scheme. I particularly like "where seeds of joy are sown".
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Comment Written 30-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2014
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Thanks so much, Gungalo - I hate to admit how long it took me to come up with the third stanza. LOL :-) Brooke
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I know what you mean Brooke. Aggghhh.