Hey! Two for one, only a nickle.

by michaelcahill

In The Beginning... Contest Winner

Hiding in Plain Sight

NEWSFLASH:

Calvin Washington remains at large, one month after a police van transporting him to the Lancaster Superior Court for sentencing was run off the road and he was freed at gunpoint. The daring rescue in broad daylight has left county sheriffs without a clue to follow. Washington has vanished without a trace for all intents and purposes.

I don't know whether to laugh or jump out the window. It's a long drop, but maybe I can fly. It wouldn't surprise me. I mean, damn, this fool prosecuted my black ass for five months. He had me on the witness stand eye to eye … he doesn't have a clue it's me. Shave the dreds, a little 'stache … cheesy island accent. Ha! I'm his right-hand man.

District Attorney Riles taped unrhythmically on his desk. "I hate copycats. All the evidence points to the original and nothing points to the perp. There is no real M.O. because the M.O. is borrowed. The motive? Who knows? Hero-worship? Some sick game? I'll need the files on the Washington murder trial, Tony. I don't know what good they'll do me, but …"

"Sure thing, boss." I could tell you everything you want to know, including how I set this fool up to take the fall. But that would spoil the fun.

--to be continued—

Flounder

It could be all baked inside a flounder. Yeah, a flounder with a universe inside, cooking away while it swims in a kettle of fish. The kettle sits on granny's stove and she is the creator. But we're inside the fish, see, so what do we know?

But, then, maybe I went fishin' with uncle Buck. We ambled down the pathway, the one everyone ambles down. We baited our poles and I caught a flounder, see? I was the one who really set it all in motion. Sure, granny destroyed the universe, assuming the universe is actually in the flounder. But I was carnivorous and she merely sustained my cravings.

But then, was I born a murderous demon or was I taught the delicate nuances by a mentor … was I a beloved protégé? Hell, how do I know? I may be racked with guilt, and all I did was have fish on Friday in honour of some cultish religious practice. But then, the flounder could be the supreme being at rest on the seventh-day and I just took advantage of it and consumed it. Of course, by consuming the supreme being, that would make the supreme being something within me. And there ya go.

Well, rocket science is rocket science after all, and I've got a job to do. Does the fate of the universe depend on me? I'd have you ask the flounder, but I don't think what's left of it is going to offer much insight. On the other hand, there are probably worse conversations to engage in.

Hmm … a knock on the door.

"You ordered the fish?"

--to be continued--

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