Humor Poetry posted July 28, 2018

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Star Wars Character contest entry

Luke's Real Yoda Experience

by DragonSkulls

Star Wars Character Poetry Contest Winner 
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Luke: Blue
Yoda: Green

Excuse me, little woodlands troll,
it seems I've been misled.
I've come to find a warrior
but I find you instead.

I seek the Master Yoda,
who teaches of the force,
and judging by appearance,
that's not you, of course.

A mouthy prick, I find you are,
and hope you understand,
like a fish, I'll gut you, boy,
right there where you stand.

For Master Yoda, that is I,
don't mock me in disgrace,
or gladly, will I bitch slap you
with force across your face.

That's the dumbest thing I've heard.
How dare you make this claim.
Return now, mole, where you belong,
the hole from which you came.

If you continue this charade
I'll murder you myself.
The Jedi Master that I seek
I doubt's a wrinkled elf.

I warn you, Luke, oh this I will,
my last nerve, you're upon.
Like dairy cheese you'll slice with ease,
you dense Darth Vader spawn.

A Jedi fighter, you'll not be,
it's best you plan retreat.
Back home you go, I do suggest
to suckle momma's teat.

My anger rages not too oft,
I try hard to contain.
Most to succeed, you lack the thing,
what's needed here's a brain.

I find this rather hard to grasp,
it sounds a bit obtuse.
For instance, where'd you learned to speak,
a book by Doctor Seuss?

You could never man a craft,
a Starfighter Elite.
Tell me how you flew the thing,
with a booster seat?

I'm sure they had requirements,
a standard protocol.
Oh, let's say, a minimum,
no less than three feet tall.

At my ropes end, I see I'm at,
prepare yourself for death.
"I beg you, Master Yoda, please!"
will be your final breath.

Okay then, tiny knarled man,
my lightsaber is drawn.
Hey, wait a sec, you have one too?
Perhaps I had this wrong.
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Now you see, skywalker Luke,
I'm Yoda, you've no doubt.
Time is short to ponder that,
while slowly you bleed out.

If force is used, the outcome's changed,
your fading life I'd spare.
An imbicile I see you are,
so Yoda doesn't care.

If all that's left for good is you,
this tilts the ratio.
Over the edge, you pushed my hope.
The dark side I now go.

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Writing Prompt
Write a poem about a Star Wars Character. You may use any style of poetry. It can be fun or serious, but try to make it ring true in some way. Have fun!

Star Wars Character Poetry
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