General Script posted May 7, 2018

Chapters:

...31 32 -33- 34...

Excellent

a one-scene script

A chapter in the book Scenes

Scene at a Dentist's Office (Part 2)

by Bill Schott

Pons and Ned at a dental exam. Ned is in the chair as Pons sits nearby against the wall. Dr. Dennis (DD):  So, Pons, are you here for moral support? Pons: Yes. This is Ned's first visit, ever, and he was a bit nervous. Ned: Ain't had my teethes checked by a ackachull dentite, 'cept my mah. DD: Well this ought to be exciting!  The last time I worked on an unmined mouth was in the Great War. Pons:  The Great War?  Wasn't that World War I? DD:  Yes indeed, Pons. It was over a hundred years ago. Ned: Got any stamps from then, Doc?  My cousin Peck is one a them there phallusies. Pons: I think, and hope, you mean a philatelist, Ned. That's someone who collects stamps. Ned: He's got a peck avem. Hey!  I made a joke there! DD: Maybe a couple of them, Ned. Pons: Dr. Dennis, if you don't mind, how old are you? DD: Oh, I stopped counting birthdays at one hundred. Ned:  That's a far as I get too. Pons: That's amazing! Ned:  Thank ya. Pons:  No, I mean -- Holy Cow!  You might be a hundred and twenty years old! Ned:  They have stamps back then? Pons: It's amazing, frankly, that you're still alive. DD:  You're as young as you feel. Pons. Pons: Yes, of course, but, you don't look like you're 120. Ned: Yeah, Doc. You could likely pass fer a hundurd Pons:  You are like, immortal, Dr. Dennis. What's your secret. Ned:  Ya gotta listen up, Pons. He said he stopped countin'. DD:  Let me explain as I inspect Ned's teeth. Ned: I would depreciate that, Doc. Pons here is moppolizin' all my teethes time. The dentist gestures for Ned to open his mouth wide and begins looking into it at his teeth. DD:  This is quite unusual, Ned. Ned:  Uh aht, ock? (Uttering with the dentist's fingers in his mouth) DD:  You have a full set of teeth, not a cavity to be seen, and a bright and irredescent smile. Pons:  Dr. Dennis, I know I'm not qualified, but from here I can see brown teeth, the haze from his breath is frightening, and there are three teeth gone from this side. DD:  Perhaps I should get my spectacles. Pons: You wear glasses, Doctor? DD:  They're called bifocals. They were invented by my friend Ben. Ned:  Uffayos? (Ned asks, trying to say 'buffaloes') Ih en awated a ill? (asking if Ben was related to Bill...y'know Buffalo Bill) The dentist reaches in a drawer and pulls out some a wire-rimmed set of glasses from a bygone era, and snaps another, smaller set onto them, making two layers of lenses. Pons:  My god, Dr. Dennis!  Those have got to be two hundred years old! DD: I purchased them used. Pons: Please don't tell me your friend was Benjamin Franklin. DD: A patient, actually. Pons takes Ned's hand and slowly pulls him up out of the dentist's chair. Pons:  Wow!  Sorry, Doctor. Gee, look at the clock. It's time to go fetch water. C'mon, Ned. Ned: Oh, alright. Could a sworn I fetched water dis mornin'. DD:  See you boys. Remember the Maine and brush twice a year. After leaving the office, Pons, stops and nervously talks to Ned. Pons:  Ned, Dr. Dennis is either lying, crazy, or both.  Ned:  Do I need ta guess which a one? What'll I win if I gets it right? Pons:  Nothing, Ned. I'm saying that that Dr. Dennis can't be 120 years old. He can't have known Ben Franklin. He may not be sane. Ned: S'pose he ain't got no stamps nither.   Write A Review Phallusies = mistaking unrelated objects for a penis. All misspellings are intentional. Pays one point and 2 member cents. You need to login or register to write reviews. It's quick! We only ask four questions to new members.