General Script posted February 15, 2019 |
Pons and Ned meet at an empty grave
Scene at a Cemetery
by Bill Schott
The scene opens with Pons standing by an open grave. Ned walks up from behind a huge, flowering bush. Ned: Hey, Pons. Whatcha doin’? Pons: Surprised that Ned seems to have appeared out of nowhere.That should be my question, Ned. Ned: Why would ya be asking yerself 'whatchya doin’?' Pons: Smiling and changing the subject. I’m checking out cemetery plots, Ned. The prices this year are compelling. Ned: Them low prices ought not make ya want ta drop dead yet, Pons. Pons: Of course not, Ned. It’s just an investment, so I won’t need to buy it later. Ned: I s’pect, warnst ya need one, someone else’ll be payin’ fer it. Pons: I don’t want that, Ned. When I die, I want everything to already be paid for. Ned: Ya do plan on livin’ a lotta years, right? Pons: Absolutely. Ned: I’ll be needin’ that hundert dollars back you prob’ly’ll be borrowin’ from me someday. Pons: Sure, Ned. See me about it last Thursday. Ned: Now, ‘bout this here grave. Ya gettin’ thisun ya think? Pons: I’m sure this is for someone already dead. Ned: Ya mean like Drac-ya-ler? Pons: Why Dracula? Ned: Well, I reckon he don’t wanna dig hisself outta a hole ev’ry night, so he would want an empty one like this here. Pons: That would be more practical, Ned, but Dracula isn’t real. He’s like Santa Claus. Ned: Ya mean Sanny goes ‘round biting folkes necks? He used ta be so nice. Wonder if this here grave b’longs ta him? Pons: Shaking his head and grinning. I guess his grave is at the North Pole, Ned. Ned: Wonner what theys gittin' fer graves up there? Pons: It probably depends on one thing or another. Ned: Well sure. Depends on whetter yer naughty -- er nice.
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