Daylight came with a vengeance, hot dusty and very dry. Betty had slept fitfully because it was so hot in the small frame house and her mind raced all night. She could hear her mother and father in the next room talking but could not make out what they were saying. Her brothers, Albert, Christian and Daniel spent most of the night outside although there was no relief from the heat out there. Gretta and Willow took their blankets, threw them on the parlor floor and slept there.

Betty drew some water from the cistern and started the fire in the wood stove to boil the water and start breakfast. She drew from the food that the neighbors left the day before and it was such a relief not to have to fix much. She was tired.

Alfred came in to see how it was going and to see if there was any coffee left over from the day before. Betty heated a cup for him and he went in to the parlor. Betty fixed her mother a cup of coffee and took it to her. Her mother lay there on her bed, eyes open but not moving. It took too much energy and she had just given birth.

"Momma, I brought you a cup of coffee, do you want it?"

"Sure honey, just set it by the bed for now. I'll get it in a minute."

Betty sat the coffee down and stood there for a minute trying to find words that just would not come to a 10 year old. Finally,

"Momma, where is Frederick?"

"What do you mean honey?"

"I mean Momma is he in heaven? If we bury him today will he be scared? Will he be mad at us for leaving him there? Why did God take him? God already has all the angels he needs, he don't need another one." For the first time Betty was feeling her anger.

"Come sit down Betty."
Betty moved to the bed and sat by her mother.

"Here's what I think. He's asleep in God's arms, plain and simple. He's not crying for us, he's not looking down at us wondering why we left him behind, he's asleep. You know when you go to sleep at night you don't remember anything? You don't know if it's midnight or if the wind is blowing or anything that's happening around you, right? Well I think that's how Frederick is right now, he doesn't know anything but someday he will and we will be together all of us again. I don't know where or when but we were promised that. And when you say God took him to be an angel, I don't think that's really true either honey. He has too many angels to even count. The Good Book talks about time and unforeseen circumstances. That means things happen that we can't blame God for, I don't think God "took" him. Man has hurt himself honey. We can't blame God for all the stuff happening to us. And God and the angels must be crying right now too because they love us and don't want to see us cry. It hurts them to see this so we have to take responsibility for a lot of what's happening right now. Trust me, it's going to be OK."
She looked at her daughter wondering if what she said had any impact on her thoughts, her fears.

" Now can you hand me that coffee? We need to get ready. We will say our goodbyes to our baby today. Just remember it's not forever."

"OK, Momma, I'll remember" hesitating at first but then as if adding a footnote, "but I'm still very sad."

"I am too sweetheart, I am so so sad."

Most of the town folks met at the little Methodist church, a small white building that needed paint but was helpless against the wind and dirt that pummeled it regularly.

People filed in quietly greeting each other with a nod or a handshake. The ladies wore hats with veils and the men wore their best Sunday suits. It was stifling in the little church with not so much as a wisp of fresh air. The ladies brought hand fans and the men soon took off their jackets and rolled up their sleeves against the heat. Nobody cared, it was too hot.

Brother Jones came to the front of the little church and stood at the pulpit. There in front of the congregation was a tiny wooden casket closed to the world. Betty drew in her breath. She felt claustrophobic for her baby brother, so small and tight was his world now. The sermon was short against the background of the congregation sitting in the huge wooden pews. The members were all restless and it showed.

"Friends we are here today to lay to rest one of our own, little Frederick Pearson. He never had a chance to know us nor we him but we loved him. He never drew breath here on earth but he will forever be remembered. Someday we will meet him and be together again in a beautiful place with golden streets and beautiful buildings. We will all walk together and meet the Lord in person. In the meantime we know he's in a better place, a place full of love. He's with Jesus now. Let us pray." And then he said a few words against the fierce whipping of the fans and the rustle of clothes. And Betty's anger was starting to tell on her. How could being buried in the ground be a better place for Frederick?

Didn't the preacher see he was right there in front of him in a tiny wooden box about to be put in the ground. Couldn't he see that? "Blind old fool" she wanted to yell at him. Betty did not lower her head, she did not pray with the rest of the congregation but held a steady gaze at the little casket.

Behind the church stood a small cemetery. There were grave markers of all those that had gone before, including many children and each marker told a story of sorts. Most were of wood and had been partially eaten by starving rodents or grasshoppers, some were made of stone engraved with names, dates and sometimes cause of death. All too often it seemed there had been a mysterious sickness, one nobody had a name for but a sickness everyone recognized usually because of a cough or wheezing or lack of breath. There was a hole dug already waiting to receive Frederick. They all went out and stood in the blazing sun while Alfred, Albert, Daniel and Lloyd brought the little casket out and placed it by the grave.

The minister said "Lord, receive this child unto you now." And with that they lowered little Frederick down in to the South Dakota dirt, the dry miserable dirt. Alfred and Etta took a handful of dirt and showered his casket then turned and walked away Alfred holding her up as they walked. Etta was tired and needed to rest. The rest of the Pearson children did the same and then walked away going back to where the old truck was parked in front of the church. But Betty just could not bear to leave him.

She stood there with fists clenched holding back tears that were on the verge of falling. This was SO unfair. This whole situation, this life they were all enduring was unimaginable. At this moment Betty hated all of it. She hated her house that was always full of dust, she hated having to cook all the time, she hated having to draw water from the cistern with rats or bugs in it, she hated watching her mother and father struggle, she hated being sick with epilepsy, but most of all she hated that her new baby brother was dead!

"Come on Betty, it's time to go." Lloyd had come up behind her and as much as he wanted to comfort her, he knew he couldn't.

"Where are we going to go Lloyd? Just tell me where is there a place for us."

"Home Betty, we need to go home now."

"I hate home Lloyd, I hate it." And the tears started.

"I hate my house too Betty. You know I lost my family not the way you lost your baby brother but they're gone too. All I have is Scout and I almost lost him. Your Dad saved him for me and I will be grateful forever but I have to go back to an empty house with a man I don't even know, my dad. I don't know what happened with us but I know I hate it too."

"You know Momma told me I could take care of Frederick. Mamma gave each of us a baby to care for and he was going to be mine. I had everything planned for us and now it's all gone."

"We did the best we could Betty. We couldn't do anymore. It was just not meant to be. And I am SO sorry."

"What is there left Lloyd? There's nothin', no way to live, nothin'"

"We're gonna be OK Betty I promise, I PROMISE. You wait and see but now time to go home, folks are waiting." Lloyd took Betty's hand and with that Betty turned her back on her baby brother and together they walked back to the waiting vehicles.