| General Non-Fiction posted October 13, 2018 |
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A memory about my life.
The Past is Behind Me
by poetwatch
My life is a memory of the past. It is here today, then it slips into tomorrow, and then tomorrow becomes today, but today was yesterday. I grow old just thinking about it as words pass into the past. My mind starts wandering. I can’t think of what to say. There is no one to whisper in my ear. There’s no one to caress my heart and give me life.
I roughly forgot all that I learned, for as a child those values receded like my hair. I do recall my younger years when angels watched my every step. They were there at the beginning. As I came out into the world all frighten, yelling at those men and women standing around, wanting to go back into that safe haven of the womb. Taking that first step out of the cradle, I was an innocent child ripe for the pickings. That’s when my angels stood by me, keeping evil away. I could almost feel their thoughts;
“Which way will this child choose? Right or left?”
After that initial step, the road to life opened like a maze filled with pitfalls every step of the way.
I was not born with a silver spoon in my hand. No, mine came from an olive tree or mesquite tree. I can’t really remember. What I recall was a desire to learn. I walked to school every day with my one set of clothes, one time I wore a pajama top because my shirt was wet from washing. My shoes were well worn by relatives, a little big for me, but they did the job. Hand-me-downs were a luxury because I got first pick being the oldest. After I outgrew them, my brothers would have them. I have five brothers. Yet, my sister had more clothes, for I have more female cousins. That was the beginning of my life when my angels walked with me. Then Junior High opened my eyes to the wonders of the opposite sex.
My mind is amazed as I see my teen age years. I’m strong and invincible. Nothing can harm me. I’ve seen the world, for I worked the land and earned my way. The youth in me handles the strife, but I’m not the innocent anymore and cannot go back to the beginning. The young child is behind me. The next step leads my angels away.
I tried to go back and embrace innocence, but I walked forward and took a bite of the apple as it was placed in my way. My eyes saw, my hands felt, and my body… well, those were the alluring ways of the world that swayed Adam and Eve. What are kings, wise men, and fools? What was I, but a pawn in life’s hands? I stride off into its arms and it filled me with wine, women, and song. Merrily I went that way, filling my coffers with the values of life. As I tasted its fruitage, it smiled.
I wandered in its loving arms, and then, Uncle Sam gave me a call. As a young man, I walked the jungles with many in a line, hearing the wind blow as a friend steps on a mine. Echoes of what was are no more. As bullets buzzed around me like bees ready to sting, I see another friend, and he is dying. His brains scrambled like yesterday’s eggs. A flag is on his mother’s arms, and everyone is crying.
I repaired Fighter planes so they could tear the enemy to pieces and they did the same to us. So much death that I could feel the screaming as bombs ripped the land. Yet, life played both sides, there were no fences.
My minds’ eye sees this as the stars twinkle in the heavens. There is smoke in the room. My friend is with me. As the smoke swirls into the skies, the heavens come down and speak to me;
“You’re flying high, my son. We will greet you when you come down.”
I light a joint and with my blade cut some lines. On the mirror, I see myself.
“Aahh, this feels good.”
I take another hit and life smiles at me. I am young, full of life, full of cheer, and full of shit. I go to work and drink my life away. My body flows with the crystal of my state. I see my reflection on the rearview mirror. There is gray where there was none. As I drive, my broken bones ache, there is someone with me. We pass the bottle of fermented Agave, looking for the worm. I crawled home most days.
For forty years, my mind was in a maze, lost in the past. I lost all those years. The meaningless bouts with battle-worn fears, of waking up in the middle of the night, fighting to catch my breath, and hearing friends speak to me in dreams. I was afraid to go back to sleep. It took time, love, and internal fortitude to heal life’s laughter. Pills only delayed, they did not do their duty. Now, “Echoes of what was are no more.”
I am older and gained some wisdom, but those years can never be restored. What does come back into one’s heart is the beauty. The angels smile with the promise of paradise. Then again, it may be my mind and heart’s desire. To live life feeling a tender touch, a gentle caress, a loving kiss, and a smile are worth more to me then all the riches in the world.
What can I say about my life? Well, I lived a full one with many pitfalls along the way, always trying to go forward. Yet, in the process, I became immortal. I have children and grandchildren who carry my DNA. I am who I am, but I do not know who I will be. I hope there is reincarnation; if not, may my soul and spirit find peace somewhere.
I wish you all the best in whatever you do, but don’t wait forever to decide because all that lost time you cannot have back.
Now for the ending as I see it:
I see faces passing before me. They are not of this life. There is noise all around. I reach for the mirror, but I can’t move. There’s a light shinning in my eyes. Voices are screaming, crying, trying to get close. I see myself. I see my wife. Yet, six strong young men carry me. Where are we going? And I hear a voice say,
“Welcome, my son. I am here.”
And then, I know. As smoke fills the sky, flowers fill my grave.
Love waited for me while I struggled in life, but I was young and didn’t listen. Now, that I see…
I am a memory.
My Life contest entry
My life is a memory of the past. It is here today, then it slips into tomorrow, and then tomorrow becomes today, but today was yesterday. I grow old just thinking about it as words pass into the past. My mind starts wandering. I can’t think of what to say. There is no one to whisper in my ear. There’s no one to caress my heart and give me life.
I roughly forgot all that I learned, for as a child those values receded like my hair. I do recall my younger years when angels watched my every step. They were there at the beginning. As I came out into the world all frighten, yelling at those men and women standing around, wanting to go back into that safe haven of the womb. Taking that first step out of the cradle, I was an innocent child ripe for the pickings. That’s when my angels stood by me, keeping evil away. I could almost feel their thoughts;
“Which way will this child choose? Right or left?”
After that initial step, the road to life opened like a maze filled with pitfalls every step of the way.
I was not born with a silver spoon in my hand. No, mine came from an olive tree or mesquite tree. I can’t really remember. What I recall was a desire to learn. I walked to school every day with my one set of clothes, one time I wore a pajama top because my shirt was wet from washing. My shoes were well worn by relatives, a little big for me, but they did the job. Hand-me-downs were a luxury because I got first pick being the oldest. After I outgrew them, my brothers would have them. I have five brothers. Yet, my sister had more clothes, for I have more female cousins. That was the beginning of my life when my angels walked with me. Then Junior High opened my eyes to the wonders of the opposite sex.
My mind is amazed as I see my teen age years. I’m strong and invincible. Nothing can harm me. I’ve seen the world, for I worked the land and earned my way. The youth in me handles the strife, but I’m not the innocent anymore and cannot go back to the beginning. The young child is behind me. The next step leads my angels away.
I tried to go back and embrace innocence, but I walked forward and took a bite of the apple as it was placed in my way. My eyes saw, my hands felt, and my body… well, those were the alluring ways of the world that swayed Adam and Eve. What are kings, wise men, and fools? What was I, but a pawn in life’s hands? I stride off into its arms and it filled me with wine, women, and song. Merrily I went that way, filling my coffers with the values of life. As I tasted its fruitage, it smiled.
I wandered in its loving arms, and then, Uncle Sam gave me a call. As a young man, I walked the jungles with many in a line, hearing the wind blow as a friend steps on a mine. Echoes of what was are no more. As bullets buzzed around me like bees ready to sting, I see another friend, and he is dying. His brains scrambled like yesterday’s eggs. A flag is on his mother’s arms, and everyone is crying.
I repaired Fighter planes so they could tear the enemy to pieces and they did the same to us. So much death that I could feel the screaming as bombs ripped the land. Yet, life played both sides, there were no fences.
My minds’ eye sees this as the stars twinkle in the heavens. There is smoke in the room. My friend is with me. As the smoke swirls into the skies, the heavens come down and speak to me;
“You’re flying high, my son. We will greet you when you come down.”
I light a joint and with my blade cut some lines. On the mirror, I see myself.
“Aahh, this feels good.”
I take another hit and life smiles at me. I am young, full of life, full of cheer, and full of shit. I go to work and drink my life away. My body flows with the crystal of my state. I see my reflection on the rearview mirror. There is gray where there was none. As I drive, my broken bones ache, there is someone with me. We pass the bottle of fermented Agave, looking for the worm. I crawled home most days.
For forty years, my mind was in a maze, lost in the past. I lost all those years. The meaningless bouts with battle-worn fears, of waking up in the middle of the night, fighting to catch my breath, and hearing friends speak to me in dreams. I was afraid to go back to sleep. It took time, love, and internal fortitude to heal life’s laughter. Pills only delayed, they did not do their duty. Now, “Echoes of what was are no more.”
I am older and gained some wisdom, but those years can never be restored. What does come back into one’s heart is the beauty. The angels smile with the promise of paradise. Then again, it may be my mind and heart’s desire. To live life feeling a tender touch, a gentle caress, a loving kiss, and a smile are worth more to me then all the riches in the world.
What can I say about my life? Well, I lived a full one with many pitfalls along the way, always trying to go forward. Yet, in the process, I became immortal. I have children and grandchildren who carry my DNA. I am who I am, but I do not know who I will be. I hope there is reincarnation; if not, may my soul and spirit find peace somewhere.
I wish you all the best in whatever you do, but don’t wait forever to decide because all that lost time you cannot have back.
Now for the ending as I see it:
I see faces passing before me. They are not of this life. There is noise all around. I reach for the mirror, but I can’t move. There’s a light shinning in my eyes. Voices are screaming, crying, trying to get close. I see myself. I see my wife. Yet, six strong young men carry me. Where are we going? And I hear a voice say,
“Welcome, my son. I am here.”
And then, I know. As smoke fills the sky, flowers fill my grave.
Love waited for me while I struggled in life, but I was young and didn’t listen. Now, that I see…
I am a memory.
I roughly forgot all that I learned, for as a child those values receded like my hair. I do recall my younger years when angels watched my every step. They were there at the beginning. As I came out into the world all frighten, yelling at those men and women standing around, wanting to go back into that safe haven of the womb. Taking that first step out of the cradle, I was an innocent child ripe for the pickings. That’s when my angels stood by me, keeping evil away. I could almost feel their thoughts;
“Which way will this child choose? Right or left?”
After that initial step, the road to life opened like a maze filled with pitfalls every step of the way.
I was not born with a silver spoon in my hand. No, mine came from an olive tree or mesquite tree. I can’t really remember. What I recall was a desire to learn. I walked to school every day with my one set of clothes, one time I wore a pajama top because my shirt was wet from washing. My shoes were well worn by relatives, a little big for me, but they did the job. Hand-me-downs were a luxury because I got first pick being the oldest. After I outgrew them, my brothers would have them. I have five brothers. Yet, my sister had more clothes, for I have more female cousins. That was the beginning of my life when my angels walked with me. Then Junior High opened my eyes to the wonders of the opposite sex.
My mind is amazed as I see my teen age years. I’m strong and invincible. Nothing can harm me. I’ve seen the world, for I worked the land and earned my way. The youth in me handles the strife, but I’m not the innocent anymore and cannot go back to the beginning. The young child is behind me. The next step leads my angels away.
I tried to go back and embrace innocence, but I walked forward and took a bite of the apple as it was placed in my way. My eyes saw, my hands felt, and my body… well, those were the alluring ways of the world that swayed Adam and Eve. What are kings, wise men, and fools? What was I, but a pawn in life’s hands? I stride off into its arms and it filled me with wine, women, and song. Merrily I went that way, filling my coffers with the values of life. As I tasted its fruitage, it smiled.
I wandered in its loving arms, and then, Uncle Sam gave me a call. As a young man, I walked the jungles with many in a line, hearing the wind blow as a friend steps on a mine. Echoes of what was are no more. As bullets buzzed around me like bees ready to sting, I see another friend, and he is dying. His brains scrambled like yesterday’s eggs. A flag is on his mother’s arms, and everyone is crying.
I repaired Fighter planes so they could tear the enemy to pieces and they did the same to us. So much death that I could feel the screaming as bombs ripped the land. Yet, life played both sides, there were no fences.
My minds’ eye sees this as the stars twinkle in the heavens. There is smoke in the room. My friend is with me. As the smoke swirls into the skies, the heavens come down and speak to me;
“You’re flying high, my son. We will greet you when you come down.”
I light a joint and with my blade cut some lines. On the mirror, I see myself.
“Aahh, this feels good.”
I take another hit and life smiles at me. I am young, full of life, full of cheer, and full of shit. I go to work and drink my life away. My body flows with the crystal of my state. I see my reflection on the rearview mirror. There is gray where there was none. As I drive, my broken bones ache, there is someone with me. We pass the bottle of fermented Agave, looking for the worm. I crawled home most days.
For forty years, my mind was in a maze, lost in the past. I lost all those years. The meaningless bouts with battle-worn fears, of waking up in the middle of the night, fighting to catch my breath, and hearing friends speak to me in dreams. I was afraid to go back to sleep. It took time, love, and internal fortitude to heal life’s laughter. Pills only delayed, they did not do their duty. Now, “Echoes of what was are no more.”
I am older and gained some wisdom, but those years can never be restored. What does come back into one’s heart is the beauty. The angels smile with the promise of paradise. Then again, it may be my mind and heart’s desire. To live life feeling a tender touch, a gentle caress, a loving kiss, and a smile are worth more to me then all the riches in the world.
What can I say about my life? Well, I lived a full one with many pitfalls along the way, always trying to go forward. Yet, in the process, I became immortal. I have children and grandchildren who carry my DNA. I am who I am, but I do not know who I will be. I hope there is reincarnation; if not, may my soul and spirit find peace somewhere.
I wish you all the best in whatever you do, but don’t wait forever to decide because all that lost time you cannot have back.
Now for the ending as I see it:
I see faces passing before me. They are not of this life. There is noise all around. I reach for the mirror, but I can’t move. There’s a light shinning in my eyes. Voices are screaming, crying, trying to get close. I see myself. I see my wife. Yet, six strong young men carry me. Where are we going? And I hear a voice say,
“Welcome, my son. I am here.”
And then, I know. As smoke fills the sky, flowers fill my grave.
Love waited for me while I struggled in life, but I was young and didn’t listen. Now, that I see…
I am a memory.
There are many expectations in life that we may never achieve, but that do not mean we should quit trying. This is a short version of my life, for I've lived a long one. We cannot give every detail as it happened. Too many words, too much pain, and lots of smiles.
Thank you MK Flood.
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. Thank you MK Flood.
Artwork by MKFlood at FanArtReview.com
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