Letters and Diary Fiction posted July 6, 2016

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A Letter to the Editor

by michaelcahill

To whom it should concern,
Charles Carroll, Samuel Chase, Benjamin Franklin, Button Gwinnett, John Hancock, Patrick Henry, John Jay, Thomas Jefferson, Richard Henry Lee, James Madison, Charles Cotesworth Pinckney, Benjamin Rush, Edward Rutledge, George Washington.
Following the Fourth of July, I thought a list of American patriots might set the mood for my piece. Nothing like a list of slave owners to set the mood in the land of the free.
Patrick Henry must have seen the irony in “Give me liberty, or give me death”. Perhaps the heavy emphasis he put on “ME” has been lost over the course of time.
I’m sure Tommy Jeffs had a few chuckles authoring some of the Declaration’s lines. “All men are created equal”. Well, except the ones I own, he must have thought to himself.
Of course, you don’t get to be old and grey like Ben Franklin by taking risks. “Yes. Just hold on to the string and stand there. You’ll be fine. Tut, tut, tut … it’s not like you have a choice.” Yes, it’s better to be the slave owner indeed.
Well, I’m a kidder. I know, it was just the times. That’s how things were back then and it does nothing to detract from the accomplishments of these stellar Americans. Duh, I read the books. I got me some edumucation just like them mens in the suits. Hell, I’m white, I could put a suit on and fit right in as long as I don’t open my ignorant mouth.
Okay, okay, another little joke. I know all that racist bullshit is a thing of the past. Sure glad we solved that little problem.

Now, to the point.
Here's how I envision my son's son talking to his kid about THIS America one hundred years from now.:

You have to realize, son. Times were different back then. You can’t know without being there. It’s easy for you to say you’d never leave a soldier to starve on the streets. Hell, it sure sounds good doesn’t it? There just wasn’t any money to feed them. Sure we built walls to keep foreigners out. And yes, before you even say it, I know what the Statue of Liberty says. That’s just a symbol, son. It’s just an ideal. It’s not something we actually did. Hell, we couldn’t afford to let in those foreigners fleeing tyranny. What were we supposed to be, the last bastion of freedom in the world? No, you have to be realistic, son. Sure it’s sad to see a man or woman who sacrificed for their country die on the streets alone. It just couldn’t be helped. Yes, it’s sad to see bodies wash up dead on the beach. I get it, son. They were only looking for a chance at freedom. That was not our problem. Can’t you see that? You had to be there, son. That’s all I can tell you. You had to be there.
Grow up, son. Next you’ll want to return the land to the Native Americans.
Hey, I’ve got it. Let’s give women the right to vote again.


                                Eric Trump Junior, Jr.



Our Prose Potlatch form this week is pretty broad, "Free Form-Non Fiction". I've opted to narrow it to something one might find in the local newspaper. In this case, a snotty sarcastic letter to the editor.

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