Ten Tourism Sites I'll Never See

I have been working too hard and feel I could benefit from a relaxing holiday somewhere. I went to see a travel agent and he made some recommendations, but when I heard the names I was disappointed in his suggestions:

Bucking ’em Palace: I don’t enjoy rodeo, so why would I want to go to London to see it?

The Awful Tower is in Paris. If it’s so horrible, why didn’t they design a nice one?

The Stinx is near the pyramids in Egypt. I’m sensitive to bad smells so I’ll give it a miss.

The Cistern Chapel is in the Vatican, Italy – across the Mediterranean Sea from Egypt, so maybe this is contributing to the Stinx. It’s off my list.

Yellowstone National Park is mostly in Wyoming. It sounds like a lot of peeing has been going on – something else that stinx.

Mt. Rushmore is in South Dakota. It sounds exhausting; I’ll be taking it easy on my holiday – I don’t like hustle and bustle.

The Great Barrier Grief is off the coast of Queensland in Australia. Life is depressing enough already – I want to feel happy on holiday.

The Forbidden City is in Beijing, China. I’ll wait until it’s allowed – I’d better not go there or they might lock me up.

Angkor Wat is in Cambodia, but whenever I asked the travel agent what it is he just said, “Wat?” If he can’t answer my question, how will I know if it’s worth visiting?

Taj Mahal in Agra, India. I like blues music but why would I want to go to India to hear him? I saw him perform in the States in the ’60s – he must be an old dude by now.

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Oh well, it might just be easier to stay home and have imaginary travels. I could put some travel posters up around the house, have a load of sand dumped in the lounge room, and get an inflatable flamingo for ambience.
I wonder what that nice deaf young travel agent is doing next week? He might be on for a holiday romance.