Writing Non-Fiction posted March 23, 2018

This work has reached the exceptional level
An update of my novel

The Death of Matthew Granite

by mbroyles2

I wanted to take some time and update everyone who has followed my writing on where I am with my first novel.

I spent the last three months reading and critiquing The Last Laugh.

I put my findings in three categories.  The Good, The Okay, and The Bad.

The Good:

I’ve rewritten a strong opening chapter and the overall storyline is catchy and well-paced.

The supporting character of Camille was excellent.  In fact, she was more interesting than all the other characters combined.  I did a good job in defining her and giving her mannerisms that stood out

The Okay:

Marko and Barbara are decent supporting characters and with a little work can enhance the story and move it along quite well adding a refreshing change of pace from the dark and grim scenarios that are consistent throughout.

There are enough surprise twists to keep the reader interested.  The fact that John Hazelton is in league with the Chamber and that the Operator is in fact his brother make the story seem more plausible.

The Bad.

Matthew Granite is a weak lead character and extremely under developed.  As I read it, I wasn’t sure if he was a sweet guy or a tough guy.  That’s why the chapters where he actually kills someone is so jarring.  It just doesn’t seem to be in his nature.  And he never seems to be the one who has any answers and just stumbles around to find them.

The perceived romance between Granite and Barbara was drastically overwritten.  I mean here’s a guy who has been practically a recluse the last five years and I’m trying to make the reader believe that he falls in love at first sight?  Please.  That needs to go away or spend a few chapters developing.  I haven’t decided yet.

The Operator isn’t tough enough.  I don’t mean in the sense that he isn’t sadistic and brutal, but he leaves a bloody trail of mistakes that don’t make him out to be a formidable opponent.  This definitely needs some work.

Next Steps:

A complete overhaul and it starts with the lead character.  Matthew Granite is dead.  I plan on creating a new character, a new history, and a much clearer picture of who he is.  Jackson Raines.

I will write all scenes in which Jackson is involved in the first person, while the other scenes will be written in third person limited. 

Camille and Marko stay, though Marko will play a little different role.  Still a lovable teddy bear to most, but there will be a meaner side to him as well.

Jimmy “Brown” Daniels is out.  My desire for this type of character is to be obnoxious and smart.  Brown turned out to be too lovable at the end and especially when he was kidnapped by the Operator. 

I’m currently outlining this revamped novel and hope to start posting the rewrite soon.  It might seem odd to those of you who have read the entire novel but hopefully you’ll pick up on the changes and give me your honest feedback.

It’s not easy killing your darlings, but I’m committed to grow as a writer and put the best work I can out.

As always I appreciate all the comments I’ve received over the past year and so now we’ll continue to move forward.

Thanks again for all you have done to help me develop.



Thanks to avmurray for the use of your wonderful photo.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

Artwork by avmurray at FanArtReview.com

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