During the last several years of her life, Mom was frequently ill. In fact, even when not in a hospital she had several medical conditions that plagued her. She had been weakened by open heart surgery and the hospital acquired MRSA blood infection, which simply wouldn't go away, regardless of the amount and type of anti-biotics. Her kidneys were failing, in part due to her failure to drink enough water daily. One day I asked her if she'd drink a glass of water and she said, "No." When I asked why not, in her way she said, "If I drink water, then I'll have to get up to use the bathroom." She was an aging couch potato and there was no convincing her of the benefits. This ultimately led to renal dialysis three times per week. The dialysis portal in her chest was a permanent fixture, but also a freeway for infections and medical complications.

She had acquired diabetes, primarily from a poor diet. Mom loved to eat candy, cheese cake, and about anything else that was sweet. She was Italian and loved to eat bread and any kind of pasta which spikes blood glucose. I recall sitting with her one day and discussing her diet. She said, "What's the point of living if I can't enjoy the foods I like?" I didn't have an answer and never brought up her diet again. Did I mention that Mom could be stubborn.

After a five week hospital stay, she was discharged to a long term care hospital for rehabilitation to allow her to become ambulatory and return home. This treatment lasted another month. She might have finished in less time, except that whenever a physical therapist asked if she was ready for therapy, Mom would say no. As a result she didn't get three modalities each day as planned. I met with hospital administration and was successful in getting the ordered therapies delivered. Dad would sit with Mom every day for 12-16 hours. They had been high school sweethearts and after 65 years of marriage they were inseparable.

On the scheduled day of Mom's discharge, Dad was seated in the guest chair watching her sleep while I was in my office at work. I was planning to visit in the afternoon once Mom and Dad were home. The phone rang and it was a nurse from the hospital telling me that Mom was unresponsive and Dad was seated in the chair next to her. I asked if she had told him. She replied, "Yes, I told him she is unresponsive." I immediately realized that Dad might not have understood and thought she was sleeping. I hung up, ran to my car, and raced to the hospital which was only a ten minute drive. When I arrived in Mom's room, Dad looked up and put one finger over his lips as to indicate I should be quiet. Damn, he didn't know she had passed.

The nurse had told me the monitor alarms rang and they asked Dad to step outside. Mom suffered a massive stroke, had convulsions, vomited dried blood and died. Fortunately, Dad didn't witness any of that. The nurses didn't know what to say to Dad and let him return to the chair while Mom lay in the bed without having a cover over her face. I immediately went to Dad, helped him stand and gave him a hug. I told him it was time for us to go and that Mom had passed. Dad was confused. He said, "But she's being discharged and is coming home today." With tears in my eyes, I told him (a lie) that Mom had died peacefully in her sleep. He began to weep and I took him home with me.