This is the phone that never rings! I am looking straight at it trying to make some conversation, but nothing! It won’t work! The person I would

like to talk to, it is never at home… She is in a better place and is watching over me. I lost something a long time ago, but I don’t remember what it

was. From time to time I am looking at this faded picture and wonder… was that a person; a pet? A thing? Maybe a thought? Was it important?

Running back and forth, my pain is numbed in the arms of my despair. WHAT WAS IT? WHERE HAVE I LEFT? Did it come with me in my
bags when I turned my back to everything I once knew.

 I am sitting in the shadow of my ELDORADO. Where do I have to hide my failure? Back in that home that I left ten years ago, everybody

thinks that I have a life to die for! I left him, lost him… the water was so cold! However, who knows that I am struggling between two worlds? I

cannot go back, because I have lost my place there. I am trying to find a home here, but nobody is taking the trouble to listen to my voice. I am

one of the many. My face is wearing the marks of despair, but this is not a unique mark among the locals! And again here is just me, alone and this stupid blank telephone!

- Hey, you, stop calling me crazy! The phone starts talking in a ding dong tone.

- What? Who? How? Scared, I asked.

- Your arrogance makes me sick! If I’m not ringing as you wish, it is not my fault! Have you ever thought about why nobody wants to talk to you? The phone starts moving its handset in anger

- I beg your pardon? With a lost voice, I tried to make my point.

- You’re too dull, unimportant, you’re nothing, useless! How about this? The handset was dropping obscenities without fear.

- Shut up! It can’t be right! Everybody loves me! I lost the handset and moved away from the phone.

- Sure, sugar, but you? Do you really love and accept yourself just the way you are? And what body are you talking about? I've know you for ten years, and nobody is leaving here. You all by yourself trapped into this tiny apartment because you are too afraid that if anybody catches even a glimpse of you… you will disintegrate. The handset starts flying back into space I plunged trying to find the rebel for the last time.

- Well... I won’t have to justify myself in front of you! Do I? How do you even see me? Confident, I asked.

- Hip! Hip! Hooray! You’re the most beautiful and naive creature in the world! Have you noticed that you are from a species already extinct? You are part of that collection of rare butterflies that never flies. Ha, Ha! That was a good one, I can congratulate myself, said the phone.

- Stop! I beg you! I don’t want to listen… you’re too cruel! I prefer to remain in silence! What’s the point to fight back?

- Hm! Sure! You’re right! There’s no point! o.k. Then stay the way you are and stop staring at me! I’m just a stupid telephone! I have no idea
how’s to be human! And I think that I will stay like this because I don’t like to make a tragedy from my living! In any case, I don’t want to hide and cry in the corner for a lost love.

             ****

Evrika, I found it, it was my ghost. Finally, now I can start leaving for real. I can eventually travel; lose myself in the crystalline blues of your

eyes. How I wish that you could see me … Only if you can hear me and embrace me. I am not jealous; in that boat, I sacrificed my life to save

yours. I lost my right to be here with you, but I remember you, and I hope you keep me in your memories. No more excuses! Please don’t tell

my parents that I am not with you anymore. Keep sending them letters, and give them hope. Tell them that I will come back home one day when there will be no borders between your world and mine.

He shall come on a white horse to bring salvation…

 I know you don’t believe in HIM, but I do. I am grateful He takes care of you and also is watching over my parents. He gave me to them at the

beginning to keep me safe for you. We are insignificant drops of sand on His Hands. He shapes us on the shore of time. Now I know! I am

here with HIM, and here is no starvation nor visas, or guns. Here you can get lost in the BIG QUIET. I am happy here, but please stay where

you are. We are watching over. Leave your life in peace, my dear one. Now I remember! I lost you in the storm, but somebody found you, my dear soul.