Well, hello, there.  How ya doin’?  Better than me, I hope, because I’m really old.

I was goin’ to ask you an important question… but… I can’t… Let’s see.  Question, question… was it about…rhumatiz?  I could sure use a remedy.  You ever had rhumatiz?  You don’t want it.  No sir. It’s like you forgot to oil yer joints and they’re rubbin’ together, causing a ruckus and callin’ you all kinds of names.  And yer hands get all gnarly and look like claws.  I’m goin’ back to eatin’ with my fingers because they’re already in grab-mode.  But, you know, I don’t think rhumatiz was what I wanted to ask you about. Lessee…

Oh, but first, I’ve got to tell you what I bought the other day! It is the derndest thing you ever saw—one of those mechanized beds, ya know?  Where the head goes up and the foot goes up and it even gives you a massage.  Well, I was lying on it in the store, havin’ so much fun pushin’ buttons, that before I knew what was happenin’, I found myself in a V, which, I have to tell ya warn’t the best thing for rhumatiz but it sure stretched my back out good.  ‘Course the salesman was makin’ all these funny sounds, tryin’ not to laugh.  But finally, he did and I did, too, and we had a grand old time.  That dadgum bed has more paraphernalia on it than a 747.  It’s even got little lights underneath that shine out at night, like runway lights, so you can see your way to the bathroom!  Now, you know that’s cool.  Had to buy it.

 There was somethin’ important, though, I wanted to remember to… REMEMBER!  THAT’S IT!  That’s what I wanted to ask you about!   Memory.  I am so tired of not bein’ able to remember things!  It’s a terrible old age curse.  There ought to be some sort of memory trick that helps.  I been tryin’ to come up with one, but my mind wanders and I forget what I was tryin’ to do.  So… my question is, can you help?   Somethin’ maybe that helps you?  Suggestions would be much appreciated.
‘Course, if you make one, you’re kinda sayin’… “I’m old, too.”  Ha ha   Or maybe you’re just prematurely forgetful.   Or… thoughtful.  That’s it.  At any rate, I’d be mighty grateful.
Maudie