General Fiction posted January 22, 2018

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Have a Great Day!

by Bar62

 Have a Great Day!
Bruce Banner, alias, Bruce Jones, Robert Bruce Banner, the Green HULK, just to name a few of his aliases, had just built a raging fire in the large stone fireplace inside the small cabin, situated in the outback of Juno, Alaska. Bruce had just returned from a trip into town to buy some supplies and pick up his mail.
He was now enjoying the warmth that was melting the soreness of his muscles, the smell of burning oak, madrone, and redwood, and the sound of the crackling wood as it popped, cracked and sizzled, keeping the entire cabin warm and toasty.
Bruce opened a letter that looked official. It was addressed to Robert Bruce Banner, and it was from the desk of  General Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross. The General and Bruce go back a long way. It was under the General’s command when a young and highly intelligent Dr. Bruce Banner was supervising the trial of an experimental gamma bomb that he designed for the U.S. Defense Department at a nuclear research facility in New Mexico, Bruce selflessly rushed to the rescue of an ignorant teenager who had wandered onto the testing field as the countdown ticked inexorably toward zero. After shoving young Rick Jones to safety in a nearby ditch, Bruce was struck full-force by the bomb blast. He survived but was irradiated by the deadly gamma energy.
Dr. Bruce Banner is a genius in nuclear physics, possessing a mind so brilliant that it cannot be measured on any known intelligence test. When Banner is the Hulk, Banner's consciousness is buried within the Hulk's and can influence the Hulk's behavior only to a very limited extent. Bruce’s capacity for physical strength is potentially limitless due to the fact that when he changes into the Hulk his strength increases proportionally with his level of great emotional stress, anger in particular. However, it got to the point where it became quite difficult to control his emotions.
The letter read as follows: “Dear Bruce, I do hope that life is going well for you, and you are enjoying life in the slow lane. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I must let you know that there is trouble brewing down here in Southern California. You remember Captain Omen and his slimy son Filius? Well, they’re planning something that could potentially put the entire state of California under water. I would rather not have to ask you, but if not me then who? This is going to sound very strange but then life is way strange! I need to ask you to get your driver’s license.” When you get down here I can tell you why you need it. Take care Bruce, I’ll talk to you soon.
Why the hell do I need a driver’s license? Hell, I can cover more distance by running then by being in a car?
The Hulk possesses an incredible level of superhuman physical abilities. He uses his superhumanly strong leg muscles to leap great distances. The Hulk has been known to cover hundreds of miles in a single bound and once leaped almost into orbit around the Earth. The Hulk can also use his superhuman leg muscles to run at super speeds, although his legs have limitless strength he does not have limitless speed and once he reaches a certain speed his legs become too strong and destroy the ground giving him no friction to run on, therefore he jumps to travel.
In the morning Banner/Hulk went online and downloaded a booklet from the DMV, to help him study for the written test. He also emailed some of his long-time friends which included Ironman, Superman, Captain America, Wonder Woman, Spiderman, Batman, & Catwoman. He figured he could use all the support he could get. He planned his visit to the local DMV for three days from the present, providing everyone a chance to get to his cabin.

Bruce Banner was sitting in the front row at the Juno DMV, he had been waiting for an hour, when a computerized voice announced “Number S48, at window 13.
“That’s me,” Bruce said.
“Go get em Bruce”, Superman says encouragingly.
Bruce stands in front of window 13. A small Asian woman smiles warmly and says, may I have your answer sheet, please
Bruce hands her the answer sheet and waits nervously.
“Oh my, my. my, my, did you study the information booklet?”
“Yes I did, I read it probably three times”
“Well, I think maybe you were reading the wrong book.”
Bruce removes the booklet from his coat pocket and hands it to the DMV tester.
“Yes that’s the right booklet, but you didn’t pass, you only answered 20% correctly, and you got 80% wrong.”
Bruce was getting rather upset, and the more the tester looked at him the more stressed he became. He could not control the Hulk, and before anyone could say DMV, the big green HULK was standing at window 13, people started screaming and running to get out of the building. The small Asian woman behind window 13 had passed out. Bruce Banner’s friends were trying to quell the panic.
“Damn, I knew this would happen,” the Hulk growls, bringing his fist down on the counter smashing the counter, and the window.
“Bruce, I think it’s a good idea for you to move outside” Wonder Woman suggests.
“Yeah, I agree” the Hulk replies, and walks towards the exit. When he reaches the doors he opens them, pulling the doors right off their hinges.
Before leaving the building, he turns to face the woman who is working the front desk, and says,
“I guess I need to study the booklet some more, sorry
bout all this drama."
"Have a great day!"


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