The rise of the fire devils.
A short fiction contest entry.24 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your contest entry, Mystery Author. You told a good little story in the space allowed. Yes, I believe in love at first sight.
I'm not sure of the sentence that includes 'these ones.' It sound awkward to me. However, it may be ok if this is UK English. If not, I would replace with a more descriptive word or two if your words count holds. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2020
I enjoyed your contest entry, Mystery Author. You told a good little story in the space allowed. Yes, I believe in love at first sight.
I'm not sure of the sentence that includes 'these ones.' It sound awkward to me. However, it may be ok if this is UK English. If not, I would replace with a more descriptive word or two if your words count holds. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 26-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2020
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Thank you Jan, for your kind review. I've made that change you suggested. ~Mel~
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
This is an interesting thing to call them. I know that being twelve years old and starting to have your hormones to start going crazy, perhaps they did think that it was an act of love. Someone rescued them from being severely burned. It does merit gratitude. Thanks for sharing this well thought out and well written work. Well done!
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2020
This is an interesting thing to call them. I know that being twelve years old and starting to have your hormones to start going crazy, perhaps they did think that it was an act of love. Someone rescued them from being severely burned. It does merit gratitude. Thanks for sharing this well thought out and well written work. Well done!
Comment Written 26-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2020
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Thank you Jeffrey, for your kind review. ~Mel~
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
The rise of the fire devils.
Hello my friend
This is the best flash fiction entry in the 100 Word Story writing prompt contest. You have my vote. This story brought memories of puppy love.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2020
The rise of the fire devils.
Hello my friend
This is the best flash fiction entry in the 100 Word Story writing prompt contest. You have my vote. This story brought memories of puppy love.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2020
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Thank you Gypsy Blue Rose, I'm really pleased you like it. I think I have connected with those nearly teens I portrayed.
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
I think as a preteen or teen everyone, at least the girls, have their fair share of these night. The writing our first names with their last names in notebooks just to see how we'd write it or how it'd look. And it could be something as little this as this that sends our mind reeling. Great job with this.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2020
I think as a preteen or teen everyone, at least the girls, have their fair share of these night. The writing our first names with their last names in notebooks just to see how we'd write it or how it'd look. And it could be something as little this as this that sends our mind reeling. Great job with this.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2020
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Thank you EL, for your kind review. I think I have connected with the age group I'm portraying. I understand what you mean.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I'm sure every twelve year old girl would feel that was true love. In her mind, he saved her life, he most certainly saved her from being seriously burnt. I thought this was a charming story and an excellent contest entry. Well done, and good luck! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2020
I'm sure every twelve year old girl would feel that was true love. In her mind, he saved her life, he most certainly saved her from being seriously burnt. I thought this was a charming story and an excellent contest entry. Well done, and good luck! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 26-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2020
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Thank you Sandra, I'm so pleased you like it. Thank you also for the good wishes.
Comment from LisaMay
Well, I guess it was worth a slight burn to win the attention of the new boy. He'll make good boyfriend material - he's quick in an emergency. I liked this story, it had an authentic feeling through the eyes of a 12 yr old girl.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2020
Well, I guess it was worth a slight burn to win the attention of the new boy. He'll make good boyfriend material - he's quick in an emergency. I liked this story, it had an authentic feeling through the eyes of a 12 yr old girl.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2020
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Thank you Lisa, for your kind review.
Comment from Bill Schott
This one-hundred-word story, The Rise of the Fire Devils, finds a young person thrust into danger and rescued by a boy whohas blazed a memory in another's mind.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2020
This one-hundred-word story, The Rise of the Fire Devils, finds a young person thrust into danger and rescued by a boy whohas blazed a memory in another's mind.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2020
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Thank you Bill, for your kind review.
Comment from BethShelby
This is nice flash fiction. It is well written and it a love twist. Something that is all it takes . The Knight in shining armor to the rescue or just the locking of eyes.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2020
This is nice flash fiction. It is well written and it a love twist. Something that is all it takes . The Knight in shining armor to the rescue or just the locking of eyes.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2020
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Thank you Beth, for your kind review.
Comment from Valerie Fish
What a sweet story, you did well to get into the mind of a twelve year old, and got the five words in without being contrived. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2020
What a sweet story, you did well to get into the mind of a twelve year old, and got the five words in without being contrived. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2020
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Thank you Valerie, for your kind review.
Comment from faith bosire
Wow my dear,
Such exemplary type of work
I appreciate this piece so much
It was so great and candid. Loved it completely . It would be a great entry for the contest
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2020
Wow my dear,
Such exemplary type of work
I appreciate this piece so much
It was so great and candid. Loved it completely . It would be a great entry for the contest
Comment Written 25-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2020
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Thank you Faith, for your kind review.