| General Script posted May 18, 2020 |
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a one scene script
Group: After the Break
by Bill Schott
A group of story characters are together at a meeting. They are assembled off-stage and will reform in a semi-circle, in the order they appear on the roster below, from left to right, facing upstage. They have been on a five minute break for thirty minutes. Characters: Pons Maninoff (Pons) Ned Knuckelled (Ned) Pez Pitch (Pez) Pallas Pitch (Pallas) Matt Tell (Matt) Jiffy Gel (Jiffy) Unnamed character: ----------------------------------------------------------- Pons: (enters from the left and sits in the first chair) So glad you folks could make it back from break. Unnamed character: (enters from the left and sits in every chair on HER way to the far right seat) Ned: (enters from the left and sits next to Pons) Guess yer five minute break got broke. Pons: We'll have to cover these items fast so these guys can go about their business. Pez: (enters from the right, walking abreast with his brother Pallas. They sit next to each other and Ned) That break was longer than the first half of this meeting. Pallas: Yeah, and the seats are more comfortable in the bathroom; I nodded off. Ned: I do that at home a lot. Matt: (entering from the left and overhearing Ned's comment in passing) Sounds like you need new furniture, Ned. Ned: Yer prob'ly, right. Dun think I kin afford the dang plumbin' bill though. Jiffy: (enters from the right and notices that the unnamed character is now a woman. He stops next to her chair and looks at the others) I got a question. Pallas: You were sittin' next to the rocket surgeon, Genius. Jiffy: (Ignoring Pallas) Wasn't she a guy before? Ned: Hey, maybe she's transmissionin'. Pez: Was the break that long? Unnamed character: (Stands and gives herself an animated hug) Pons: Ahhh, yeah. Let's get back to the meeting. Ned: What cher name, Missy? Unnamed character: (Shrugs with her palms up, eyes staring off to nowhere, and mouth agape) Pez: Is this deja vu? Ned: (looking at the unnamed character) Er you Day Ja Voo, Missy? Matt: Deja Vu means it happened before, Ned. Ned: I dun know what she means 'cause I caint hear her sayin' nothin'. Pallas: Boy, Ned, that's odd. I can hear you, but there's nothing there either. Ned: Wonner if we's relativilated. Jiffy: Maybe so. One's dumb and one -- doesn't talk. Unnamed character: (reaches into a gunny sack and pulls out a stack of papers. She walks the line, giving each person a sheet, then sits down) Pons: Right. Here are the questions and comments that fans have. Ned: This one at the top is fer me. 'Is Ned really like that er is he just wrote thata way?' Pez: It says 'written that way', Ned. Pallas: Next question, right? Matt: Drill Sergeant Mother Scratcher wants to know if Jiffy and I are done with the Army or are we going to see it through? Jiffy: I don't think we're believable, Matt. People seem to think Drill Sergeants are cool and collected trainers and that recruits are automatons that get in line without question. Unnamed character: (stands and walks robotically around in a circle then sits back down) Pons: Let's move along. Here's another question for Ned. 'Do you speak several dialects? It seems you have anything from a Texas drawl to a Louisanna twang.' Ned: I dint figger I wers di-electrical at all. Pallas: NEXT! Pez: Here's one asking if Pallas and me will be doing scenes again soon. Pallas: We're going to go solve this missing diver case, right? Pez: Sounds like maybe Ned's shark-that-got-away might have JAWSed her. Matt: I find it unlikely there's a fresh water shark here. It's the midwest United States, not Asia or the tropics. Jiffy: That's why no one would suspect it. Pallas: Right, Sherlock. Sharks are a sneaky bunch. There might be one among us right now. Unnamed character: (sticks her right elbow out in front, level with the ground, forearm bent back to represent a shark fin. Stands and walks back and forth in front of the group. Pallas provides the infamous shark music dmmmm-duh, dmmmm-duh ... then faster .. until she returns to her chair) Pons: Right. We'll take that as a yes, there will be an investigation. Ned: She dint look nuttin' like that shark what I saw. Pez: Still not sold on your shark story, Ned. Matt: You might have hooked a sunken kayak. Jiffy: Maybe one of Nessy's pups, Ned. Or, maybe a mermaid. Pons: So Matt. If the Army is out, what will you two do? Ned: I think Jiffy's gonna be nursin' a fat lip. Jiffy: Bring it, Ned. Ned and Jiffy begin wrestling and the group forms a vision-blocking circle around them as everyone shouts fight-related jargon. Unnamed character: (lowers to the floor and does the worm across the room and out of the scene to the left) The End :
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