Utah's Scenic
Family Story contest entry12 total reviews
Comment from l.raven
OMG Joan, yes it certainly stands on it's own my
sweet friend...
an awesome story told...held my attention...totally...
and the last stanza takes your breath away...
I'm so sorry I don't have a six for you...******...
very well written sweet girl...love you...Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2021
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OMG Joan, yes it certainly stands on it's own my
sweet friend...
an awesome story told...held my attention...totally...
and the last stanza takes your breath away...
I'm so sorry I don't have a six for you...******...
very well written sweet girl...love you...Linda xxoo
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2021
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Thank you for the fantastic review and big six offer, Linda. I'm glad you liked my little dark tale of woe. LoL. Have a great day.
Ron
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your so welcome Joan...and you Have a great day as well...love xxoo
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My name is Ron. You have a great day as well.
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I'm so sorry Ron...I would like to say that is the first time I've done that...but it's not...
sorryyyyy...love xxoo
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Lol. It's only happened a time or two. Haha. have a great day, Linda.
=]
Ron
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you have a great day too...smiling back at you...xxoo love
Comment from write hand blue
An entertaining story if a little gory, but that's life as they say. The setting is unusual. The subject has bad luck with his car and it gets worse from there on. Well thought out and that twist at the end earns another star. A great story, well told. ~mel~
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2021
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An entertaining story if a little gory, but that's life as they say. The setting is unusual. The subject has bad luck with his car and it gets worse from there on. Well thought out and that twist at the end earns another star. A great story, well told. ~mel~
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2021
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Thank you for the fantastic review and giant sizer, Mel. I'm glad you liked my little dark tale. I guess it's from watching too many movies that don't have happy endings. LoL. I really appreciate the generous rating, friend. Thanks again.
Ron
Comment from Begin Again
Powerful... From one dilemma to the next. Now is the sheriff a good guy or a bad guy? A very quick, hard-slamming story in so few words and exceptional to read. Great job!
Hugs, Carol
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2021
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Powerful... From one dilemma to the next. Now is the sheriff a good guy or a bad guy? A very quick, hard-slamming story in so few words and exceptional to read. Great job!
Hugs, Carol
Comment Written 21-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2021
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Hey, Carol, hello. Thank you so much for the excellent review and the big sixer. Yeah, they just got deeper into trouble. He's as bad as his psycho brother. Lol. I'm glad you liked my little tale of woe. I really appreciate you stopping by and thank you again for the great rating. Have yourself a fantastic upcoming weekend.
=]
Ron
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A great tale and I was entertained, and from one disaster to another as you left us high and dry here with another problem about to blow up into chaos. A fine descriptive write and my imagination ran riot as this poor family suffered at the hands of a madman, I wish I had a six left, a magical story, inventive and well presented, a WINNER for the contest for sure, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2021
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A great tale and I was entertained, and from one disaster to another as you left us high and dry here with another problem about to blow up into chaos. A fine descriptive write and my imagination ran riot as this poor family suffered at the hands of a madman, I wish I had a six left, a magical story, inventive and well presented, a WINNER for the contest for sure, love Dolly x
Comment Written 21-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2021
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Thank you so much for the fantastic review, Dolly. Yeah, I just wanted to come up with something different for the contest on family. So, of course, my brain goes dark. Lol. I dearly appreciate the generous stars and kind comments. I'm glad you liked my twisted little tale. Have yourself a great night.
=]
Ron
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A brilliant write Ron, you are inventive x x x
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Brutal. Chilling character, vividly rendered. Shocking ending!
[broke=>broken] down on the side of the road with my wife and (hyphenate) fourteen-year-old son
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2021
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Brutal. Chilling character, vividly rendered. Shocking ending!
[broke=>broken] down on the side of the road with my wife and (hyphenate) fourteen-year-old son
Comment Written 20-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2021
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Thank you for the fantastic review, Elizabeth. I really appreciate the stars and help. I fixed them Have yourself a great night.
=]
Ron
Comment from Wendy G
Glad this one is only fiction. The end has a twist which would indicate that they are still in trouble, if the police officer had any of the characteristics of his murderous brother. A well written and gripping story. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2021
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Glad this one is only fiction. The end has a twist which would indicate that they are still in trouble, if the police officer had any of the characteristics of his murderous brother. A well written and gripping story. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 20-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2021
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Thank you for the great review, Wendy. I really appreciate the generous stars and good luck wishes. I'm glad you liked this dark piece.
Ron
Comment from Mary Shifman
I liked this intense little story. As far as I'm concerned when it comes to protecting your family, you do what you have to do. The guy got what he deserved. Too bad he was the sheriff's brother. I'm glad sit's fiction but the sad truth is that it could happen anywhere. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2021
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I liked this intense little story. As far as I'm concerned when it comes to protecting your family, you do what you have to do. The guy got what he deserved. Too bad he was the sheriff's brother. I'm glad sit's fiction but the sad truth is that it could happen anywhere. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2021
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Thank you for the awesome review, Mary. Yes, sadly things like really do happen. I really appreciate the gracious stars. I'm glad you liked this dark piece.
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You are very welcome.
Comment from LyndaS
I think there is a distinct art in crafting a well written short story. The writer has the whole scenario in their head but has to be a master at cutting and slicing the fat to condense it down to adhere to the word limit and present a satisfying meal. This you have done brilliantly.
The challenge was 'family'. You introduced us to a very different and cohesive one in extreme circumstances. The family bond is clearly there and the environment you threw them in was dire and riveting. Your ending was the icing on the cake, definitely leaving the reading wanting more. Love that you left the emotional quotient up to the reader. You let those reading this paint their own world around this story.
Excellent entry into this contest. I lived in Utah for a spell. That part was fun. Very well done, Mr. Skulls. Lynda
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2021
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I think there is a distinct art in crafting a well written short story. The writer has the whole scenario in their head but has to be a master at cutting and slicing the fat to condense it down to adhere to the word limit and present a satisfying meal. This you have done brilliantly.
The challenge was 'family'. You introduced us to a very different and cohesive one in extreme circumstances. The family bond is clearly there and the environment you threw them in was dire and riveting. Your ending was the icing on the cake, definitely leaving the reading wanting more. Love that you left the emotional quotient up to the reader. You let those reading this paint their own world around this story.
Excellent entry into this contest. I lived in Utah for a spell. That part was fun. Very well done, Mr. Skulls. Lynda
Comment Written 20-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2021
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Wow, what an outstanding review, Lynda. Thank you so much. Yeah, I had to throw something off the wall in there for some variety in the contest. Lol. I didn't figure many folks would be writing about psychos and murder for a 'family' contest. Haha. I dearly appreciate the gracious rating. Thank you again. Have yourself a great upcoming weekend.
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Lol. Copy that.
Comment from Pantygynt
It doesn't really look as all your trouble are quite over yet. The would seem to be more than a hint of police corruption going on here.
That was some pretty impressive shooting at half a mile.
A family story is it. All good clean fun. And I was going to take a vacation in the USA.
I will say this though, I was gripped by the story despit the rather lengthy paragraphs early on.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2021
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It doesn't really look as all your trouble are quite over yet. The would seem to be more than a hint of police corruption going on here.
That was some pretty impressive shooting at half a mile.
A family story is it. All good clean fun. And I was going to take a vacation in the USA.
I will say this though, I was gripped by the story despit the rather lengthy paragraphs early on.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2021
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Thank you for the great review, Pantygynt. Yeah, I had to change it. I doubt the dad could have even seen the car that far away. Lol. I appreciate the generous stars, friend. Thank you again.
Ron
Comment from royowen
Heh heh. I love the story, an exercise in futility, one doesn't read a story with this much irony in it, consider, the car was a lemon, the only vehicle to stop was a vicious murderer, but the policeman was his, this family shouldn't have left their town, brilliantly written, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2021
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Heh heh. I love the story, an exercise in futility, one doesn't read a story with this much irony in it, consider, the car was a lemon, the only vehicle to stop was a vicious murderer, but the policeman was his, this family shouldn't have left their town, brilliantly written, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 20-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2021
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Thank you for the awesome review, Roy. I really appreciate the generous stars and good luck wishes, friend. I'm glad you liked this twisted tale. Have a great night.
Ron
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Well done