I won’t whine about it. I'll bottle up my crushed feelings and carry on with more pressing matters as I grapple with the fact that my home-made wine is sniffed at by others. I'll swallow my pride.

I went to grape lengths with this vintage. My bordeaux collie, Albert Wine-Stein, lapped up my praise for drinking it when I gave him some. That dog's a barrel of fun after a bowlful!  

My new motto will be: “Live free, or dry!”