| Writing Fiction posted October 24, 2018 |
  |
A woman scorned will get angry
Luckily I Ducked
by HarryT
The author has placed a warning on this post for violence.
The author has placed a warning on this post for sexual content.
Kathleen and I had been going steady since eighth grade. She is a willowy, ginger haired beauty, with pert lips, green eyes, and a spot of temper which would stir when she didn't get her way. Although we were both looking forward to college in the fall, the time would also be an occasion of sadness. I received a scholarship to play baseball at Southern Illinois University and she received a partial scholarship to study Art and Graph Design at the University of Wisconsin at Madison. This situation was not of our liking, but we pledged to keep our love alive by letter, phone calls and we promised to replenish our togetherness during school vacations.
I wanted to give Kathleen something that would remind her of me every day. As our parting date came near, ideas danced in my mind. A week before our parting an idea germinated. Lucky for me my dad was an ardent woodworker. Since I was ten years old he'd let me help with projects. His basement workshop was replete with a table saw, jig saw, chisels, lathe, drills, belt sander and various other tools needed to do a quality job. His proudest accomplishment was a beautiful walnut, dining room set of eight chairs and a twelve foot table worthy of Amish quality.
As our departure date approached I feverishly worked on Kathleen’s gift. I purchased a block of oak wood from the local lumber yard and began to fashion it on the lathe. I slowly turned the wood block until it was formed into a column looking much like a silo. I carefully consulted my go to manual, Sex for Dummies, and studied the diagram of a penis. I carefully whittled, chiseled and carved about the column creating the glans, the corona and even a slot for the urinary meatus at the tip of the oak penis. A new new idea then popped into my head. I decided to drill down through the penis and create a lamp, so Kathleen could use my gift when she studied far into the night. I pictured her softly caressing it every time she sat down to study.
My heart beat rapidly with happy excitement as I drove to the Ace hardware store and purchased a lamp kit, a shade, and oak stain. Then I hustled over to Michael’s craft store and purchased two round wooden balls for the scrotum and a platform which I planned to use to anchor the balls and the penis. When I returned to the basement workshop, I stained the penis, balls and platform with the oak stain. After they dried, I proceed to threaded the lamp rod through the penis and then pulled the wires and fitted the socket cap in place. I glued the balls to the penis column and then the balls and penis to the matching wooden stand. The piece stood straight and tall. I carefully screwed in a flame shaped bulb into the socket cap and added the harp and the lamp shade. The piece looked great, “I sure hope Kathleen appreciates my effort,” I said to myself. I added the shade because I thought it best that only Kathleen knew what lay beneath. This little deception would allow her to share my work with special friends and to protect it from discovery when the floor mother checked her room on Saturday mornings.
Our departure day arrived all too quickly. After helping Kathleen pack her Chevy Malibu, which was a graduation gift from her father, I returned to my ten year old Subaru Outback and lifted my gift from the back seat. I had enclosed it tightly in a white plastic bag. I snickered, “It does look like a condom.” Secreting the bag behind my back, I strolled toward her car.
Kathleen had opened her car door. I said, “Wait a minute, Miss Sunshine, aren’t you going to give me a goodbye kiss?”
“Of course, I am. I was just putting my purse in the car.”
I slid the bag from behind my back and said, “I have something I made for you so you will think of me every night.”
She smiled and kissed me. She tasted like her much loved peppermint gum.
“What is it?” she said coyly giving a flip of her ginger hair.
“Open it.”
She undid the tie and slid the lamp from the bag.
“It’s a lamp for your desk so that you will remember me every time you sit down to study.”
“It’s so straight and tall,” she said.
“Take off the shade.”
After lifting the shade a sassy smirk crossed her face. “My, my,” she giggled, “you think well of yourself, don’t you?”
“Please treat it with loving care. Okay?”
“I’ll be sure to stroke it every time I turn it on, just like always.”
She kissed me again and slid behind the wheel of her car. She turned, I saw tears spill from her eyes and streak her cheeks. My eyes began to water as she waved and backed out of her driveway.
“I love you now and forever,” I shouted. I promised her I would drive up to Madison when fall baseball practice was over. We wrote to each other and talked on Sunday evenings on the telephone.
However, fate crossed my path after I arrived on campus. After baseball practice one afternoon I found myself in an elevator with a petite, pony tailed blonde who said her name was Susie. She lived on the sixth floor which was a floor above mine. We struck up a conversation, I was enamored of her shy smile and her sparkling blue eyes. I decided to ride up to her floor where we sat on a hallway couch and talked for over an hour. She said she was majoring in elementary education. My major was Constitutional History. I hoped to study law after graduation. We made a date to meet for dinner and a movie on Friday evening. Let it suffice to say that things went very well between us and by the end of the month we were an item on campus. I loved her gentle way and her willingness to listen and share thoughts and ideas. She was never pushy or demanding. I knew I had to tell Kathleen, I no longer wish to have an exclusive relationship. I didn’t want to tell her in a letter or over the phone. I had read too many stories of ex-girlfriends or boyfriends getting Dear Jane or John letters. I knew I would hate it if it happened to me. In the dark nights guilt riddled my soul. However, I loved being with Susie, she filled my world. I hardly thought about Kathleen anymore. I knew I had to break the news to her in person.
I made the drive up to Madison on the weekend after fall baseball practice ended as I had promised. My stomach was in turmoil and my head ached the whole way from Carbondale to Madison. An oily glob resided in the center of my throat. I tried to swallow it down, but no such luck. As I walked up the steps to her dorm, it seemed as if several pterosaurs were beating their gargantuan wings in my stomach. I grudgingly made my way up the stairs to her second floor room and knocked on the door.
Kathleen opened the door, let out a tiny scream and lovingly kiss me. I felt a slash on my heart. She grabbed my arm, pulled me into the room, and pushed me down on her bed. I looked up at her smiling face. My mouth went dry, swallowed, tried to push words, but they would not come out.
She laughed as she stood over me with her hands on her hips. “First time I ever saw you at a loss for words.”
“I know.” I said, casting a look over at the penis lamp standing straight and tall on her desk.
She caught my glance as she ease herself down next to me, reached for my maleness and said, “I run my fingers up and down from the tip to the balls every time I turn it on.”
I crunched up my face, caught her hand as tears rushed into my eyes I said, “I have to tell you something.”
She didn’t say anything, her eyes flickered and then in a halting voice said, “What is it?”
I choked out the words, “I met someone else.”
Fire leapt from her green eyes. “What the hell do you mean?” she screamed. She slapped me across the face, jumped from the bed, ran to the penis lamp, tore off the shade, and jerked the plug out of the wall. I saw a flying penis, looking much like a rocket ship, streaking toward me. I ducked, it whizzed by my ear, and crashed against the dorm room door shattering the bulb.
She yelled, “Get out! You bastard! I never want to see you again.” She pulled me from the bed, opened the door, pushed me into the hall, kicked my penis lamp after me, and slammed the door. I picked up the broken thing, tucked it under my arm, took a deep breath, sighed and reasoned maybe I can repair it and give it to Susie.
The Flying penis contest entry
Kathleen and I had been going steady since eighth grade. She is a willowy, ginger haired beauty, with pert lips, green eyes, and a spot of temper which would stir when she didn't get her way. Although we were both looking forward to college in the fall, the time would also be an occasion of sadness. I received a scholarship to play baseball at Southern Illinois University and she received a partial scholarship to study Art and Graph Design at the University of Wisconsin at Madison. This situation was not of our liking, but we pledged to keep our love alive by letter, phone calls and we promised to replenish our togetherness during school vacations.
I wanted to give Kathleen something that would remind her of me every day. As our parting date came near, ideas danced in my mind. A week before our parting an idea germinated. Lucky for me my dad was an ardent woodworker. Since I was ten years old he'd let me help with projects. His basement workshop was replete with a table saw, jig saw, chisels, lathe, drills, belt sander and various other tools needed to do a quality job. His proudest accomplishment was a beautiful walnut, dining room set of eight chairs and a twelve foot table worthy of Amish quality.
As our departure date approached I feverishly worked on Kathleen’s gift. I purchased a block of oak wood from the local lumber yard and began to fashion it on the lathe. I slowly turned the wood block until it was formed into a column looking much like a silo. I carefully consulted my go to manual, Sex for Dummies, and studied the diagram of a penis. I carefully whittled, chiseled and carved about the column creating the glans, the corona and even a slot for the urinary meatus at the tip of the oak penis. A new new idea then popped into my head. I decided to drill down through the penis and create a lamp, so Kathleen could use my gift when she studied far into the night. I pictured her softly caressing it every time she sat down to study.
My heart beat rapidly with happy excitement as I drove to the Ace hardware store and purchased a lamp kit, a shade, and oak stain. Then I hustled over to Michael’s craft store and purchased two round wooden balls for the scrotum and a platform which I planned to use to anchor the balls and the penis. When I returned to the basement workshop, I stained the penis, balls and platform with the oak stain. After they dried, I proceed to threaded the lamp rod through the penis and then pulled the wires and fitted the socket cap in place. I glued the balls to the penis column and then the balls and penis to the matching wooden stand. The piece stood straight and tall. I carefully screwed in a flame shaped bulb into the socket cap and added the harp and the lamp shade. The piece looked great, “I sure hope Kathleen appreciates my effort,” I said to myself. I added the shade because I thought it best that only Kathleen knew what lay beneath. This little deception would allow her to share my work with special friends and to protect it from discovery when the floor mother checked her room on Saturday mornings.
Our departure day arrived all too quickly. After helping Kathleen pack her Chevy Malibu, which was a graduation gift from her father, I returned to my ten year old Subaru Outback and lifted my gift from the back seat. I had enclosed it tightly in a white plastic bag. I snickered, “It does look like a condom.” Secreting the bag behind my back, I strolled toward her car.
Kathleen had opened her car door. I said, “Wait a minute, Miss Sunshine, aren’t you going to give me a goodbye kiss?”
“Of course, I am. I was just putting my purse in the car.”
I slid the bag from behind my back and said, “I have something I made for you so you will think of me every night.”
She smiled and kissed me. She tasted like her much loved peppermint gum.
“What is it?” she said coyly giving a flip of her ginger hair.
“Open it.”
She undid the tie and slid the lamp from the bag.
“It’s a lamp for your desk so that you will remember me every time you sit down to study.”
“It’s so straight and tall,” she said.
“Take off the shade.”
After lifting the shade a sassy smirk crossed her face. “My, my,” she giggled, “you think well of yourself, don’t you?”
“Please treat it with loving care. Okay?”
“I’ll be sure to stroke it every time I turn it on, just like always.”
She kissed me again and slid behind the wheel of her car. She turned, I saw tears spill from her eyes and streak her cheeks. My eyes began to water as she waved and backed out of her driveway.
“I love you now and forever,” I shouted. I promised her I would drive up to Madison when fall baseball practice was over. We wrote to each other and talked on Sunday evenings on the telephone.
However, fate crossed my path after I arrived on campus. After baseball practice one afternoon I found myself in an elevator with a petite, pony tailed blonde who said her name was Susie. She lived on the sixth floor which was a floor above mine. We struck up a conversation, I was enamored of her shy smile and her sparkling blue eyes. I decided to ride up to her floor where we sat on a hallway couch and talked for over an hour. She said she was majoring in elementary education. My major was Constitutional History. I hoped to study law after graduation. We made a date to meet for dinner and a movie on Friday evening. Let it suffice to say that things went very well between us and by the end of the month we were an item on campus. I loved her gentle way and her willingness to listen and share thoughts and ideas. She was never pushy or demanding. I knew I had to tell Kathleen, I no longer wish to have an exclusive relationship. I didn’t want to tell her in a letter or over the phone. I had read too many stories of ex-girlfriends or boyfriends getting Dear Jane or John letters. I knew I would hate it if it happened to me. In the dark nights guilt riddled my soul. However, I loved being with Susie, she filled my world. I hardly thought about Kathleen anymore. I knew I had to break the news to her in person.
I made the drive up to Madison on the weekend after fall baseball practice ended as I had promised. My stomach was in turmoil and my head ached the whole way from Carbondale to Madison. An oily glob resided in the center of my throat. I tried to swallow it down, but no such luck. As I walked up the steps to her dorm, it seemed as if several pterosaurs were beating their gargantuan wings in my stomach. I grudgingly made my way up the stairs to her second floor room and knocked on the door.
Kathleen opened the door, let out a tiny scream and lovingly kiss me. I felt a slash on my heart. She grabbed my arm, pulled me into the room, and pushed me down on her bed. I looked up at her smiling face. My mouth went dry, swallowed, tried to push words, but they would not come out.
She laughed as she stood over me with her hands on her hips. “First time I ever saw you at a loss for words.”
“I know.” I said, casting a look over at the penis lamp standing straight and tall on her desk.
She caught my glance as she ease herself down next to me, reached for my maleness and said, “I run my fingers up and down from the tip to the balls every time I turn it on.”
I crunched up my face, caught her hand as tears rushed into my eyes I said, “I have to tell you something.”
She didn’t say anything, her eyes flickered and then in a halting voice said, “What is it?”
I choked out the words, “I met someone else.”
Fire leapt from her green eyes. “What the hell do you mean?” she screamed. She slapped me across the face, jumped from the bed, ran to the penis lamp, tore off the shade, and jerked the plug out of the wall. I saw a flying penis, looking much like a rocket ship, streaking toward me. I ducked, it whizzed by my ear, and crashed against the dorm room door shattering the bulb.
She yelled, “Get out! You bastard! I never want to see you again.” She pulled me from the bed, opened the door, pushed me into the hall, kicked my penis lamp after me, and slammed the door. I picked up the broken thing, tucked it under my arm, took a deep breath, sighed and reasoned maybe I can repair it and give it to Susie.
I wanted to give Kathleen something that would remind her of me every day. As our parting date came near, ideas danced in my mind. A week before our parting an idea germinated. Lucky for me my dad was an ardent woodworker. Since I was ten years old he'd let me help with projects. His basement workshop was replete with a table saw, jig saw, chisels, lathe, drills, belt sander and various other tools needed to do a quality job. His proudest accomplishment was a beautiful walnut, dining room set of eight chairs and a twelve foot table worthy of Amish quality.
As our departure date approached I feverishly worked on Kathleen’s gift. I purchased a block of oak wood from the local lumber yard and began to fashion it on the lathe. I slowly turned the wood block until it was formed into a column looking much like a silo. I carefully consulted my go to manual, Sex for Dummies, and studied the diagram of a penis. I carefully whittled, chiseled and carved about the column creating the glans, the corona and even a slot for the urinary meatus at the tip of the oak penis. A new new idea then popped into my head. I decided to drill down through the penis and create a lamp, so Kathleen could use my gift when she studied far into the night. I pictured her softly caressing it every time she sat down to study.
My heart beat rapidly with happy excitement as I drove to the Ace hardware store and purchased a lamp kit, a shade, and oak stain. Then I hustled over to Michael’s craft store and purchased two round wooden balls for the scrotum and a platform which I planned to use to anchor the balls and the penis. When I returned to the basement workshop, I stained the penis, balls and platform with the oak stain. After they dried, I proceed to threaded the lamp rod through the penis and then pulled the wires and fitted the socket cap in place. I glued the balls to the penis column and then the balls and penis to the matching wooden stand. The piece stood straight and tall. I carefully screwed in a flame shaped bulb into the socket cap and added the harp and the lamp shade. The piece looked great, “I sure hope Kathleen appreciates my effort,” I said to myself. I added the shade because I thought it best that only Kathleen knew what lay beneath. This little deception would allow her to share my work with special friends and to protect it from discovery when the floor mother checked her room on Saturday mornings.
Our departure day arrived all too quickly. After helping Kathleen pack her Chevy Malibu, which was a graduation gift from her father, I returned to my ten year old Subaru Outback and lifted my gift from the back seat. I had enclosed it tightly in a white plastic bag. I snickered, “It does look like a condom.” Secreting the bag behind my back, I strolled toward her car.
Kathleen had opened her car door. I said, “Wait a minute, Miss Sunshine, aren’t you going to give me a goodbye kiss?”
“Of course, I am. I was just putting my purse in the car.”
I slid the bag from behind my back and said, “I have something I made for you so you will think of me every night.”
She smiled and kissed me. She tasted like her much loved peppermint gum.
“What is it?” she said coyly giving a flip of her ginger hair.
“Open it.”
She undid the tie and slid the lamp from the bag.
“It’s a lamp for your desk so that you will remember me every time you sit down to study.”
“It’s so straight and tall,” she said.
“Take off the shade.”
After lifting the shade a sassy smirk crossed her face. “My, my,” she giggled, “you think well of yourself, don’t you?”
“Please treat it with loving care. Okay?”
“I’ll be sure to stroke it every time I turn it on, just like always.”
She kissed me again and slid behind the wheel of her car. She turned, I saw tears spill from her eyes and streak her cheeks. My eyes began to water as she waved and backed out of her driveway.
“I love you now and forever,” I shouted. I promised her I would drive up to Madison when fall baseball practice was over. We wrote to each other and talked on Sunday evenings on the telephone.
However, fate crossed my path after I arrived on campus. After baseball practice one afternoon I found myself in an elevator with a petite, pony tailed blonde who said her name was Susie. She lived on the sixth floor which was a floor above mine. We struck up a conversation, I was enamored of her shy smile and her sparkling blue eyes. I decided to ride up to her floor where we sat on a hallway couch and talked for over an hour. She said she was majoring in elementary education. My major was Constitutional History. I hoped to study law after graduation. We made a date to meet for dinner and a movie on Friday evening. Let it suffice to say that things went very well between us and by the end of the month we were an item on campus. I loved her gentle way and her willingness to listen and share thoughts and ideas. She was never pushy or demanding. I knew I had to tell Kathleen, I no longer wish to have an exclusive relationship. I didn’t want to tell her in a letter or over the phone. I had read too many stories of ex-girlfriends or boyfriends getting Dear Jane or John letters. I knew I would hate it if it happened to me. In the dark nights guilt riddled my soul. However, I loved being with Susie, she filled my world. I hardly thought about Kathleen anymore. I knew I had to break the news to her in person.
I made the drive up to Madison on the weekend after fall baseball practice ended as I had promised. My stomach was in turmoil and my head ached the whole way from Carbondale to Madison. An oily glob resided in the center of my throat. I tried to swallow it down, but no such luck. As I walked up the steps to her dorm, it seemed as if several pterosaurs were beating their gargantuan wings in my stomach. I grudgingly made my way up the stairs to her second floor room and knocked on the door.
Kathleen opened the door, let out a tiny scream and lovingly kiss me. I felt a slash on my heart. She grabbed my arm, pulled me into the room, and pushed me down on her bed. I looked up at her smiling face. My mouth went dry, swallowed, tried to push words, but they would not come out.
She laughed as she stood over me with her hands on her hips. “First time I ever saw you at a loss for words.”
“I know.” I said, casting a look over at the penis lamp standing straight and tall on her desk.
She caught my glance as she ease herself down next to me, reached for my maleness and said, “I run my fingers up and down from the tip to the balls every time I turn it on.”
I crunched up my face, caught her hand as tears rushed into my eyes I said, “I have to tell you something.”
She didn’t say anything, her eyes flickered and then in a halting voice said, “What is it?”
I choked out the words, “I met someone else.”
Fire leapt from her green eyes. “What the hell do you mean?” she screamed. She slapped me across the face, jumped from the bed, ran to the penis lamp, tore off the shade, and jerked the plug out of the wall. I saw a flying penis, looking much like a rocket ship, streaking toward me. I ducked, it whizzed by my ear, and crashed against the dorm room door shattering the bulb.
She yelled, “Get out! You bastard! I never want to see you again.” She pulled me from the bed, opened the door, pushed me into the hall, kicked my penis lamp after me, and slammed the door. I picked up the broken thing, tucked it under my arm, took a deep breath, sighed and reasoned maybe I can repair it and give it to Susie.
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