Let me tell you a story, it's sad but very true
I was packing him away, his eyes were wide and blue
He didn't say a word, he just lay there very still
Don't think I'll forget that one, they called him Bullshit Bill

Didn't matter what you'd done, Bill had done it better
I had a pic of the Queen claimed he had a letter
Stopped in at the palace to catch his old pal Prince Phil
Flashed Phil's card it read ADMIT my good bud Bullshit Bill

When I came to bid farewell, he didn't say a word
Asked him how things were going, seemed like he never heard
Said; 'Hope you enjoy the journey up that last long hill.'
Tears formed in my eyes, for my old mate Bullshit Bill

Was just a job for me, I packed 'em every night
"Are you comfortable,' I'd ask? 'Hope it's not too tight."
I'll not forget the Vatican, it was such a thrill
Pope looked down and said; 'God Bless, to my friend Bullshit Bill.'

Bet you're wond'rin' what he did, did he do it often
Was that place's packer, he'd fill the empty coffin
Bill was my last customer he lay so quiet and still
Don't think I'll forget him soon, I called him Bullshit Bill