Satire Fiction posted September 1, 2017

This work has reached the exceptional level
This won't hurt me more than you

Righting Writing

by Deniz22

I found this, the latest addition to your portfolio, amazing.

I know you just now published it for review, but your portfolio seems its best fit, and the quicker, the better.

Unless, of course, you are willing to heed honest feedback as you invite on your bio page.

With that assumption, I will proceed, encouraged by the fact you recently rendered me the same honest service when I published the heart-wrenching story of my life.

First, I commend you on the white space you allowed between paragraphs. So many other beginners jam everything together. Your white space makes the page attractive to the eye.

In fact, it is easily the singular attraction of the whole article, and certainly the most understandable. You may have raised the art of reading between the lines to a whole new level, where the reader's imagination is fully engaged in ascertaining exactly what you are talking about in your run-on-sentences. Said sentences are useful however, for dividing the restful white spaces.

Secondly, facts are important in any writing. Do yourself a favor and research before writing this kind of an article. Tonto did NOT defeat Custer at the Little Big Horn as you know, but many of your facts are just as ludicrous. Grape seeds do NOT cause appendicitis, no matter what your Granny told you.

Thirdly, watch your punctuation. You have so many commas in the first few paragraphs, it looks like you shot the page with birdshot.

In the last half, no doubt seeing your previous error, the page resembled Custer's last stand; there's not one of them left standing. Perhaps a vigorus shaking of your computer would scatter them as randomly on the bottom as they are found on the top?

Fourth, do not force humor. Telling the funeral story of your beloved Granny is simply no platform for debuting your stand-up comedy career. And using Jeff Foxworthy's signature line is simply unforgiveable in such a setting.

"If your Granny died and left you with a trailer full of dogs and a mailbox full of bills, you might be a Redneck."


Stop and think; "Is this right? Is this appropriate?"

This is also a good future exercise for you in reviewing writing far beyond your level of literary skills.

Like mine, for instance.


Revenge Reviewing writing prompt entry
Writing Prompt
Just pretend someone has trashed your gem of a literary endeavor. It happens. And now, its your turn to help them polish their prose, pump up their poem, or regulate their rant. You take no pleasure in any of these, but feel compelled to help them track down a superfluous phrase, an errant comma or an apostrophe anomaly. IT'S YOUR DUTY! Besides, you need the money. Remember, bloodless kills are the best. Happy hunting!


No true Fanstorian would ever engage in such revengeful writing of course, so we will have to use our imaginations. After all, we be writers; we can do this! :)
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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