Humor Fiction posted August 1, 2020

This work has reached the exceptional level
how actually the things went down

A sniper for the diaper

by Iza Deleanu

Every Saturday I had in my schedule babysitting. Well what started as one-time kind of thing became a permanent task.

I helped my neighbor once to babysit her two daughters, one-and-a half and four years old children. She said that it is only for this time because she has an afternoon shift at the hotel and her husband works until 7 pm. I agreed, for free, even if I was scared. You know, I am good with cats, kids I have no clue.

It's true in my first year as a newcomer I worked in a daycare, so I knew that kids love music and crazy stories. So here I am, killing my phone trying to find baby songs on YouTube and in the same time trying to entertain the four-year-old, who was acting like Princess Capriciosa: "I don't want this, I want that. My mommy is doing this, and you are not." Man, I swear, leave me anytime with a baby, but take the crazy toddler from me. I can imagine only what is she is going to be like as a teenager.

The baby was adorable. Anytime I was playing music, she was dancing like crazy. She was a very happy baby and easy going. Man, I can feed a baby, and rock her back to sleep, but the diaper thing is above my pay grade. I am always putting them backwards.

One Saturday, after I tried to change the baby, Antonia, the four year old came to the changing table and said: "You put it wrong." I sighed expecting for her to start one of the mommy is doing this and that. I stepped back and "smiling", I said: "why don't you show me how to do it, mumbling under my breath, you smart pants. She calmly stepped in front of the changing table and switched the diaper.

"Wow, you did it. Good job, Antonia. You know what, now you are now my official helper, would you like that?"

"Yeah, what's a helper?"

" Do you love your sister?"


"Then you got the job. You are officially the diaper-changer. And this will be our secret, OK?"

"Secret? I love secrets!"

Of course the things didn't go down as I planned. That evening when her mom comes home, Antonia started to jump and scream with joy:

"Mommy, mommy can you keep a secret?"

"Of course, baby, what is it?"

"I am a helper!"

"You are, baby, you are a good helper for mommy?"

"No, mommy I am a helper for her."

Shit, now I have to confess.

"Yes, she is right; today she helped me to change the diaper. You know my cat knows how to use the litter box, they don't need diapers. Antonia showed me what is the correct procedure for a diaper. She was extremely helpful."

So you see things didn't go down, the way I've planned, my cover was gone. Freak, I still don't know how to change a diaper. If I ever have a kid, it better come potty trained!


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