| General Script posted November 11, 2018 | Chapters: |
...47 48 -49- 50... 
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a one-scene script
A chapter in the book Scenes
Assume
by Bill Schott
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Master Gunnery Sergeant Panter was the 10th Marines Regimental Operations Chief. He enjoyed being the authority on all artillery-related topics. He would often come to the meteorological section to quiz marines on information he felt they should know about their military operational specialty. Most enlisted men of his rank were referred to as Top. Sergeant Schott was the meteorological operations chief. Top: Morning, Sgt Schott. SS: Morning, Top. Top: Now, Sergeant Schott, I need you to know that I am not to be referred to as Top. I find that term to be demeaning and too familiar. I am a master gunnery sergeant in the United States Marines and have worked hard to achieve this rank. SS: Sorry, Top. I mean Master Gunnery Sergeant. Top: I'm glad you corrected yourself. SS: I assumed you would want me to. Top: You assumed? SS: Well, yeah. You had just said that -- Top: Do you know, Sgt. Schott, what happens when you assume things? SS: Well, I, ah -- Top: You make an ASS of U and ME. SS: Okay, Top. Top: Okay what? SS: Master Gunnery Sergeant Top: Let me ask you some questions, sarge. SS: Now, Master Gunnery Sergeant Panter, I need you to know that I am a sergeant in the United States Marines and have worked hard to achieve this rank. Top: Are you mocking me, serGENT? SS: No, Top. Top: Okay, marine. You want to play this morning? SS: I do not. Top: How does the temperature of the air change aloft? SS: It generally decreases by six point five degrees Celsius every thousand meters. Top: How long should you wait before using a barometer reading from an instrument that has been airlifted? SS: Approximately twenty-four hours from the time the plane landed. Top: Why do we convert Celsius tempertures in a meteorological message to Kelvin? SS: It's a hold over from the first field computers which couldn't distinguish decimal points. Two hundred and seventy-three degrees were added and the decimal removed for calculation. Top: Why do you think I'm asking you all these questions, Sarge -- ENT? SS: I assume you want me to -- Top: You assume!? You know what happens when you assume things? You make an ASS of U and ME. SS: Sorry, Top. Top: I think you and me need some time to discuss your career, sarge. Be in the operations office right after formation tomorrow and bring your notebook. SS: Okay, Master Gunnery Sergeant. The senior marine departs and Sergeant Schott's wind plotter, Corporal Chan, steps up. CC: Wonder what you and he will be discussing tomorrow? SS: I assume it will be my attitude. CC: You know what happens when you assume things? You make an ass of you and Top Panter. 
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