The Sonnet Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Ashes of Lost Hope"a poetic collage of my sonnets
109 total reviews
Comment from Curt Mongold
Sounds good to me! This work is very, very good. It floes so well and touches on lost romance in a way that only a sonnet can.
A pleasure to read.
Sincerely,
Curt
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
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Sounds good to me! This work is very, very good. It floes so well and touches on lost romance in a way that only a sonnet can.
A pleasure to read.
Sincerely,
Curt
Comment Written 08-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
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Thank you so much, Curt. I appreciate your words of encouragement and praise. I love sonnets in general, but this one was a real challenge! Spenserian sonnets are always harder because of the interlocking rhymes requirement.
Comment from Chris Edwards
Hi Yeltel, I read this and although I have read many great pieces of poetry through out my years (15) I feel as though you are playing a little too much on Shakespeare here? So I thought this could be a little better and maybe show a little bit of individuality??
Best wishes.
Chris.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
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Hi Yeltel, I read this and although I have read many great pieces of poetry through out my years (15) I feel as though you are playing a little too much on Shakespeare here? So I thought this could be a little better and maybe show a little bit of individuality??
Best wishes.
Chris.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
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Thank you very much for your opinion, young man, and your time in reviewing this piece. Please, take care.
Comment from skye
Your poem is exquisite, using language appropriate to the time, the artwork goes so well with the words... it all just works beautifully for me.
Very well done.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
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Your poem is exquisite, using language appropriate to the time, the artwork goes so well with the words... it all just works beautifully for me.
Very well done.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
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Thank you so much for your great review. The artwork was the key. I am so glad I came up with it. My friends own an art gallery in New York City, and Michael Cheval's work was exhibited there many times. He is very talented. Too bad I can't afford any of his pieces (smiles), my yearly salary wouldn't be enough to buy this particular painting. Another smile.
Comment from Poet Gone Mad
I really enjoyed the beautiful language you used and the picture you painted. Your use of imagery was spot on.
"Was I not scorched by heat? Your verse was fire!"
That was my favorite line. I love 'your verse was fire'. That is just great.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
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I really enjoyed the beautiful language you used and the picture you painted. Your use of imagery was spot on.
"Was I not scorched by heat? Your verse was fire!"
That was my favorite line. I love 'your verse was fire'. That is just great.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review and compliment. Your words mean a lot to me.
Comment from LitGuru
yeltel,
Overall: I've been browsing the poetry on this website nonstop for several days now, waiting to stumble across something worthy of complete adoration, and don't see how I've not come across this one. By far, this is the most masterfully crafted work I have read thus far by any author on this site. You have captured the spirit of the sonnet impeccably, and for that I bow to you. The picture is perfect. Excellent choice.
Nitpicks: There is a single awkward wording, created out of necessity by the iambic pentameter, I think: " 'Twas [it] not true passion that you have revealed?" Obviously to conform to the style, this cannot be changed.
SPAG: -
I feel like I was reading a work of a truly great poet. Don't stop writing.
LG
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
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yeltel,
Overall: I've been browsing the poetry on this website nonstop for several days now, waiting to stumble across something worthy of complete adoration, and don't see how I've not come across this one. By far, this is the most masterfully crafted work I have read thus far by any author on this site. You have captured the spirit of the sonnet impeccably, and for that I bow to you. The picture is perfect. Excellent choice.
Nitpicks: There is a single awkward wording, created out of necessity by the iambic pentameter, I think: " 'Twas [it] not true passion that you have revealed?" Obviously to conform to the style, this cannot be changed.
SPAG: -
I feel like I was reading a work of a truly great poet. Don't stop writing.
LG
Comment Written 08-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
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Thank you so much for this fantastic review and the honor of six stars. I am very moved by your words and your faith in my work. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this. Warmest wishes, Yelena
Comment from NightWriter
"Ashes of Lost Hope" is a well written poem that reads smooth with perfect rhyming and rhythm from beginning to end. Well done.
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"Ashes of Lost Hope" is a well written poem that reads smooth with perfect rhyming and rhythm from beginning to end. Well done.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2008
Comment from Josipher32
This was a well written spenserian sonnet. Thanks for the author's notes defining the format.
Excellent picture choice.
You followed the rhyming scheme correctly.
I cannot rate on the iambic pentameter cause that is one of my weaknesses, trying to differentiate the beats.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
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This was a well written spenserian sonnet. Thanks for the author's notes defining the format.
Excellent picture choice.
You followed the rhyming scheme correctly.
I cannot rate on the iambic pentameter cause that is one of my weaknesses, trying to differentiate the beats.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
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Thank you for the great review, Josepher. I appreciate it very much. Please, take care.
Comment from Poetic Friend
Yes, what a perfect executed sonnet, all weaved in the iambic pentameter!
I love the language that you used in this poem. It complements the poetic form.
Good luck in the contest.
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Yes, what a perfect executed sonnet, all weaved in the iambic pentameter!
I love the language that you used in this poem. It complements the poetic form.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2008
Comment from dportwood
Excellent this sonnet and so beautifully structured and worded. Technically perfect in rhythm and rhyme.
Well done and I wish you good luck in the contest.
Duane
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Excellent this sonnet and so beautifully structured and worded. Technically perfect in rhythm and rhyme.
Well done and I wish you good luck in the contest.
Duane
Comment Written 08-Dec-2008
Comment from honeytree
I reall enjoyed these words yeltel.
I particularly liked the art work
and your presentation along with your words.
The following words are very powerful and searching words for the truth.
"Your correspondence plodded through my head,
Suddenly gone, all that I thought was real.
Eyes blinded by your sun, I whirled in red,
Not knowing how to handle this ordeal.
' Twas not true passion that you have revealed?
Was I not scorched by heat? Your verse was fire!
Why was the truth so cleverly concealed?
How aptly do you scribe without desire...
My knight, where did you hide your silver lyre?
The bells of love rang in my mind alone
What legacy had I through fortune's ire?
Love's ashes buried 'neath the graveyard stone.
Oh unrequited love, so wide your breadth!
And sharp the quill that pierced my very depth."
I loved reading your words here. Great writing.
Honeytree.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
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I reall enjoyed these words yeltel.
I particularly liked the art work
and your presentation along with your words.
The following words are very powerful and searching words for the truth.
"Your correspondence plodded through my head,
Suddenly gone, all that I thought was real.
Eyes blinded by your sun, I whirled in red,
Not knowing how to handle this ordeal.
' Twas not true passion that you have revealed?
Was I not scorched by heat? Your verse was fire!
Why was the truth so cleverly concealed?
How aptly do you scribe without desire...
My knight, where did you hide your silver lyre?
The bells of love rang in my mind alone
What legacy had I through fortune's ire?
Love's ashes buried 'neath the graveyard stone.
Oh unrequited love, so wide your breadth!
And sharp the quill that pierced my very depth."
I loved reading your words here. Great writing.
Honeytree.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2008
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Thank you so much for the great review and your warm, encouraging words. They mean a lot to me. Please take care.
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I really loved your words and I always do. Take care. Honeytree.
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I am glad you likedthe review.All the best. Honeytree.
