General Script posted May 24, 2018 Chapters:  ...29 30 -31- 32... 

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a one-scene script

A chapter in the book Scenes

Scene at a Martial Arts Studio

by Bill Schott

Pons and Ned meet outside a kung fu classroom.

Pons:  (Trying to hide his astonishment that Ned has shown up dressed in a full-size, green, insect costume). Hey, Ned. Or should I call you grasshopper?

Ned: The sissy told us ta git suits ta match our dis’plins, so I fetched a prayin’ mantis gitup.

Pons: You mean the sensei; and I’m pretty sure he meant a gi with the appropriate colors.

Ned: Well this here is wad a prayin’ mantis looks like, ‘cept a tad smaller. 

Pons: I’m surprised you found one in your size. 

Ned:  Yeah —nah, they didn’t have none in growed up sizes. I had a lady in the store sew dissun tagetter fer me.

Pons:  That’s a lot to do for someone who has not even been to a class yet.

Ned: Like they say, Pons — In fer a penny, in fer a poundin’.

This should be an interesting session.  I think after we learn some terms we will get to practice moves.

Ned: I ‘magine I’ll be saying grace and eatin’ flies. (Ned imitates prayer and then his hands at his mouth eating)

Pons:  (smiling) That’s intimidating, Ned. 

Ned: Wads yer style agin?  Grape ape?

Pons: Drunken monkey.

Ned:  No need for dat, Pons. I jus’ assta question.

Pons: Drunken monkey is the style, Ned.

Ned: Daddy had dat style too. Er wazzit Drunken skunk?

Pons:  I didn’t know Uncle Zed drank.

Ned:  He says he quit drinkin’ once they invented the funnel. 

Pons:  Right. Well, are you ready to work on a belt in Kung Fu?

Ned:  Yessiree!  Better’n a belt fer bein’ a dang foo’. Ma handelt  dat dis’plin.


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