Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "storm warning"A book of Poetry & Writing
178 total reviews
Comment from JimLee
A great poem for sea lovers and sailors. I can also see it applying to life in general by changing only two words. Change the word "sea" to "life" and everything you have said about the sea and the sailboat still applies. Change "someone" to "Jesus" and you have described the entire lifespan of man.
Nice writing.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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A great poem for sea lovers and sailors. I can also see it applying to life in general by changing only two words. Change the word "sea" to "life" and everything you have said about the sea and the sailboat still applies. Change "someone" to "Jesus" and you have described the entire lifespan of man.
Nice writing.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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thank you Jim for reading GW
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi deepwater,
Good effort invoking a number of really powerful images for those of us that have seen the sea in all its rages. Nice message too, dual in its meaning, God rescues as does the Coastguard, Royal National Lifeboat Institute and any number of variants on those.
Is the format deliberate, or a result of Evil Eddie's usual effort to 'improve' our efforts?
Patrick
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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Hi deepwater,
Good effort invoking a number of really powerful images for those of us that have seen the sea in all its rages. Nice message too, dual in its meaning, God rescues as does the Coastguard, Royal National Lifeboat Institute and any number of variants on those.
Is the format deliberate, or a result of Evil Eddie's usual effort to 'improve' our efforts?
Patrick
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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thanks for your comments Patrick
Comment from gramalot8
GW, thank you for sharing your talent with us. I really enjoyed your imagery and visual words you used in your poem. Good job. I enjoyed reading this. I also loved the picture you chose.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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GW, thank you for sharing your talent with us. I really enjoyed your imagery and visual words you used in your poem. Good job. I enjoyed reading this. I also loved the picture you chose.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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thank you gramalot
Comment from Ann Smith
This poem has such a haunting mystical feel to it. It seems anything about the sea and life has the flavor of mystery. The sea can be a scary place, and the imagery and details in the poem reflect the fear one can feel. I like how the poem resolves with a place of rest in God's grace. ann
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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This poem has such a haunting mystical feel to it. It seems anything about the sea and life has the flavor of mystery. The sea can be a scary place, and the imagery and details in the poem reflect the fear one can feel. I like how the poem resolves with a place of rest in God's grace. ann
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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thank you for reading ann,
Comment from El.Marjie
Sad poem about a sailor who didn;t make it. The formatting was interesting, and I thought you intended a loose rhyme, but there were two places where I wanted to change words. I'll share my ideas for you to consider.
"I'm all alone with this monstrous "rage" ' Wave' could improve the rhyme pattern and seems an appropriate picture. The last line in the poem"I have come home now, at rest in this place. The Sea, and its Sailors, we sail to the end" How about The sea and its Sailors, we've finished the race? Rhyming would be better and the picture still appropriate to the poem. Great poem. Thanks for sharing it. Best, Marjie
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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Sad poem about a sailor who didn;t make it. The formatting was interesting, and I thought you intended a loose rhyme, but there were two places where I wanted to change words. I'll share my ideas for you to consider.
"I'm all alone with this monstrous "rage" ' Wave' could improve the rhyme pattern and seems an appropriate picture. The last line in the poem"I have come home now, at rest in this place. The Sea, and its Sailors, we sail to the end" How about The sea and its Sailors, we've finished the race? Rhyming would be better and the picture still appropriate to the poem. Great poem. Thanks for sharing it. Best, Marjie
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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thanks for the welcome comments Marjie i did change the end and will look at wave/rage
Comment from JeJo
The fear and apprehension of being alone at sea, with no one to hear you, comes across in this poem. It seems to somewhat portray claustrophobia as well. The line "I'll have to fly white caps of fury" is especially descriptive to me. Excellent use of metaphors. - JeJo
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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The fear and apprehension of being alone at sea, with no one to hear you, comes across in this poem. It seems to somewhat portray claustrophobia as well. The line "I'll have to fly white caps of fury" is especially descriptive to me. Excellent use of metaphors. - JeJo
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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thank you JeJo for reading
Comment from Wendyanne
Hi DW. This is such a wonderful piece of well written poetry. The imagery is superb and I can visualize the scene so easily. Well done
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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Hi DW. This is such a wonderful piece of well written poetry. The imagery is superb and I can visualize the scene so easily. Well done
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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thank you Wendy
Comment from Mike K2
I have a feeling this is the theme of this year's episode of Deadliest Catch, or at least how the production is headed.
Having sailed, this poem provides a lot for both the imagination and consideration of the spirit. I enjoyed reading it and feel it is well done.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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I have a feeling this is the theme of this year's episode of Deadliest Catch, or at least how the production is headed.
Having sailed, this poem provides a lot for both the imagination and consideration of the spirit. I enjoyed reading it and feel it is well done.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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thank you Mike for reading
Comment from patmedium
You've still got one lot of loved ones, lacking a 'd'
as times on her side[time is = time's]
slowly slip's under [no apostrophe]
my love ones [loved]
tears feel my eyes [fill]
carry's me high [carries]
Well, Gary, this needs a little work. Not up to your usual standard! I have enjoyed reading this. I, too, have spent time sailing on the ocean. Pat.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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You've still got one lot of loved ones, lacking a 'd'
as times on her side[time is = time's]
slowly slip's under [no apostrophe]
my love ones [loved]
tears feel my eyes [fill]
carry's me high [carries]
Well, Gary, this needs a little work. Not up to your usual standard! I have enjoyed reading this. I, too, have spent time sailing on the ocean. Pat.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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thats for the comments pat yes sir needs some work Gary
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I'll re-read later when I get back, to reset the rating! xx
Comment from dportwood
deepwater,
This is exactly why I never get in water above my ankles - above my waist and I panic.
You have probably used this as a metaphor for man's life cycle where he hopes to end this life greeting the Savior and Angels. Right?
Duane
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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deepwater,
This is exactly why I never get in water above my ankles - above my waist and I panic.
You have probably used this as a metaphor for man's life cycle where he hopes to end this life greeting the Savior and Angels. Right?
Duane
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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Thanks for the comments Duane and for reading
