Day Off (Part-2)
A day and night at the beach48 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
I knew something was up my prejudice made my choice the man. I was pleasantly surprised to see it was a femme fatale. I hope that he finds her. Karen :-)
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
I knew something was up my prejudice made my choice the man. I was pleasantly surprised to see it was a femme fatale. I hope that he finds her. Karen :-)
Comment Written 06-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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Thanks, Karen, it's always a pleasure to get your reviews and see that beaming little red head's smile pop up on my screen. Most of my stories have some elements of truth in them, as you might have figured out already. Then, I just try to mix and mash so that it's unrecognizable, even to me. It's always a pleasure my dear. I appreciate you always!
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That would make another interesting story. He gets caught up in her latest scheme, and in trying to reform her, she re-forms him!
Comment from AJ McCall
Wow... this is another surpriser. You're good - like really good. But does the woman always have to be some sort of criminal? How come it can't just end nice once, just once. But he was old so never mind... I enjoyed this story.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2020
Wow... this is another surpriser. You're good - like really good. But does the woman always have to be some sort of criminal? How come it can't just end nice once, just once. But he was old so never mind... I enjoyed this story.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2020
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I have a bunch of stories that have more than one part, which isn't probably a good idea. Because they can't have the intended effect unless read in succession. Most of all, I'm glad you liked part - 2 of this story, but I think you might have liked it even better had you read part - 1 first. You know, you have brought something to my attention that I have never realized until now. I honestly do make the girls out to be bad a lot. LOL. You will find that I made the guys bad too, I just need to do it more. Thank you so much for another of your awesome reviews. I so look forward to hearing what you have to say. Sorry, didn't mean to write you a novella. I appreciate you!
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It's alright!
Comment from Gloria ....
I think this is a hugely interesting story, Ric. It seems rushed and a lot happens in short order, but I guess you were trying to fit into the FanStory requirements. I love the idea. Bob certainly does have a thing for wild, younger women but you captured the need of the man who's worked his ass for a lifetime's desire to reap the rewards from such sacrifice.
I read both parts, and am just reviewing this one for now. This is novel material for sure. A romance based on an a very cool premise. Finding the woman of his dreams while she alludes him because of her fear of the authorities nabbing her.
Excellent work, dear friend.
Gloria
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2015
I think this is a hugely interesting story, Ric. It seems rushed and a lot happens in short order, but I guess you were trying to fit into the FanStory requirements. I love the idea. Bob certainly does have a thing for wild, younger women but you captured the need of the man who's worked his ass for a lifetime's desire to reap the rewards from such sacrifice.
I read both parts, and am just reviewing this one for now. This is novel material for sure. A romance based on an a very cool premise. Finding the woman of his dreams while she alludes him because of her fear of the authorities nabbing her.
Excellent work, dear friend.
Gloria
Comment Written 05-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2015
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Trying to write is just plain fun. Creating characters is more enjoyable to me than themes and plots. I know they say that isn't how it should be, but I disagree. Great characters can sell any plot, sub-plots, and themes. In my humble opinion that this. Bob is really quite pitiful, grabbing at straws. Criminals never change! Therefore, he has set himself up for nothing but trouble. In real life, she would take him for everything he has and leave him to smolder in the ashes. However, the old romantic in me would take it in a different direction, and hope for the best. I can't thank you enough for going back to read this piece and review it. I wish I could write chapters as long as they should be, but that's how it goes on Fan Story. Thanks again, my dear friend.
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Still, it would make for a rip-roaring story as Bob learned he's a schmuck whilst gallivanting around looking for the girl of his dreams. It seems that she might have a hankering for him too. ;-)
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I'm so glad that you caught that she is truly attracted and likes him too. That makes it all the more enticing to readers who want the happily-ever-after reward. I'm sure you have probably noticed, but I leave most all my pieces open ended so that I can build on them later. :-)
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Yes, I have noticed that. Smart thinking you. I can see this as a novel and a fun one too!
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It all needs to be fun. Otherwise, why do it. Hope to catch you later, but right now I have to get out in the nasty mess of winter. :-)
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Be safe. It sounds awful. It's sunny and warm here, and no snow, not that I'm trying to make you feel bad. :)
Comment from Genya
Just found this and had to read it. What a great story it was. Now I need to read the first part. Like a kid with a new toy. You certainly know how to put a great story together with characters that seem like people living on your own street. I loved this. A great ending or is it. Maybe another part will follow. Genya
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2015
Just found this and had to read it. What a great story it was. Now I need to read the first part. Like a kid with a new toy. You certainly know how to put a great story together with characters that seem like people living on your own street. I loved this. A great ending or is it. Maybe another part will follow. Genya
Comment Written 02-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2015
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Thanks so much, Genya, for taking time to read and review part-2 two of my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. Just remember, they work better when you read them in order. LOL. Seriously, I can't thank you enough for reading a post that offers nothing in Fan Bucks. From my list of posts, I would take you for the type person who might like "Bert and Alley." not necessarily my best work, but definitely for the kindhearted. :-)
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Hi Ric, I read what interest me, don't really think about the bucks.....I will have a look at Bert and Alley. Thanks for that. Genya
Comment from Writingfundimension
I really enjoyed reading this second part of your story. It was easy to pick up the thread of the story as well as getting a good feel for your characters. I like the twist near the end, and feel Bob is a special guy to seek out the woman calling herself Libby. Great job!
:) Bev
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2014
I really enjoyed reading this second part of your story. It was easy to pick up the thread of the story as well as getting a good feel for your characters. I like the twist near the end, and feel Bob is a special guy to seek out the woman calling herself Libby. Great job!
:) Bev
Comment Written 22-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2014
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Thanks, Bev, for taking time to read part two of my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated.
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My pleasure, Ric. I like your writing style!
:) Bev
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
Hi there, I so enjoyed part 1 and 2 of this charming story. As Libby or whoever she is said, you can't change the past. However, it seems that Bob plans to do his best to change the future.
Well done, :-) Carolyn
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
Hi there, I so enjoyed part 1 and 2 of this charming story. As Libby or whoever she is said, you can't change the past. However, it seems that Bob plans to do his best to change the future.
Well done, :-) Carolyn
Comment Written 18-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Thanks, Carolyn, for taking the time to read my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. It's next to impossible to rehabilitate a persistent felon or change the ways of a workaholic, but these two total opposites at least have a chance. Thanks again, Ric. :-)
Comment from Winslow
Dear Ric,
Great story with a real turn around. One small nit I do have problems with the ending-I would have liked Bob to recognize his great fortune and forget about the gal. If she was a seasoned criminal and fugitive than he would be far better off without her in his life. If he could win her over than he could do it with a more suitable woman since he is a charming fellow and wealthy to boot. Maybe take a trip to Florida and troll among the widows. (LOL)
Warm regards,
Winslow
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
Dear Ric,
Great story with a real turn around. One small nit I do have problems with the ending-I would have liked Bob to recognize his great fortune and forget about the gal. If she was a seasoned criminal and fugitive than he would be far better off without her in his life. If he could win her over than he could do it with a more suitable woman since he is a charming fellow and wealthy to boot. Maybe take a trip to Florida and troll among the widows. (LOL)
Warm regards,
Winslow
Comment Written 24-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thanks so much, Winslow, for taking time to read part-2 of my story. Your kind words, suggestions, and most generous review and six stars are greatly appreciated. I also agree with you that seasoned criminals don't change, and Bob would have been better off to avoid the girl. The fun part is, this is fiction, and it allows us the chance to "Live happily ever after," which we know would never happen. Wishing you the Best, Ric.
Comment from OLA THOMAS
Fine work, very thrilling with some elements of surprise or call it suspense. Well, ditching dialogue may not be to fine as this add some beauty to a story.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
Fine work, very thrilling with some elements of surprise or call it suspense. Well, ditching dialogue may not be to fine as this add some beauty to a story.
ola thomas
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much for taking time to read part two of my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from amahra
Ok I guess I'm not that romantic. So she didn't rob him but she robbed others in the past and will do it again. But the ending was surprising and the story well written. I liked the surprise at the end.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
Ok I guess I'm not that romantic. So she didn't rob him but she robbed others in the past and will do it again. But the ending was surprising and the story well written. I liked the surprise at the end.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much for taking time to read part two of my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. Part one was a blend of action, conflict, and dialog, which is what most are looking for in a story. Part two is mostly narrative as I was trying to cover a lot of ground in fewer pages to see if anyone would be interested in the story expanding. I was actually surprised at how many did. I'm glad you like the ending. :-)
Comment from Loren (7)
Great story. Never saw the ending coming. Did not feel contrived. May December romance in bud, I hope it works out for them both. Missed Part I, if anything like this, it's a winner for certain. Loren
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
Great story. Never saw the ending coming. Did not feel contrived. May December romance in bud, I hope it works out for them both. Missed Part I, if anything like this, it's a winner for certain. Loren
Comment Written 29-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much, Loren, for taking time to read part two of my story. Part two is nothing like part one. Part one was full of action, conflict, and dialog. I used part two to cover more ground with less pages, so that I could find out if there was any interest in the story being expanded. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)