Humor Fiction posted May 29, 2016

This work has reached the exceptional level
Dialogue Only Story-Prose Potlatch Challenge

Empty Ice Trays

by michaelcahill

The author has placed a warning on this post for violence.
The author has placed a warning on this post for language.
The author has placed a warning on this post for sexual content.

“It’s in the fridge, where do you think it is, Alaska?”
“Hello, there’s nothing but empty trays in here. What son-of-a-bitch would put an empty, damn ice tray back in the freezer with no ice in it? Huh? Oh, may I answer for you? An inconsiderate asshole who only cares about themselves and cares nothing about anyone else. Do they think to themselves that someone else might like some beautiful cubes of ice to chill their warm beverage? HEEEEELLLLLLL no, they just make sure THEY have a lovely, chilled, fuckin’ ass drink to pour down their fuckin’ sewer-pipe throat, and fuck anyone else right in their brown-ring-of-fun. I want to know who put this cock-sucking, fucking, ass licking, empty tray in this fucking, refridg-a-fuckin-rator!”
“Shit, Bill, take a fuckin’ pill. It was probably poor Mary. She’s studying for finals. Maybe, she’s in a hurry. Maybe, she’s worried about graduating from college. Maybe, graduating from college means more than your fucking drink, you drunkin’ bastard.”
“Oh, now I’m a drunk, is that it? Who wouldn’t drink married to a frigid bitch like you. You still got that out-of-order sign down there?”
“Ha! Talk about out of order, you have to pull that pathetic thing out just to pee. I thought only belly buttons came in innies and outties. Christ, when’s the last time you even saw the teeny thing anyway over that beach ball of a belly?”
“I could get it up if your tits weren’t bouncing off your knees ... hey ... put the fuckin’ knife down, now. This is getting out of hand. I just wanted to go to the fridge and get some ice, sit down, and watch my game. C’mon now, Jane, I’ll take that from you, and slice your throat, ya fuckin’ bitch. I’m not playin’.”
“Mom! What the hell? Here’s a bag of ice, there were only three cubes left. I knew this shit was going to happen. I can’t wait to get outta here. Why don’t you just kill each other? I’ve got finals. Shut up, and let me study.”
“Hey, thanks dear. You’re so thoughtful … unlike your mother. She’d cut my balls off just ‘cause I want ice in my drink. Fuck. I’ll be watchin’ the game. What’s for dinner, honey?”
“Not that limp cock, you can bet on that.”



Word Count 389

write a dialogue only piece [no speech tags] in which two people have an argument. the argument must be over something trivial, for example not leaving the toilet seat down. 200 words.

Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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