| Humor Fiction posted September 30, 2020 | Chapters: |
...61 62 -63- 64... 
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a pun about marriage
A chapter in the book The Corona saga
Holy masko-mony
by Iza Deleanu
Just imagine two young orthodox Christians eager to tie the knot on Coronella time. Traditionally a marriage will have to take place in a church, but now since they closed them, the bride and groom will have a Zoom ceremony. The health authorities will keep an eye on the ceremony as well. So, as a requirement of the ceremony will be for the young couple to stay 2 meters apart and of course they will have to wear a mask.
The priest will Zoom in and read the prayers and the blessing of the marriage. They will have to walk around the table by themselves and keeping the social distance at all times. After that when the moment of the kiss will arrive the health authorities will interfere with a questionnaire of anti-Coronella measures. The groom will eagerly remove the mask, but the Health Authorities will yell at him:
- Stop! Do not remove the mask! I repeat: DO NOT REMOVE THE MASK!
- But, I need to kiss my bride. What the heck! This is part of the ritual? What kind of ceremony is this without the kissy-kissy section?
- Sir, we are living in difficult times. You can't kiss the bride until you answer the following questionnaire:
- Okay, shoot!
- Have you been outside Canada for the past fourteen days?
- I wish!
- Sir?
- No, I have not! Next!
- Have you been in contact with anyone that presented signs of Covid?
- Are you for real? How would I know?
- Sir?
- Okay, I guess, no?
- Do you present symptoms of fever, dry cough, tiredness, aches and pains, tiredness, sore throat, loss of taste or smell, rash on skin and difficulty breathing or shortness of breath?
- Sir?
- What the hell. It's the season of cold...
- Sir?
- No! I have zero symptoms. Would you like to zoom in and check my temperature, just to be on the safe side?
- Sir, we will get to that soon.
- What?
- Well, we have a team outside your ceremony hall with a test kit for Covid.
- Are you for real?
- I don't understand. Sir, you and your bride need to take the Covid test.
- Okay, let's do it. I really need to get back to my bride.
- One last request.
- What now?
- After we test you... you and your bride need to get in self-isolation until we call you with the results. If it's negative.... You may kiss the bride.
- Self-isolation? Awesome. This will be our honeymoon!
- Not quite. Each of you will self-isolate in a different place. You may meet the bride after fourteen days. Happy marriage!
If you were them, wouldn't you wish a quiet and discreet ceremony... just to kiss the bride? What a pun! Handle with care, marriage to share with the Covid heir!
Pun-Filled Short Story contest entry
Just imagine two young orthodox Christians eager to tie the knot on Coronella time. Traditionally a marriage will have to take place in a church, but now since they closed them, the bride and groom will have a Zoom ceremony. The health authorities will keep an eye on the ceremony as well. So, as a requirement of the ceremony will be for the young couple to stay 2 meters apart and of course they will have to wear a mask.
The priest will Zoom in and read the prayers and the blessing of the marriage. They will have to walk around the table by themselves and keeping the social distance at all times. After that when the moment of the kiss will arrive the health authorities will interfere with a questionnaire of anti-Coronella measures. The groom will eagerly remove the mask, but the Health Authorities will yell at him:
- Stop! Do not remove the mask! I repeat: DO NOT REMOVE THE MASK!
- But, I need to kiss my bride. What the heck! This is part of the ritual? What kind of ceremony is this without the kissy-kissy section?
- Sir, we are living in difficult times. You can't kiss the bride until you answer the following questionnaire:
- Okay, shoot!
- Have you been outside Canada for the past fourteen days?
- I wish!
- Sir?
- No, I have not! Next!
- Have you been in contact with anyone that presented signs of Covid?
- Are you for real? How would I know?
- Sir?
- Okay, I guess, no?
- Do you present symptoms of fever, dry cough, tiredness, aches and pains, tiredness, sore throat, loss of taste or smell, rash on skin and difficulty breathing or shortness of breath?
- Sir?
- What the hell. It's the season of cold...
- Sir?
- No! I have zero symptoms. Would you like to zoom in and check my temperature, just to be on the safe side?
- Sir, we will get to that soon.
- What?
- Well, we have a team outside your ceremony hall with a test kit for Covid.
- Are you for real?
- I don't understand. Sir, you and your bride need to take the Covid test.
- Okay, let's do it. I really need to get back to my bride.
- One last request.
- What now?
- After we test you... you and your bride need to get in self-isolation until we call you with the results. If it's negative.... You may kiss the bride.
- Self-isolation? Awesome. This will be our honeymoon!
- Not quite. Each of you will self-isolate in a different place. You may meet the bride after fourteen days. Happy marriage!
If you were them, wouldn't you wish a quiet and discreet ceremony... just to kiss the bride? What a pun! Handle with care, marriage to share with the Covid heir!
The priest will Zoom in and read the prayers and the blessing of the marriage. They will have to walk around the table by themselves and keeping the social distance at all times. After that when the moment of the kiss will arrive the health authorities will interfere with a questionnaire of anti-Coronella measures. The groom will eagerly remove the mask, but the Health Authorities will yell at him:
- Stop! Do not remove the mask! I repeat: DO NOT REMOVE THE MASK!
- But, I need to kiss my bride. What the heck! This is part of the ritual? What kind of ceremony is this without the kissy-kissy section?
- Sir, we are living in difficult times. You can't kiss the bride until you answer the following questionnaire:
- Okay, shoot!
- Have you been outside Canada for the past fourteen days?
- I wish!
- Sir?
- No, I have not! Next!
- Have you been in contact with anyone that presented signs of Covid?
- Are you for real? How would I know?
- Sir?
- Okay, I guess, no?
- Do you present symptoms of fever, dry cough, tiredness, aches and pains, tiredness, sore throat, loss of taste or smell, rash on skin and difficulty breathing or shortness of breath?
- Sir?
- What the hell. It's the season of cold...
- Sir?
- No! I have zero symptoms. Would you like to zoom in and check my temperature, just to be on the safe side?
- Sir, we will get to that soon.
- What?
- Well, we have a team outside your ceremony hall with a test kit for Covid.
- Are you for real?
- I don't understand. Sir, you and your bride need to take the Covid test.
- Okay, let's do it. I really need to get back to my bride.
- One last request.
- What now?
- After we test you... you and your bride need to get in self-isolation until we call you with the results. If it's negative.... You may kiss the bride.
- Self-isolation? Awesome. This will be our honeymoon!
- Not quite. Each of you will self-isolate in a different place. You may meet the bride after fourteen days. Happy marriage!
If you were them, wouldn't you wish a quiet and discreet ceremony... just to kiss the bride? What a pun! Handle with care, marriage to share with the Covid heir!
I hope you had a laugh reading this. Thank you for reading:)
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