"Con Military Transgenders"

FADE IN

Candice Bergeron and Colton Wyatt are seated across the round table from one another as the lights come up. A GI Joe action figure stands on the table in front of them. The audience quiets as the camera rolls.

CANDICE
Welcome to Cracker Croakers for Thursday, January 31, 2019. I'm Candice Bergeron your hostess with the mostest.

COLTON
And, I'm your other host Colton Wyatt.

CANDICE (Curious)
Colton, where is the rainbow flag that we've had on the table the last two shows representing the LGBTQ community?

COLTON (Nonchalantly)
Oh that? I removed the flag before we came on the air.

CANDICE (Annoyed)
Up to now, we've been discussing the hot button controversial topic of transgenders being allowed to openly serve in the military. We'll continue that subject...

COLTON (Cuts her off)
Agnes Gordon Schaffer of the Rand Corporation stated the Defense Department asked their organization to conduct a study on the cost of transgender surgeries for military personnel. That figure came up to a whopping eight million dollars a year. In regards to the disruption of the military by allowing transgenders to openly serve, this same report indicated the impact of readiness could be significant based on the number of personnel who transitioned annually. We've already stated those costs can exceed more than 100,000 dollars per trangender.

CANDICE (Begins again)
There is also the problem of deploying transgenders in times of military crises.

COLTON (Interrupts her)
The recommendation is that only those transgenders who do not require a gender change remain deployable. This could become extremely detrimental to units engaged in defense of the United States. Military members in the middle of gender dysphoria frequently experience significant distress and difficulty functioning. Speaking from experience, combat operations can be challenging, highly stressful, and inherently dangerous. I know, I've been there and done that. There is widespread concern about how transgenders, who are dissatisfied with their lives in general because of the fact they are their biological selves, not their transitioned selves, would respond in these environments.

CANDICE
The Secretary of Homeland Security oversees the Coast Guard. He, and the Secretary of Defense, who oversees the rest of the military, have the authority to implement appropriate policies concerning all military personnel.

COLTON
That includes transgenders. The primary goal of the American military must always remain decisive and overwhelming victory against all enemies. The United States military can not become burdened with the tremendous disruption of transgenders in the service entails.

CANDICE (Scoffs)
Colton, can you provide a more concise depiction of how transgenders openly serving in the military could cause this disruption you're so adamant about?

COLTON
Sure can, Candice, and let's start with a real easy one first. Medical treatments for military transgenders can range from hormone-replacement therapies to gender-confirmation surgeries. There are also cross-sex hormone treatments and mental health considerations for transgenders that may interfere with their deployability. Now, let's consider another issue with transgenders and their potential impact on their units in times of crises. Transgenders who attempt to conceal their trans identities during their military service can suffer several emotionally draining episodes that may heavily impact their readiness to engage in conflict. These may also make them reclusive and therefore unreliable in high-stress situations. Does that knock the socks off your feet there Candice?

CANDICE (Does not respond to Colton's inquiry)
According to Military Times, an independent news source that covers most things military, many senior military leaders oppose integrating transgenders into troops.

COLTON
And, well they should because if deployment becomes necessary, the Department of Defense would need to choose the best course of action to take regarding the implementation of transgenders into those plans. Why should transgenders be offered special considerations while all other service members are required to deploy?

CANDICE
There is a high number of transgenders who serve in the military.

COLTON (Interrupts her)
Some sources place this number at twice, or better, the number of non-transgenders who serve.

CANDICE (Obviously perturbed)
Would you like to take over the rest of this show, Colton? I mean, you've interrupted me several times today.

COLTON (Shrugs his shoulders)
I could. As I was saying, the number of transgenders who currently serve in the military could potentially lead to a high rate of service members unprepared to fight because of the emotional issues involved with being transgender. That affects the overall preparedness of the Armed Forces.

CANDICE
Can I speak now?

COLTON
Sure. Go ahead.

CANDICE
The required standard for all service members in these times of multiple deployments and serving in the harshest environments, without the need for continuous medical treatments is reality if the United States is going to win on the battlefield. (Under her breath) Kind of like what we have in here today.

COLTON (Ignores her remark)
It is also imperative that transgenders be able to withstand the extreme stresses of the hardest crucibles of combat. This becomes something rather questionable concerning their constant need for hormone therapies, medical treatments, recovery times from surgeries, and the inclination for transgenders to commit suicide at much higher rates than the national average. The stakes are simply much too high to experiment with our country's defense or inadvertently cause additional harm to transgenders.

CANDICE
Go ahead and tell the world exactly how you feel, Colton.

COLTON
I'm not saying transgenders should be prevented from self-actualization. What I believe is transgenders should make their journey to self-fulfillment outside of the realm of the United States military having to foot the bill for their transitions at the risk of our national defenses.

CANDICE (Shakes her head)
That about wraps us up for this edition of Cracker Croakers.

COLTON (Notices her actions)
What?

CANDICE
We'll discuss this matter off the air.

COLTON
In that case smarty-pants, I suppose we better say adieu. She's Candice!

CANDICE
And, he's Colton!

CANDICE AND COLTON
And, we invite you to join us again tomorrow for another entertaining edition of Cracker Croakers (Featuring Candice and Colton).

CANDICE (Yanks her microphone off and tosses it on the table)
There may be two of us tomorrow. Or, there may only be one of us remaining after the dust from today settles. If you no longer welcome my input on this show, I'll quit!

COLTON (Smirks)
Sensitive females. Just do us both a major favor and come better prepared tomorrow so I don't have to carry the show myself.

(With dissention in the ranks, Candice storms off!)

FADE OUT