Humor Poetry posted April 28, 2016

This work has reached the exceptional level
Please note contest instructions before sending hate mail


by Mark Valentine

Some folks think that gay people live all their lives in sin.
Some folks look at Mexicans and say “Don’t let them in.”
Some folks hate folks based on faith, some hate based on race.
Some men think that women need to be kept in their place.
I believe such bigotry is terribly misguided.
To focus on our differences will keep us all divided.
So let us pledge right here and now to end these bigotries,
And unite in a common cause – to hate the Portuguese.
The Portuguese are smelly folks – of that you’re surely well aware.
If not for the Atlantic, they could walk right into Delaware.
They used to be a power once, but what have they done lately?
Ever since Spinoza, their influence has waned greatly.
Their space program? Their cinema? These things do not exist.
If they pulled out of NATO, I don’t think they would be missed.
They probably have an army, but no-one knows what for.
They couldn’t even pick a side back in the Second War.
Their total population is about that of New York.
Their claim to fame these days is that they make a lot of cork.
Their men are weak, their kids are dumb, their women all look mannish.
I went there once and found it hard to understand their Spanish.
So why spread hate amongst ourselves, when we could all hate them?
They’d be so fun to criticize, make fun of, and condemn.
Unless, of course, we think if wrong for anyone to hate.
In that case “Eu Amo Portugal” – I’ve always thought you’re great!


This is serious writing prompt entry
Writing Prompt
Write a poem of any type that treats a serious subject as humor.

Just kidding. I love the Portuguese. Actually, though they were technically neutral in WWII, they were an important escape route to the west for over 100,000 Jews and other refugees.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

Save to Bookcase Promote This Share or Bookmark
Print It View Reviews

You need to login or register to write reviews. It's quick! We only ask four questions to new members.

© Copyright 2018. Mark Valentine All rights reserved.
Mark Valentine has granted, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.