Gloom Soon Passes
trochaic meter in 7/8/7/8122 total reviews
Comment from SteveY
This is a very positive thought and very good thing to contemplate on as often as we can. In fact nothing last for really very long.
This is a very positive thought and very good thing to contemplate on as often as we can. In fact nothing last for really very long.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2014
Comment from Curly Girly
This is such a fun poem to read and enjoy. I am sure kids would love to hear it, and then go out to play with some blow-bubbles. Catch them if you can. :)
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
This is such a fun poem to read and enjoy. I am sure kids would love to hear it, and then go out to play with some blow-bubbles. Catch them if you can. :)
Comment Written 25-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Curly Girly, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from fastdigits
Another delightful foray into the land
of artistic poetry. Here, I believe there
is a message, if at first you don't succeed ,
try and try again, and watch the rewards
that will come.
And so to strive is to be alive, and never
take no for an answer.
Well done
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
Another delightful foray into the land
of artistic poetry. Here, I believe there
is a message, if at first you don't succeed ,
try and try again, and watch the rewards
that will come.
And so to strive is to be alive, and never
take no for an answer.
Well done
Comment Written 25-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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fastdigits, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi, Brooke,
This poem seems sad to me, but how can that be? Sawyer is having a blast, blowing bubbles that drift across the grass. I like the way you describe these soapy bubbles that break when they touch down,
"Floating rainbows, promise dashed
by assassins' swords so fearsome." ... the bubble is a floating rainbow, and the blade of grass becomes an assassin's sword. There's a deeper meaning here, I think... that even though Sawyer is having fun, sometimes the bubble breaks. Life is like that, I guess. In the midst of glory, gloom can pop out of nowhere. Our job is to keep blowing bubbles. Let them ride the wind.
"Dandelion seeds of silk,
hitch a ride on breezes blowing.
Meadows once as white as milk
then will thrive with gold aglowing." ... your favourite flower, seeds spread with the breeze. You can't keep a dandelion down. They are a hearty weed, and turn our days to gold.
Gloom doesn't seem to fit with our little Bubble Boy. So I'm having a hard time figuring out this poem of bubbles and dandelions.
Bottom line, blow bubbles... have fun. For gloom will catch us all sooner or later. We need more bubbles and less gloom, that's for sure.
your fan,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
Hi, Brooke,
This poem seems sad to me, but how can that be? Sawyer is having a blast, blowing bubbles that drift across the grass. I like the way you describe these soapy bubbles that break when they touch down,
"Floating rainbows, promise dashed
by assassins' swords so fearsome." ... the bubble is a floating rainbow, and the blade of grass becomes an assassin's sword. There's a deeper meaning here, I think... that even though Sawyer is having fun, sometimes the bubble breaks. Life is like that, I guess. In the midst of glory, gloom can pop out of nowhere. Our job is to keep blowing bubbles. Let them ride the wind.
"Dandelion seeds of silk,
hitch a ride on breezes blowing.
Meadows once as white as milk
then will thrive with gold aglowing." ... your favourite flower, seeds spread with the breeze. You can't keep a dandelion down. They are a hearty weed, and turn our days to gold.
Gloom doesn't seem to fit with our little Bubble Boy. So I'm having a hard time figuring out this poem of bubbles and dandelions.
Bottom line, blow bubbles... have fun. For gloom will catch us all sooner or later. We need more bubbles and less gloom, that's for sure.
your fan,
Kimbob
Comment Written 25-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thanks so much, Kimbob - the first two stanzas are sad, but it was my hope that the second two stanzas make it clear that the sadness is transitory and soon ends as new bubbles are created and new flowers grow from the seeds. Did that not come through?
Brooke
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Hi Brooke
I think it's just that I'm not used to seeing Sawyer's picture in a poem containing words like "gloom". I know that Sadness and Happiness are facts of life, and sooner or later we are all faced with them. We must continually crawl out of Sadness and head back to Happiness.
I should have asked you this in my review, what do you mean in this line?
"Meadows once as white as milk" ... I don't think you are talking about snow here.
Kimbob
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I meant the color of the globes of white seeds that sit atop the stems once the petals have all fallen off. It is at this stage in the life of the flower that most people who write reviews of my poems tell me they dislike the look of them.
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Okay, gotcha. I don't know if I've ever seen a field that white with naked dandelion stocks. I took a picture once, with my wife kneeling in a field of buttercups. That was back in 74, and we still have it. Actually, my youngest son, Luke, took a picture of his wife, Leslie, in a similar pose.
Comment from nomi338
There is a certain sadness that accompanies Autumn. The slow demise of Summer's brilliant growth. The blazing heat of Summer becomes a dim memory as we prepare for the cooler days of Autumn. We get out the rakes and the pastic bags as we gather the variecolored dying leaves as they are evicted from the trees that once housed them. I am going to end now because the sadness is threatning to overwhelm me. Even though there is much to cheer in the Autumn season, I will miss Summer too much to even care.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
There is a certain sadness that accompanies Autumn. The slow demise of Summer's brilliant growth. The blazing heat of Summer becomes a dim memory as we prepare for the cooler days of Autumn. We get out the rakes and the pastic bags as we gather the variecolored dying leaves as they are evicted from the trees that once housed them. I am going to end now because the sadness is threatning to overwhelm me. Even though there is much to cheer in the Autumn season, I will miss Summer too much to even care.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thank you, Nomi, for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from kiwijenny
Children, raise your magic wands
as you skip among the grasses.
Make new bubbles break their bonds
till the gloom of loss soon passes.
I love the magic wands ....imagery of darling little ones making bubbles...by the joy on their faces bubbles are true magic
God bless
Children, raise your magic wands
as you skip among the grasses.
Make new bubbles break their bonds
till the gloom of loss soon passes.
I love the magic wands ....imagery of darling little ones making bubbles...by the joy on their faces bubbles are true magic
God bless
Comment Written 25-Sep-2014
Comment from RYME4U
Beautiful! I love your dandelion poems. The word flow here is so smooth and even and you have used very clever rhymes (fearsome and pierce them)This is a real beauty. Great work!
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
Beautiful! I love your dandelion poems. The word flow here is so smooth and even and you have used very clever rhymes (fearsome and pierce them)This is a real beauty. Great work!
Comment Written 25-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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RYME4U, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from RodG
This poem adroitly tells a child how to dispel gloom when what seems important (dandelions and bubbles) vanish. I really like the description of the bubbles being burst by blades of grass and the dandelion seeds "hitching a ride" on breezes. Good luck in the contest, Brooke.
Rod
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
This poem adroitly tells a child how to dispel gloom when what seems important (dandelions and bubbles) vanish. I really like the description of the bubbles being burst by blades of grass and the dandelion seeds "hitching a ride" on breezes. Good luck in the contest, Brooke.
Rod
Comment Written 25-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Rod, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from ravenblack
I really like your almost mystic pairing of the bubbles popping on the blades (promise of floating rainbows) with dandelion seed scattered to bloom again, the formed bubbles akin to the joy of yellow dandelions, the pop to nothing akin to sacrifice ensuring the blooms' return. The joy of bubbles, the bubble wand also a magic wand granting renewal.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
I really like your almost mystic pairing of the bubbles popping on the blades (promise of floating rainbows) with dandelion seed scattered to bloom again, the formed bubbles akin to the joy of yellow dandelions, the pop to nothing akin to sacrifice ensuring the blooms' return. The joy of bubbles, the bubble wand also a magic wand granting renewal.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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ravenblack, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from patcelaw
Nice writing. As a child I would have loved having this poem to read. My favorite book of poetry was 'The Child's Garden Of verses' By Robert Louis Stevenson. I had to spend many hour in bed because of sprained ankles and earaches, and this book was a companion as I recovered. Have you thought about putting together a book of poetry for children?
Nice writing. As a child I would have loved having this poem to read. My favorite book of poetry was 'The Child's Garden Of verses' By Robert Louis Stevenson. I had to spend many hour in bed because of sprained ankles and earaches, and this book was a companion as I recovered. Have you thought about putting together a book of poetry for children?
Comment Written 25-Sep-2014