General Non-Fiction posted January 13, 2018

This work has reached the exceptional level
A humorous look at denial

Pointing Fingers

by FlamingSpade

Those closest to me swear I'm a germaphobe. I say, neat freak.

Yes, I may wash my hands more than 20 times a day. I might turn the pages of a menu while holding a napkin. I do use the bottom of my shirt, a sleeve or an elbow to open a door, And, I certainly sterilize doorknobs, remotes, light switches, my steering wheel and other things once a week. But, doesn't everyone?

Anyway, Walgreens was running a sale on hand sanitizer. Like you, I keep a bottle in the car, on my desk, in my purse, on the nightstand and next to my chair in the living room. Maintaining a back up supply is but a prudent practice. Right?

At the entrance to the drugstore I stomped on the black mat which triggered automatic doors. Thus, the need for me to touch anything was happily averted.

A cart was handy but I wasn't in the mood to dig out my wipes and give it a rubdown when I didn't really need it.

The hand sanitizer was featured on an end cap with other sale items and wasn't so easy to locate. At the register, the items rang up at full price. When I told the cashier, she thumbed through the weekly sales flyer without success before asking me where I'd found them.

"Oh, over there," I turned and pointed.

To my utter horror, my index finger landed inside the moist mouth of a very large African American woman behind me in line! My digit was wedged between a pair of extremely full lips painted the color of wine.

The moment lasted a beat too long because I was thinking amputation. A very embarrassed me finally said as I pulled the finger out, "Oh my God! I'm so sorry, but I believe this belongs to me." I tried to laugh it off but the lady wasn't amused.

My finger was wet. I looked at it. I noticed traces of her lipstick had transferred from knuckle to nail. I certainly couldn't/wouldn't wipe it on my jeans. I needed a wet wipe right away!

Before I could spring into action, the situation overwhelmed me. Suddenly, I felt faint. I grabbed the counter with the palm of my contaminated hand to keep from falling. I didn't want to dirty two. No one would!

True Story Contest contest entry


Since the incident, I still say neat freak. However, if pushed, I will confess a hint of germaphobia may exist around the fringe.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

Artwork by avmurray at

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