General Fiction posted September 4, 2019

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Very tired tonight, just rattling on.

I Believe

by Gail Denham

I believe that cows have five stomachs, or is it four? Don't remember -- but they endlessly -- same with sheeps -- they never quit chewing, even the babies, one of which I had to hold for a couple hours at the fair while the grandkids were busy. I believe that chipmunks propagate just like rabbits -- and if we were gone for a month, they'd chew their way into our garage and birth their babies in my boxes of collectibles.

I believe some folks have found a mouse or parts of one in their soup. Whether the husband slipped it in just to annoy the wife -- whether the waiter has a grudge against old people sitting too long in their restaurant -- whether the manufacturing plant is so dirty inspectors avoid it -- whatever the cause, I probably won't eat dark bean soup again.

I believe the world is round. Certainly by now we've discovered we will not fall off, even when the earth speeds up -- which it seems to do when you wake up fast and there's a busy day ahead -- or perhaps it's like the old merry-go-round pushers who tried their best to knock you off on your behind -- and then laughed for the rest of recess.

I believe that most people fall asleep when they watch documentaries about men who invented something difficult -- and the narrator, with a monotone voice like some old farmer who never has a chance to talk much cuz he had a gabby wife -- so he talks out the side of his mouth -- and the narrator relates each tiny detail about the invention -- and you didn't sleep much last night -- and why not fall asleep? It's only a TV program, probably made up -- and we're retired.

I believe that grandkids love grandparents like sixty until they become 16 or so -- then they begin to doubt that you walked three miles to school every day, both ways, in the snow, and it was uphill each time. They question whether your mother and grandmother fought off an intruder with a baseball bat and a jar of pepper when they were threatened in the barn -- that you once had sort of mousy brown hair and you were cute and real thin -- and you actually had a couple boyfriends -- and when you were a teen a coca-cola cost five cents and gas was 50 cents a gallon.

I believe that life continues to be fun, even if you're a senior and you creak when you rise from a chair -- your feet hurt all the time -- your false teeth (which you've worn since you were 25 cuz all your family had rotten teeth) -- have a tendency to slip, so you keep your hand in front of your mouth when you speak, just in case -- and the reason your face is sagging is that gravity is getting stronger every year, so watch out.

I believe when the Bible tells me that God's eye is on the sparrow -- that He is awake and I can go to sleep knowing He'll take care of things ok -- that God wants me to be His friend -- that He's holy and knows everything I do, so I'd best be careful -- but He does forgive -- that there is a heaven ahead with streets of gold. Actually that part I do not understand, considering the cost of gold these days -- and it must be hard to walk on gold. Grass is nicer, so I hope there are fields of grass and wild flowers when we get there.

I believe I'm so tired -- I worked hard today -- and I'd best toddle to my recliner before I fall asleep -- although if an interesting TV program appears, like maybe a British mystery, I'll come awake to find out who did it -- while hubby snores in his recliner -- where he always nods off the minute his rear hits the chair.

I believe I'll say amen now.

I Believe writing prompt entry
Writing Prompt
Write a story or essay that begins with the sentence: I believe _______ (finish the sentence). Maximum word count: 1,000.

Thanks to Bob one oldreb for a funny cow - to start off this silly ramble.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

Artwork by Bob one oldreb at

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