Horror and Thriller Fiction posted July 30, 2017

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A talking dog in a compromising position

Holy Crap!

by Auto-Manic

The author has placed a warning on this post for language.

The elevator door opened, and there, taking a crap was a small pug.

"What hell are you looking at?" he said, pinching off the last small turds as he waddled forward.

The pug turned and smelled his steamy pile, "Wheww, gotta stay out of the dinner's garbage." The small dog tried to cover it up with no avail, kicking his back legs on the elevator carpet.

Holding the elevator door open, not believing my eyes, speechless and almost gagging I looked at the small dog who was now looking at me.

"Maybe you should take the stairs." he said.

"Holy Shit!"

"I wouldn't go that far." he said.

A woman was walking down the hall toward the elevator. I wondered if I should let the door shut and simply walk away: too late

"Jesus Christ!" She put her hand over her noise and mouth and just looked at me in horror and disbelief. "You're fucking dog just crapped in the elevator!"

No time to explain it wasn't my dog, and the fact he talked would probably seem like psychotic babbling.

"Sorry." Was all I could get out.

The pug jaunted out of the elevator and sat by my side. "You should probably take the stairs," he said.

"What?' said the woman.

"Yeah, sorry, I'll clean this up, you should probably take the stairs." I said.

"I'm calling the manager. This is disgusting...and so is your little fucking dog." She walked off in a huff.

"Little fucking dog? What a bitch." said the pug, sitting by my side looking up at me, panting, tongue hanging out of his mouth.

"You...you talk?

"Yeah, yeah, so what. Most animals can, we just prefer not to. Next thing ya know we're in a Goddamn circus."


"Yeah, and no shit, which may be pun."

What to do? What to do? Standing there in disbelief, holding the elevator door open and talking to a pugnacious dog.

He looked up, "I say we get the hell out'a here."

I looked down, "But, but..."

"For a human, you're not to bright. You wanna get caught with that?" He pointed a paw toward his odoriferous pile of feces. "Let the door shut and lets get the hell outta here."


He put a paw over his eyes and shook his head. "Who do you think they're gonna blame? Me? Hell, it might as well been you. Come on, let the elevator door shut before the house dick gets here."

Sounded like good advice. I let the door slide shut.

"How the hell did you punch the buttons for the elevator?"

"Well, unlike the rumors, small dogs CAN jump. I was on my way up to see FiFi, she's in heat, WOW!"

"My names Ralph," I said looking down at my trotting companion

"Peter the Pug," he said, "Nice to meet ya."

As the elevator doors opened to a throng of crushing bodies, the suited workers and short skirted office secretaries moved in. Large phones, small lap tops and papers had the attention of the oblivious. As the elevator door slid shut there were quizzical looks.

"Excuse me, I think you stepped in some dog doo doo."

And then, the elevator door opened writing prompt entry
Writing Prompt
We hardly know what we may see when an elevator door opens . I chose Horror and thriller for those of you who are that genre' fans. I'm actually not. Good luck.

Hey, it could happen.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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