Fire Inside
A short poem162 total reviews
Comment from WORDSOFTHEHEART
This is beautiful. You write such heartfelt poetry.
My daughter and I will say
"Where are those wonderful, romantic men"? I am going to tell her I know were at least one is. LOL
I love the picture you chose and the colors.
It is all around delightfully lovely.
Hugs to you sweet thangggggggggg.. LOL
Cheryl
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
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This is beautiful. You write such heartfelt poetry.
My daughter and I will say
"Where are those wonderful, romantic men"? I am going to tell her I know were at least one is. LOL
I love the picture you chose and the colors.
It is all around delightfully lovely.
Hugs to you sweet thangggggggggg.. LOL
Cheryl
Comment Written 11-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
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Thank You very much. Thank your daughter as well...lol I write how I what comes to mind and I was in a mood that day. Hugs to you too. Vincent
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I think writing the way you do is from the heart of a poet. I too was not schooled in the finesses of poetry. I just know what speaks to me when I read something. I can see this being published. Keep up the great soulful writing. You have a fan..two if you count my daughter. : ) Hugs,Cheryl
Comment from Terra Dane
Works for me as a 5/7/5--imagery, emotion, consequence. I like the 5/7/5, although not a fan of structured poems because too many try toooooo hard, but you've done just fine.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
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Works for me as a 5/7/5--imagery, emotion, consequence. I like the 5/7/5, although not a fan of structured poems because too many try toooooo hard, but you've done just fine.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
You light a lost spark << the spark in your heart has gone out
You pour embers from your heart << she lights your heart with her own
You're fire in the dark << then she lights up your darkened life again.
and you both go on to enjoy some 'fire in the dark' :)
First try, eh? Very good!
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
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You light a lost spark << the spark in your heart has gone out
You pour embers from your heart << she lights your heart with her own
You're fire in the dark << then she lights up your darkened life again.
and you both go on to enjoy some 'fire in the dark' :)
First try, eh? Very good!
Comment Written 11-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
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Thanks for the great review. I especially liked the twist at the end.
Comment from Patti R.
Damn good one I'd say! You even made it rhyme, which isn't a requirement. 5-7-5 is challenging, more challenging than it first seems, i agree. I love this format though, because you need to cut away all the bullshit and get down to the good stuff, the realities. I loved this.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
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Damn good one I'd say! You even made it rhyme, which isn't a requirement. 5-7-5 is challenging, more challenging than it first seems, i agree. I love this format though, because you need to cut away all the bullshit and get down to the good stuff, the realities. I loved this.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
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Thank you very much for the open and honest review. I appreciate your positive insight.
Comment from Lastamen
Profound and epic in nature and scope. You have managed to weave an entire lifetime of events in this short and challenging form of poetry. Well done.
Till the last amen.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Profound and epic in nature and scope. You have managed to weave an entire lifetime of events in this short and challenging form of poetry. Well done.
Till the last amen.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Thank you very much for an amazing review!!!
Comment from Maustin
A short read that throws a fast spark. Good presentation. The line about "you pour embers from your heart," is very powerful and visual for me. I enjoyed your work. Accomplished the format. Good luck n contest.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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A short read that throws a fast spark. Good presentation. The line about "you pour embers from your heart," is very powerful and visual for me. I enjoyed your work. Accomplished the format. Good luck n contest.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Thanks for a great review!!! I appreciate your kind words.
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So welcome...
Comment from fayesh
Your 5-7-5 poem uses an extended metaphor with the use of 'spark","embers," "fire". I think you could tweak the last line and get rid of the contraction (you're). Try the word "ignite" instead of "fire" in the last line. Also center the poem and don't use capitals.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Your 5-7-5 poem uses an extended metaphor with the use of 'spark","embers," "fire". I think you could tweak the last line and get rid of the contraction (you're). Try the word "ignite" instead of "fire" in the last line. Also center the poem and don't use capitals.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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OK. I thank you very much for that constructive review. I always appreciate any feedback that I can get from other writers. Thanks for taking the time to read my poem.
Comment from Gungalo
Well you did pretty good consideing you used anaphora technique in writing it!! That's repetition in order to mae a point.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Well you did pretty good consideing you used anaphora technique in writing it!! That's repetition in order to mae a point.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Why thank you, thank you, thank you. I don't know if that's a compliment, but I'll take it as such. Thanks for the five-star rating and reading my poem.
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It is definitely a compliment.
Comment from fictionwriter
EWWWWW! I love this poem. There are so many messages in those few words. It's a love poem, a steamy imagination the brings to mind all sorts of things. Well worth a six star. Very nicely done.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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EWWWWW! I love this poem. There are so many messages in those few words. It's a love poem, a steamy imagination the brings to mind all sorts of things. Well worth a six star. Very nicely done.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Thanks you very much for the awesome six-star rating. I really appreciate you taking the time to read my words and enjoyed them. I enjoyed writing them.
Comment from artemis53
Very nice entry. fire is such a wonderful thing to write about. "You pour embers from your heart.' Now that is the pivotal point that locks it all together.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Very nice entry. fire is such a wonderful thing to write about. "You pour embers from your heart.' Now that is the pivotal point that locks it all together.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2012
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Thank you very much for reading and giving such a positive review.
