No Excuse; I'm Just Me
64-year-old-teenager survives angst15 total reviews
Comment from Petriesan
if we are honest, none of us really ever want to grow up, and when re realize we have want tinkerbell to come back and take us to the land of pirates again
eternity was unquestionably too big a price to pay
that line resonates to me. . .it is too much a price to pay for many things
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2014
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if we are honest, none of us really ever want to grow up, and when re realize we have want tinkerbell to come back and take us to the land of pirates again
eternity was unquestionably too big a price to pay
that line resonates to me. . .it is too much a price to pay for many things
Comment Written 16-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2014
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Thanks so much for the bouquet of stars.
As much as I enjoy fiction, and the escape possibilities, these non-fiction contests actually give us the opposite of fantasy and make us pause while we reflect truths laid out by other writers.
Comment from Cumbrianlass
I've seen examples of this mentality since living here. I knew a Greek girl (born here) whose parents wanted her to marry a Greek guy. Well, she met one, but he was still married (separated). Shite, you'd think she was dating the creature from the black lagoon! Her mother kept dissolving into tears.
I wondered why they would come to Canada and expect their children to behave as though they still lived in Greece.
Anyhoo, I'm waffling.
Good post, my friend. You're always good at self examination, and have a clever way of expressing your feelings and opinions.
Love Av
I was a Canadian, regardless of whose womb served as the portal of my birth. - Feckin' brilliant line. I dug out the Canadian flag and waved it around.
xx
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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I've seen examples of this mentality since living here. I knew a Greek girl (born here) whose parents wanted her to marry a Greek guy. Well, she met one, but he was still married (separated). Shite, you'd think she was dating the creature from the black lagoon! Her mother kept dissolving into tears.
I wondered why they would come to Canada and expect their children to behave as though they still lived in Greece.
Anyhoo, I'm waffling.
Good post, my friend. You're always good at self examination, and have a clever way of expressing your feelings and opinions.
Love Av
I was a Canadian, regardless of whose womb served as the portal of my birth. - Feckin' brilliant line. I dug out the Canadian flag and waved it around.
xx
Comment Written 15-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2014
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Visions of an honour guard surrounding the portal have cranked me into a ridiculous frame of mind now...
Thanks.
Comment from DALLAS01
I always pay attention to your struggles with your mother because I had so many of my own. I understand the loss of identity due to the attempt to mold your thinking and behavior.
I have come to the conclusion that our relationship was a lose/lose for both of us. I think she may have struggled herself with its failure to blossom. Although, I will say that in later years, I think she felt guilty for marrying me off to someone she really did not like. She supported me in getting out of that mess.
I think my ability to step back and evaluate that relationship, today, is based on the fact that I can concede that she was doing the best she could, and I no longer feel guilty for those feelings of animosity toward her. They were rooted in her inability to mother, that wasn't my fault, it was just the way it was.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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I always pay attention to your struggles with your mother because I had so many of my own. I understand the loss of identity due to the attempt to mold your thinking and behavior.
I have come to the conclusion that our relationship was a lose/lose for both of us. I think she may have struggled herself with its failure to blossom. Although, I will say that in later years, I think she felt guilty for marrying me off to someone she really did not like. She supported me in getting out of that mess.
I think my ability to step back and evaluate that relationship, today, is based on the fact that I can concede that she was doing the best she could, and I no longer feel guilty for those feelings of animosity toward her. They were rooted in her inability to mother, that wasn't my fault, it was just the way it was.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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I think writing about my issues has also brought me to a level of understanding. In my case, the culture shock contributed to her harsh attitudes and by today's standards serious child abuse.
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Writing about it does help to purge some of the residue. But it took me years before I could do that.
Comment from Sasha
I prologize for taking so long to get to this. I took a mental health day and now am behind in my reviewing. First things first...Happy Birthday. I always love your honesty. You lay everything out for all to see, warts and all. This is a terrific entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best. I found it superbly written and absolutely fascinating.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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I prologize for taking so long to get to this. I took a mental health day and now am behind in my reviewing. First things first...Happy Birthday. I always love your honesty. You lay everything out for all to see, warts and all. This is a terrific entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best. I found it superbly written and absolutely fascinating.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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Aw shucks, you gave me the stars for my birthday, and to think they came all the way from Mexico, thanks. Thanks for the good wishes.
Comment from N.K. Wagner
We carry our parents' attitudes with us, Ingrid, even when we reject them. We simply can't be free of our first lessons about ourselves. You're still rebelling. And I'm learning to succeed despite knowing I'll fail. Great self-examination.
Today's grammar lesson:
People=who
Things=that
Animals=depends on the writer's POV
:D Nancy
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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We carry our parents' attitudes with us, Ingrid, even when we reject them. We simply can't be free of our first lessons about ourselves. You're still rebelling. And I'm learning to succeed despite knowing I'll fail. Great self-examination.
Today's grammar lesson:
People=who
Things=that
Animals=depends on the writer's POV
:D Nancy
Comment Written 14-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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Went through the whole thing, and though I changed a few things--I always do, I had a hard time finding errors in reference to my grammar lesson.
Looks like my story didn't fly with the big pay-out fir the newspaper contest. That sucks, it really was, in my mind, thee best I've ever written. Alas, woe is me.
Comment from Ritsal
This is a very compelling story outlining your background and family history. I have made a few suggested edits to help tighten the story and rid it of a few instances of "that." I maybe shooting myself in the foot because I also have an entry in this contest. :O So, let's get this right and give us all a run for our money. :)
I had no way of knowing how hard my parents struggled to adjust to a new country and culture, there is no doubt in my mind that rebellion was seeded entirely due to my parents trying very hard to maintain some continuity of the life that they left behind.>>this is a very long sentence. I would break it up as:
I had no way of knowing how hard my parents struggled to adjust to a new country and culture(.) t(T)here is no doubt in my mind [that] rebellion was seeded entirely due to my parents trying very hard to maintain some continuity of the life [that] they left behind.
Many immigrants [that escaped] (escaping) from communist countries
They only knew [that] they didn't want to continue to live under oppression and fled
relating to a country [that] no longer (existing)[existed]
My mother's moments of approval [of me] occurred when I was dressed in a national costume.>>don't need both me and I in same sentence
I gave up trying(,) at some point, recognizing [that] I could never please my mother's need to parent based on her own childhood recollections.
seven-layer tortes in my house with preserves and whipped cream fillings - that sounds yummy to me
Her only defence >defense
I hope this is helpful.
Best wishes,
Rita
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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This is a very compelling story outlining your background and family history. I have made a few suggested edits to help tighten the story and rid it of a few instances of "that." I maybe shooting myself in the foot because I also have an entry in this contest. :O So, let's get this right and give us all a run for our money. :)
I had no way of knowing how hard my parents struggled to adjust to a new country and culture, there is no doubt in my mind that rebellion was seeded entirely due to my parents trying very hard to maintain some continuity of the life that they left behind.>>this is a very long sentence. I would break it up as:
I had no way of knowing how hard my parents struggled to adjust to a new country and culture(.) t(T)here is no doubt in my mind [that] rebellion was seeded entirely due to my parents trying very hard to maintain some continuity of the life [that] they left behind.
Many immigrants [that escaped] (escaping) from communist countries
They only knew [that] they didn't want to continue to live under oppression and fled
relating to a country [that] no longer (existing)[existed]
My mother's moments of approval [of me] occurred when I was dressed in a national costume.>>don't need both me and I in same sentence
I gave up trying(,) at some point, recognizing [that] I could never please my mother's need to parent based on her own childhood recollections.
seven-layer tortes in my house with preserves and whipped cream fillings - that sounds yummy to me
Her only defence >defense
I hope this is helpful.
Best wishes,
Rita
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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You have a better chance at winning a committee contest than I'll ever have--they don't like me much.
Thanks for all the suggestions. Will go through the tale again.
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Dang, why do you say that? I think they get the entries blind.
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So they say, but even then, who doesn't recognize certain writer's style.
Aren't you the least bit curious who the judges are? Once a rather prominent author here stated that they'd--meaning FS-- never get anyone to judge--meaning members--and the rest of the sentence slips my mind, but the innuendo was that members were solicited to judge. Maybe it's true, maybe not--but I still think the judges are the overnight part-time Toms that man the site. Oh, I'm so cynical...
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Overnight part-time Toms...lol I'd like to know who they are. Or, maybe not.
Comment from boxergirl
Good job with your biographical commentary about never really growing up. I can totally connect with that idea as I, too, wonder when or if my inner self will ever catch up. I really hope it doesn't. 8-)
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Good job with your biographical commentary about never really growing up. I can totally connect with that idea as I, too, wonder when or if my inner self will ever catch up. I really hope it doesn't. 8-)
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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I think I want to grow up, but I want to grow up without the friction and cause, settling into a cradle of acceptance.
Comment from Dom G Robles
Finally learning your background, I was possessed with great admiration with your strength to go on with your will and determination. As an Asian, I realized how deep and strong the determination of parents to impose their will, to customs and traditions they are used to, which are away from the they way we have been into. In my home country, the Philippines, my parents, who belong to the old school, had a very strong say and influence to the choice of a husband or wife, feeding us, their children with all the kinds
of knowledge they had with the chosen partners. In the United States, however, I find the ideas strange. In our old world, the child even after the age of maturity, they try to coup (let their children for keeps), while in America, (by tradition) you have to leave when you are 18. You will be on your own. The the Philippine parents even seem to have the duty all through out your days to look at your activities with their old lamenting excuse that they are after your welfare. Not here in America. You have to be on your own. You have to paddle your own canoe (generally). I mentioned this Ingrid in lengthy illustration because you touched the culture of Latvians. Now, my niece and nephews born in America looks things on another angle--the American culture, so to speak. They are "Americanized." When I questioned one of my nieces why that is so, she reasoned out: "When you are in America, you act like an American...
Just like they say: "When you are in Rome, do as the Romans do." I don't know, but I am on the old school. My sentiments
are blended with this country and my own country--not entirely amenable to the culture of this country. But, I am glad to know your background. Like in games, It is a different ball-game.
I am carried carried away, I guess, but I am very glad you shared quite well your background, which I am pretty sure many would want to know. Cheers to you, my friend. Dom.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Finally learning your background, I was possessed with great admiration with your strength to go on with your will and determination. As an Asian, I realized how deep and strong the determination of parents to impose their will, to customs and traditions they are used to, which are away from the they way we have been into. In my home country, the Philippines, my parents, who belong to the old school, had a very strong say and influence to the choice of a husband or wife, feeding us, their children with all the kinds
of knowledge they had with the chosen partners. In the United States, however, I find the ideas strange. In our old world, the child even after the age of maturity, they try to coup (let their children for keeps), while in America, (by tradition) you have to leave when you are 18. You will be on your own. The the Philippine parents even seem to have the duty all through out your days to look at your activities with their old lamenting excuse that they are after your welfare. Not here in America. You have to be on your own. You have to paddle your own canoe (generally). I mentioned this Ingrid in lengthy illustration because you touched the culture of Latvians. Now, my niece and nephews born in America looks things on another angle--the American culture, so to speak. They are "Americanized." When I questioned one of my nieces why that is so, she reasoned out: "When you are in America, you act like an American...
Just like they say: "When you are in Rome, do as the Romans do." I don't know, but I am on the old school. My sentiments
are blended with this country and my own country--not entirely amenable to the culture of this country. But, I am glad to know your background. Like in games, It is a different ball-game.
I am carried carried away, I guess, but I am very glad you shared quite well your background, which I am pretty sure many would want to know. Cheers to you, my friend. Dom.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Thank you for your glorious dazzle of stars. Getting real, naked and honest when writing is the first element of story writing--not often published.
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You are very welcome. Dom
Comment from Nomar Chagrin
Great assessment of national loyalties, Ingrid. I like how you formed your own opinions independent of what others wanted you to do. Like you said, "A head-strong daughter."
I have some similar experiences. Both of my parents were born in Norway, and were disappointed when I refused to study Norwegian. They were also versed in the old ways which I rejected. I must admit, I do regret not embracing some of the Norwegian culture and language more than I did, but your idea of individuality trumps patriotism (if not nationalism) every time.
Candian (Canadian)
Thanks for yet another good essay, Ingrid. I enjoy your candor and courage. You don't pull punches and that's refreshing.
~ Erik
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Great assessment of national loyalties, Ingrid. I like how you formed your own opinions independent of what others wanted you to do. Like you said, "A head-strong daughter."
I have some similar experiences. Both of my parents were born in Norway, and were disappointed when I refused to study Norwegian. They were also versed in the old ways which I rejected. I must admit, I do regret not embracing some of the Norwegian culture and language more than I did, but your idea of individuality trumps patriotism (if not nationalism) every time.
Candian (Canadian)
Thanks for yet another good essay, Ingrid. I enjoy your candor and courage. You don't pull punches and that's refreshing.
~ Erik
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Tell me the truth...do you think at this ripe old age--it's my birthday--do you think I could ever cut it as a journalist? I'd gladly give up fiction.
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Happy belated birthday, Ingrid. Well, it'd be tough for me to give you advice but I think you could make it in journalism. It's a fiercely competitive field but so is any kind of writing, and I think is easier to be successful in journalism than fiction writing. I'm in the same boat. I write fiction or non-fiction or humor or regular essays and don't concentrate on any specific one of them. But I will say that if you pursue journalism full-time, I wouldn't give up other genres entirely. Things overlap and exercising with one kind of writing can help develop other kinds. So if you go over to journalism, I'd keep writing some fiction when the spirit moves you or, in your case, the Spiritual Echo. Hugs, Erik
Comment from jmdg1954
Spiritual Echo... It's difficult to lay it all down on the table like you just did. Pulling no punches, you detailed the values your parents expected you to conform to without realizing where you were born and the environment you were growing up in, Canada.
Excellent non-fiction entry for the contest, honest and pure. John
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Spiritual Echo... It's difficult to lay it all down on the table like you just did. Pulling no punches, you detailed the values your parents expected you to conform to without realizing where you were born and the environment you were growing up in, Canada.
Excellent non-fiction entry for the contest, honest and pure. John
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Wish me a happy birthday, I feel like I'm rotting away in public.