Self Improvement Non-Fiction posted October 13, 2016

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I thought it was a simple operation

I Fought For My Life

by Abby Wilson-hand

I have been going to an O.B.G.Y.N. For many years having cervical Displasia. I went through Lazar surgery and every thing seemed to be fine. Every time someone in the family would be gravely ill I would be the one to take care of them, when I did my health problems seemed to be non-existent to me.

So many appointments I have made for myself, I would cancel. So sick of doctors, nurses, the whole entire alcohol smell it would turn my stomach. I was feeling depressed all the time. I lost my mother-in-law, my mothers boyfriend, my brother, my grandmother, and one amazing aunt, I helped them all get through there final days. It was so depressing. I loved them all with all my heart and prayed for them.

When it felt like everyone I loved was dying around me I felt helpless, But I stayed with them. I didn't know how to save myself from myself, I didn't care anymore. Life seemed nonexistent. I thought about suicide so many times but always thought of my kids and grand kids. Suicide was a cowards way out, I was no coward, so I chose life.

Every day was a struggle, I would cry all day or be angry all day and take it out on the ones I loved. I had finally had enough pain in my belly to go to the doctor. They had run some tested that indicated that I had fibroid tumors in my uterus. I guess it was then I realized I didn't want to die, I wanted to live.

My doctor had come out and said I had two options, one a hysterectomy, or a hypo ablation, which takes out the lining of my uterus. I chose to have the hysterectomy. My doctor told me he had to do it the old fashion way, open me with a seven inch incision. That kind of scared me, I was going to cancel the surgery because I was afraid I was going to die.

The night before surgery I cried for what seemed forever. My sister told me I was going to be just fine and she is a nurse. Morning came and I shook all over my anxiety was through the roof. I had called all my kids and told them how much I loved them. Even the night before I had wrote them all letters and put them in my writing box for them to find if I died. I seriously thought the worse , that's how my mind works.

I had gotten to the hospital and almost changed my mind, the nurses said they do theses every day. So I got confident enough to go back and get the Ivy in. They had given me what they called a cocktail to put my mind at ease. By this time the anastesiaologist had come in, I was cool as a cucumber from the cocktail.

The doctor arrived and I had told my step father to go home because I knew I would sleep all day after surgery, so he did. I lay there by myself before surgery the doctor was so nice talked me through the procedure, I was fine with that.

Down the hall they rolled me for it was time for surgery, got me in the operating room, switched me to the other bed and I remember the mask coming towards my face and I was out. I remember waking up in a room I saw my mom there, she had come to be with me. I was feeling quite clammy and disoriented, I had pushed the nurse button and nobody came in. I knew something was wrong and I told my mom "please help me mommy". My mother was very upset that nobody would come in as I kept pushing the nurse button.

My mom went out to the nurses station and told them something was wrong with me. They had pulled back the sheets and my bed was full of blood. There was so much blood by now running off my bed and on to the floor. My mom screamed in absolute terror. They told my mom that" I was dying", she automatically was on the phone to every one, scared and in disbelief for my life. I already knew that by the way I felt. I asked God to relive me of my sins and my eyes closed. They ran me down the hall back to the operating room, they had hit my bed into the wall on accident and I had woke up wanting to know what was going on.

The nurse says " the doctor forgot to cauterise three main arteries. I asked them "was I going to die"? They said "Not on their watch". We had gotten into the operating room, there was a surgeon standing over me, not my surgeon but a surgeon. He was standing over me and says to the nurses "where is her doctor"? They had said "he is in scrubbing". That awful surgeon says "if he's not in here in ten minuets I'm going home". When I heard that I freaked out and told him "if he didn't want to save my life to get out of the F ing out of this room.

The nurses said "why would you say that to a person that might not make it"? It was then I realized I was in the biggest fight for my life. All I could think about was my family and I passed out. When I awoke I heard a machine pumping air into my lungs, I was on life support. All my kids stood around my bed crying for me to wake up. I had tubes down my throat monitors all around me. My hands were in mittens and tied to the bed so I could not pull the tubes out. I thanked God I was still alive.

Now I know how precious life can be and I'm right where want to be. Sometimes life will teach you a lesson, the lesson may be hard to over come. But God was there for me that day and every day since. Without all my children begging me to wake up I don't know if I really would have. I would not wish fighting for your life to anyone. I'm just happy to be alive today to tell my story.

What was the Fight of your Life? contest entry

Never say you don't want to live life is amazing and it effects everyone in your life.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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