Humor Fiction posted January 9, 2018

This work has reached the exceptional level
Chocolate love cures all

The Chocolate Covered Age Card

by Deniz22


"Hi, it's me...I'll be home in about an hour."

"Well where have you been? It's late, almost 9 o'clock. You were supposed to be home at least an hour ago."

"Sorry, I was about half-way home and realized I forgot something at work."

"Oh brother! It's not bad enough you have to work late at your age, you're also starting to forget things. Good thing you're retiring next week!"

"Well, truth is we both used to forget things when we were younger too. Can't always play the age card, though it does come in handy sometimes."

"You're making me laugh, as usual."

"What? I said something funny?"

"Not really, but when you mentioned the 'age card', I couldn't help thinking how often you've been playing it lately! Either you've got a whole deck of age cards or one that can stand a lot of usage."

"What do you mean? How have I been doing that? After all, I am old, a card-carrying member of the proud old codger's club."

"You know, hinting to everyone around you how much easier it would be on you if they did this that and the other thing."

"Give me a "for-instance"."

"Okay, let me think of a good one. Got it! Take the other day, when number one grandson was over. Here's you in your pitiful old man voice, 'I gotta sit down for a minute, Bill, get a bit of rest. Get ready to take those heavy trash barrels out to the end of our long driveway for the early morning pick-up.
On second thought, maybe I'll get a good night's rest first and put them out, one at a time, early tomorrow. Maybe I can just slide them on the icy pavement and hang on to them in case I fall. I'm not as steady as I used to be, Bill'."

"I said all that?"

"You most certainly did, in between little twitches and soft groans. With your ability, you could easily win the Old Codger's Academy Award, if they had one."

"Did it work?"

"You didn't fool anyone, if that's what you mean. Bill had already put them out because you pulled it on him the week before."

"He's a good boy, that Bill. Hey, I'll call you back after I go in my office and pick up the item I forgot. Bye."


"Hi, I'm on my way home to your lovin' arms, Baby!"

"I know you so well. You want me to ask you what this mysterious item is and why it's so important you had to turn around and brave the traffic to get it. So okay, it worked. What is it?"

"I'm crushed, first of all, that you would think I would play such a childish game and secondly, because you've forgotten what day it is! Care to play the age card on that one? You can borrow my indestructible one if you like."

"I know exactly what day it is and I'm suspecting you went back to get the heart-shaped box of chocolates I always get for Valentine's Day."

"Second only to your excellent taste in men, is your keen perception of the possibility of chocolates in your vicinity."

"Oh wonderful! You didn't forget!"

"Nope, no need for the age card this time. There are one or two things, though, you need to know about this particular box of chocolates."

"You DIDN'T! You opened them? And no doubt mashed them all to make sure they're the ones you like...then you left the ones you didn't want, as usual. How could you?"

"Wow! You really DO know me...but not as well as you think. You see, this box of chocolate goodies is not your ordinary celebratory Valentine...oh no! This carries the usual symbolism for the holiday but I am giving it a particular meaning all my own."

"Please...just play the age would be a so much simpler explanation. You forgot they were for me."

"Darling, Sweetie, Betty my love; hear me out. This is a two-layer box of chocolates. Yes, it's true, I have eaten a number of them, leaving an equal number for you. I have mashed their heads for easier identification of the ones that are yours."

"How kind of you...I'm sure they're your usual rejects?"

"This is true, but your penchant for chocolate, unlike mine, is unencumbered by your taste for the centers. At any rate, the first layer represents our lives together so far. Some events sweeter than others, but even the lesser ones covered in the chocolate of our enduring love."

"I love your blarney, it's so you! You can come home've got me...again."

"But wait! There's more. The second layer is untouched, though not unlusted. That layer represents the coming joys in our lives together as we enter this new phase of retirement. They are appropriately all wrapped in gold, as in the golden years. And you can first unwrap everyone and crush them to choose the very best for yourself, my love. I'd rather eat even the worst coconut disappointment with you, than caramel cream with anyone else, ever."

"Oh, Bill, I love you! You are a card for the ages!"

Dialogue Only Writing Contest contest entry

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