Fantasy Poetry posted December 21, 2017

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A Christmas poem.

Lesson from St. Nick

by Rasmine

The author has placed a warning on this post for sexual content.
I do not know what to do,
not only that, but in the loo,
My girlfriend cheated on me!
In the bathroom! Ugh! Smell of pee.

When she walked out
I gave an unholy shout
for behind her walked
the man I cannot stalk.

He lives in the bitter cold
Up North Pole, oh this is so old!
Cheating with Ole' St. Nick.
Oh, he is such a damn prick!

I don't care if he gives children presents,
He needs to stand up and learn his lesson.
He cannot cheat with taken women,
wish he would suck on a lemon.

I step in front of the jolly old man,
He looks at me as if I were Peter Pan.
"Watch your lady, give her more than I;
love her more," he said with a sigh.

"Otherwise they will wait for me,
to give them a loving key.
Take my words, you silly boy,
Now I go to give out toys."

I watched him go and then looked at my girl.
"Surely, you cannot blame me for taking a pearl.
For he is St. Nick and it is only once a year.
You, my darling, really have nothing to fear.

"What if he tickles me only once in all these months
Come on baby, if it were Mrs. Nick, I wouldn't be a dunce.
She is sweet and may give quite a roll,
I would understand, so don't be so droll."

"But in the toilet room," I said out of disgust,
"I really want to know you are honest, and I can trust.
I want to make you forever be my wife,
And love only me for the rest of your life.

"But with your cheating with the guy in red,
makes me wonder who else will end up in our bed."
Her eyes filled with tears, there was nothing more I can say.
"Thank him, for he opened my eyes on this Christmas Eve day.

"He needed love for energy, so he can last the whole night.
He didn't mean for you to lose love or any delight.
It was me who tried to seduce.
So now you know, I can be loose.

"He straightened me out and now I'm ready to wed.
We never did anything, except my love he fed.
He told me to love you and marry you soon,
And every year send him good thoughts as he flies across the moon."

I stood with my mouth all ajar.
Her words healed my heart scar.
She never slept with the King of the elves,
she loved me and wanted to be on my shelves.

I took her in my arms never to let go.
I looked out the window; it started to snow.
We walked outside hand in hand, to stare at the fading moon.
There was Santa in the glow, he waved; we would marry soon.

Christmas Poetry contest entry


TY, bd shutterspeed, for your Santa, :)

Enjoy! I wasn't going to join this contest, but my muse said otherwise.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

Artwork by bd shutterspeed at

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