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another chapter on the book of retirement
A chapter in the book The Book of Retirement
His List
by Iza Deleanu
The author has placed a warning on this post for language.
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Finally the day of retirement arrived. His wife gave him as a retirement present a list, mandatory in her eyes, but optional for Mr. Big Shoe.
- Paint the house
- Change the furniture
- Search for a realtor
- ……..
And the freaking list goes on and on. Suddenly he felt that landed from a perfect democratic position - his work, in a freaking totalitarian regime, at home. He gave up, the dolce far niente from being an employee, to the full-time job as a chore boy. To all her demands he says yes mommy but continue to keep up his own list running in the background.
They pretended that everything is ok for a while. Mr. Shoe was keeping his painting tools ready, and to demonstrate his good will, he even painted a wall. The wife came home and happily exclaim:” Oh, my Picasso.”
Soon he got tired of this job, so he gave the room a break. Mr. Shoe put her painting project on hold. After all he got at least fifty more years to live, so a wall or two per year should be ok. He thought to himself I am not a slave, I have worked my entire life to have some Me time.
Between you and me, he always had lots of Me time, in fact he got more than fifty years of experience on that front. Curious I approached to see HIS famous list. Surprise four items only… pour le connoisseur:
- Do NOTHING
- Walk out every time wiffie comes home
- Watch lots of TV
- Sleep eat and be married
His wife said nothing to his agenda, but you can guess that she had an app of her own running in the background:
- Ignore the sucker
- Prepare divorce papers
- Get the hell out of here
- Ask for kitties’ support
- Sayanora mother fucker!
Finally the day of retirement arrived. His wife gave him as a retirement present a list, mandatory in her eyes, but optional for Mr. Big Shoe.
They pretended that everything is ok for a while. Mr. Shoe was keeping his painting tools ready, and to demonstrate his good will, he even painted a wall. The wife came home and happily exclaim:” Oh, my Picasso.”
Soon he got tired of this job, so he gave the room a break. Mr. Shoe put her painting project on hold. After all he got at least fifty more years to live, so a wall or two per year should be ok. He thought to himself I am not a slave, I have worked my entire life to have some Me time.
Between you and me, he always had lots of Me time, in fact he got more than fifty years of experience on that front. Curious I approached to see HIS famous list. Surprise four items only… pour le connoisseur:
- Paint the house
- Change the furniture
- Search for a realtor
- ……..
They pretended that everything is ok for a while. Mr. Shoe was keeping his painting tools ready, and to demonstrate his good will, he even painted a wall. The wife came home and happily exclaim:” Oh, my Picasso.”
Soon he got tired of this job, so he gave the room a break. Mr. Shoe put her painting project on hold. After all he got at least fifty more years to live, so a wall or two per year should be ok. He thought to himself I am not a slave, I have worked my entire life to have some Me time.
Between you and me, he always had lots of Me time, in fact he got more than fifty years of experience on that front. Curious I approached to see HIS famous list. Surprise four items only… pour le connoisseur:
- Do NOTHING
- Walk out every time wiffie comes home
- Watch lots of TV
- Sleep eat and be married
- Ignore the sucker
- Prepare divorce papers
- Get the hell out of here
- Ask for kitties’ support
- Sayanora mother fucker!
This is a new chapter in the Book of Retirement. Each story from the previous chapter can be read as a stand alone. As usual, thank you for reading and if you have any grammar suggestions, shoot them my way. I wish you all an amazing day, thank you.
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