Mystery and Crime Fiction posted March 13, 2019 Chapters:  ...20 21 -22- 

This work has reached the exceptional level
Tommy has to make a tough choices, his freedom or his life.

A chapter in the book Eyes on You

Tommy's Final Stand

by Mistydawn

Finding out his pregnant wife Jen needs a heart transplant, and he needs $10,000 for her aftercare Tommy turns to a life of crime. He robs houses, selling the stolen goods for cash. He and his two friends are in the middle of a job when the owners come home. Tommy is taken to the station for questioning then released. He tries to rob a house on his own when a dog attacks him. When he finally makes it inside, Tommy discovers three dead bodies. He grabs the money and runs. The neighbor sees him leaving and informs the police. He's taken to the station for the second time. With an Alibi for the time of the murders, he's released. The doctor tells him that Jen needs to have the operation within a week. In desperation, he asks his old boss, a Mexican drug lord for his job back. Having a drug addict mom and an alcoholic father, he had to work for Hernandez to support himself until he was old enough to get a legitimate job. Meanwhile, the police find Tommy's prints at the murder house so they want to question him again. Tommy escapes a near capture and is now hiding out in a cave.

I know I'm going to sound like a crybaby, but I'm cold, tired and extremely weak. The bleeding has finally stopped, but my leg is so red and swollen I'm afraid I might lose it if I don't do something soon. My pain is so excruciating, I can barely move. Oh, how I wish I was home instead of being stuck here in this dark, dank cave.

I start thinking back to all the happy times I'd spent with my family; all the boy's firsts Jen and I shared. First smile, first words, first steps. How Timmy the clown would show off for the camera while his siblings shied away.

I then imagine some of the fun-filled days we'd spent in the park. Swinging, sliding, chasing the ball around. I recall the day Timmy decided to take Rufus for a walk and how he returned a muddy mess on the verge of tears.

"It's the mud monster, run, boys, run," I say. Screaming, we dart in different directions. Seeing potential in this new game, Timmy chases after us.

I chuckle through my tears. I'd give anything to have days like that again. Feeling moisture stream down my face, I wipe it away. Oh, what was I thinking, doing what I did, putting Jen through all this hell? She doesn't deserve this, she doesn't.

I picture Jen hooked up to dozens of machines as she anxiously awaits her transplant. At least I made enough for her operation. I just hope she can forgive me for what I've done, and the boys will remember some of the happy times we shared. Maybe it's best they forget me, move on.

A horrific thought suddenly comes to mind. I'm no better than my father, no better at all. How did I end up like this, how? I swore I'd be nothing like him and yet here I am, doing the same shit he used to do. What have I done, Oh, what have I done? I had a good thing and I ruined it, ruined it. Me and my stupidity.

I wouldn't blame Jen a bit if she never wanted to hear from me again. She'd probably be better off without me; like mom was when she left dad. I dry my face again.

The way I see it, I have two choices, I can either hide like my cowardly father and eventually get caught, or I can make things right. I swipe my face with my dirty shirt tail as I contemplate the pros and cons. I'm going to prove to everyone, to myself that I'm nothing like him.

I try to stand, the pain radiates up my leg, quickly traveling throughout my body. I topple down on the rock. I've got to do this for my family's sake. Gritting my teeth, I hobble towards the entrance. My name echoes through the cave. Frightened, I turn and head towards the back. The pain becomes so fierce that it stops me in my tracks. I have to hide. I try to take another step, the pain is so intense, I plummet to the ground.


The K9 unit and crew are scoping out every inch of the forest while the police copters continue to circle noisily overhead. Their orders were to use any means necessary to bring their fugitive in, and that's just what they planned to do.

The sergeant is pacing back and forth in front of the park's entrance, anxiously waiting for some news. I can't stand this not knowing much longer. She glances towards the woods, wishing she could be a part of the hunt. The captain ordered her to stand down because of her condition.

"I'm only four weeks, Joe." She rubs her belly and smiles. They've been trying to get pregnant for well over a year.

"Four weeks, or fifty weeks, I don't care. I don't want you or our child in danger, do you understand?"

"The normal term is forty weeks, not fifty," she corrects, rolling her eyes.

"You know what I mean..."

Rachel knows exactly what's going on, he's being overly protective like her father. The guys are right, it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission sometimes. God, I wish I'd hear something soon. Glancing at her watch she realizes it's only been a minute since she last checked. I can't take this anymore. Pulling her gun from her holster, she darts towards the woods.


Tommy is struggling to his feet when he hears footsteps coming towards him. He glances over and discovers a strange woman is headed his way. Pushing himself off the ground, he tries to make a run for it, the pain is so overwhelming, he falls face first in the dirt. I've got to get away, I've just gotta. Tommy tries again. He's halfway up when his legs begin to buckle; he plummets to the cold hard ground.

"Oh, Tommy, I'm so glad you're alright," the lady says as she stoops down beside him.

"Linda?" he asks, curiously eyeing the stranger. Chuckling, she removes her disguise. "How did you...?"

"Never mind that now, we need to get out of here before the police show up."

"Tommy, Linda?" Jimmy asks as he steps inside the cave.

"Jimmy?" Tommy asks, surprised.

"Linda told me where to find you. I would've been here sooner, but it took me a minute to figure it out."

"Imagine that," Tommy laughs. He always teases Jimmy about not being the sharpest cutlery in the drawer.

Jimmy scowls. "Up yours, bud." Tommy chuckles again.

"Help me get him up," Linda orders. "Good, now put this on." She hands him her wig and overcoat. Tommy gives her a pleading look. "Just do it."

Tommy glances over at Jimmy. "One word, Jimmy, I swear." Tommy glares as he dons the disguise. Jimmy chuckles.


"I think so." Linda and Jimmy grab a hold of his arms.

"Easy now Tommy," Linda instructs as they continue towards the entrance. They were almost to the front when a woman steps through the door, a gun pointed at them. Frightened, The three stop in their tracks.


"Daddy told me where to find you. Said I need to take care of some unfinished business, tie up a few loose ends." She cocks her gun.

That's typical of Hernandez, sending his daughter to do his work. "You don't want to do this, Lana, you really don't."

"Says who?" she questions, walking closer.

Tommy glances nervously at his sister and then his friend. "It's me, you're after, not them, so shoot me and let them go." Tommy hobbles towards her.

"Don't come any closer," she warns. Tommy ignores her command.

"No, Tommy, stop," Linda begs.

"I mean it, Tommy."

"Police. Drop your weapon, now," Rachel orders. Lana turns to see three cops in the entryway their guns pointed at her. "I said drop it now." Realizing she's defeated, Lana tosses her weapon in the mud.

"Hands above your head. Do it now." Rachel holds her at gunpoint while a second officer cuffs her.

"You better watch your back, Tommy. Watch it real close, cause the crew is going to come after you. You and everyone you hold dear." Her eerie laugh echoes through the cave.

"That's enough out of you," Rachel says as she drags her through the door.

"They'll be coming for you, Tommy, for all of you," Lana yells. 


The police hauled all of us off to jail that day. After a brutal night of interrogation, the DA agreed to let me go on two conditions. I tell them what I know about Hernandez and I agree to testify in open court. Knowing the crew would kill us if I did, I refused.

Seeing my hesitation, Joe agreed to post an officer outside Jen's hospital room and a second at the apartment. Promising to move us out of state when Jen is well enough to travel. He then stated that If I didn't accept his offer, he'd charge me with conspiracy which would afford me a long stint upstate. 

Things were looking up for us, better than what we'd hoped. Jen recovered from her operation, giving birth to our beautiful baby girl two months later. I'm the district manager for several electronics stores. Jen and I felt like we were given a fresh start in life.

Despite all our good fortune, all the precautions we take, there is one thought that continues to haunt me. The crew is out there, waiting, watching, anticipating sweet revenge.


Deep in the backlands of Utah, two large, cold, brown eyes continues to watch Tommy.

The end

Tommy main conspirator in the crime
Vinnie, Larry, Jimmy, Tommy's friends
Linda, Tommy's sister

Jen, Tommy's wife
Salois brothers, Andy, Jeremy, Jack career criminals.
Frank and Margret, Jen's parents. 
Lana Hernandez's daughter.

Berryville PD
Kirk, detective.
Rachel, sergeant
Joe, captain
Jerry detective

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