Fire Inside
A short poem162 total reviews
Comment from Bachus
Welcome to FS! Honestly, I find the
negative reviews the most fun...
first off, it's only someone's opinion
and judging poems is a pretty ridiculous
concept to begin with...
I enjoyed reading your poem and hope
you have a good time here... you will
feel comfortable and improve here, unless
you are bothered by those who irritate
you. That's simply not worth it.
Bachus
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Welcome to FS! Honestly, I find the
negative reviews the most fun...
first off, it's only someone's opinion
and judging poems is a pretty ridiculous
concept to begin with...
I enjoyed reading your poem and hope
you have a good time here... you will
feel comfortable and improve here, unless
you are bothered by those who irritate
you. That's simply not worth it.
Bachus
Comment Written 10-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Thanks for the positive review and it really doesn't bother me that much. It only hurts that individual's credibility to post vulgarity on my review. I have found this website very rewarding and I enjoy about 90% of the poems and stories that I read on here.
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That's a great attitude! You'll
be fine. Look forward to more
of your posts. :)
Comment from Jeremytcm
Very good work!
The 5-7-5 poems can be a lot harder than they seem.
I just did one for a contest not too long ago, so i know how you feel.
Thanks for posting, and keep up the great work!!
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Very good work!
The 5-7-5 poems can be a lot harder than they seem.
I just did one for a contest not too long ago, so i know how you feel.
Thanks for posting, and keep up the great work!!
Comment Written 10-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Thanks for the positive review and I wish you the best of luck with yours, as well.
Comment from wordsfromsue
Vincent, it's a pleasure to read your 5 7 5 poem. It clearly expresses strong feelings for someone.
I have a suggestion, which you may or not wish to consider.
There are four variations of you/your/you're used in a fairly small amount of words. Possibly change one or two for greater impact.
(Pouring embers from your heart)
(Fire in the dark) [eliminate the 'you're' to make the last line a true 5 syllables, if 'fire' is pronounced as two syllables]
I've now read it a few times and it's a lovely passion filled piece. Nice work. :-)
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Vincent, it's a pleasure to read your 5 7 5 poem. It clearly expresses strong feelings for someone.
I have a suggestion, which you may or not wish to consider.
There are four variations of you/your/you're used in a fairly small amount of words. Possibly change one or two for greater impact.
(Pouring embers from your heart)
(Fire in the dark) [eliminate the 'you're' to make the last line a true 5 syllables, if 'fire' is pronounced as two syllables]
I've now read it a few times and it's a lovely passion filled piece. Nice work. :-)
Comment Written 10-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the very insightful review. I will have to take a look into that. I appreciate you taking the time to read my words and I thank you for your review.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Vincent,
For your fist attempt at writing a 5/7/5 poem you have done a stellar job. You have made expressive word choices, and each like has been crafted with care. I like the theme and wish you good luck in the contest....chey
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Hi Vincent,
For your fist attempt at writing a 5/7/5 poem you have done a stellar job. You have made expressive word choices, and each like has been crafted with care. I like the theme and wish you good luck in the contest....chey
Comment Written 10-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Thank you very much for your positive review!!!
Comment from Tawnyowl
I like the effect this poem produces, it is hot. It has a natural swing to it with the pull of the rhyme, spark and dark. It works very well.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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I like the effect this poem produces, it is hot. It has a natural swing to it with the pull of the rhyme, spark and dark. It works very well.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Thank you very much. I like your review and saying that it is hot.
Comment from Ronni
I myself am not very adept at 5-7-5 forms, but
nonetheless, reading this one certainly ignited
s veryu vivid image of your poem , very
dynamically enhaanced by the great picture tie in.
You captured the immediate emotions and sensations
in your word choices, very readily captivating the reader.
Great job on this, well earned recognition indeed.
By all means keep on writing.
P.S I read your Bio, and I commend you for your
total candor and conscientiousness in conveying
who you are and wny you write, and how you write.
Since I do so likewise, I caould easily and appreciate
such orientation. I am certainly going to look
forward to reading more of your forthcoming writings.
I am glad I looked for what you had written,
and reading the one cited, and so appreciate
you having commented on one of mine just recently.
Best wishes always...Ronni
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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I myself am not very adept at 5-7-5 forms, but
nonetheless, reading this one certainly ignited
s veryu vivid image of your poem , very
dynamically enhaanced by the great picture tie in.
You captured the immediate emotions and sensations
in your word choices, very readily captivating the reader.
Great job on this, well earned recognition indeed.
By all means keep on writing.
P.S I read your Bio, and I commend you for your
total candor and conscientiousness in conveying
who you are and wny you write, and how you write.
Since I do so likewise, I caould easily and appreciate
such orientation. I am certainly going to look
forward to reading more of your forthcoming writings.
I am glad I looked for what you had written,
and reading the one cited, and so appreciate
you having commented on one of mine just recently.
Best wishes always...Ronni
Comment Written 10-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Thank you very much Ronnie. It is truly a blessing to find like-minded people on here, who are here because they are passionate about what they do.
Comment from dmt1967
I like this poem it was very nicely written and the sentences are very well structured I also like the picture very nice thank you
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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I like this poem it was very nicely written and the sentences are very well structured I also like the picture very nice thank you
Comment Written 10-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Thank you and you are welcome. I am glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from phill doran
Hello Vincent.
You have the form right - so that's what five-stars means...well done.
However, this format is very popular (especially on this site) and it really takes some doing to rise above the rest. To find something that is memorably said.
If this was your first attempt, I would encourage you: but be careful of confusing quantity with quality. Once you have the knack you'll find you can churn this format out often: of itself, this may not be such a good thing.
I wish you well with your writing.
Cheers
phill
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Hello Vincent.
You have the form right - so that's what five-stars means...well done.
However, this format is very popular (especially on this site) and it really takes some doing to rise above the rest. To find something that is memorably said.
If this was your first attempt, I would encourage you: but be careful of confusing quantity with quality. Once you have the knack you'll find you can churn this format out often: of itself, this may not be such a good thing.
I wish you well with your writing.
Cheers
phill
Comment Written 10-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the very insightful review. I always welcome any knowledge pass along to me from another writer. I typically don't write using this format, so it was something different. I appreciate you taking the time to read it and share you thoughts.
Comment from uniqueauthor
This is an excellent example of a Senyru, and combined with the beautiful are, ti touches the heart. I enjoyed the read. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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This is an excellent example of a Senyru, and combined with the beautiful are, ti touches the heart. I enjoyed the read. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Thank you very much for the wonderful review. It was a difficult write, but well worth it.
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You're welcome. Peace for today.
Comment from Eleanor Buron
One distinct observation: The poem moves from a spark, to embers pouring, to fire in the night. Great progression that speaks volumns on passion in very few, but carefully selected words. I find 5-7-5 poems difficult to write. You worked hard on this one and the effort shows. Poem is excellent.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
|
One distinct observation: The poem moves from a spark, to embers pouring, to fire in the night. Great progression that speaks volumns on passion in very few, but carefully selected words. I find 5-7-5 poems difficult to write. You worked hard on this one and the effort shows. Poem is excellent.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Thank You very much for such a positive and uplifting review. Your insightful thoughts just made my day!!!
