Self Improvement Flash Fiction posted April 28, 2015

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flash fiction-603 words

A Touch of Insecurity

by michaelcahill


There's no doubt she has someone. I could tell by that goodnight kiss. Our lips didn't connect properly. She pretended to be in a hurry. The old Cindy would've kissed me again. She wouldn't be satisfied with a half kiss. She always says, "What if it's our last kiss. I could be abducted by aliens. You probably will." Funny, yep, I thought so too. Why would I be such a top candidate to be abducted? Could it be she wishes it? She wishes it to clear the way for him, whoever he is. I'm not stupid. Meeting--my ass! What kind of a meeting takes place at the Bel Air Hilton Hotel? A little convenient having all those HOTEL ROOMS handy and at the ready. The Laramie account couldn't wait until tomorrow? Hell, tomorrow's Wednesday, hump day. Yeah, why wait; hump evening has a better ring to it.
Well, who the hell am I to question her? I mean, I'm just a lowly Lawyer. That must occur to her. I'm a lawyer, honey. You'll have to kill me to take over my house bought with my money. You think I'll let you sweep me aside and make way for your new love? Not a chance. You can live in a tent with him for all I care. I should park the car around the corner. Ohhhh! How tempting, my unfaithful Jezebel. He pulls up to drop you off and whoa and behold … boring old Felix isn't home. Yeah, take a chance, lovebirds. How exciting. You two could get in a dangerous quickie while I'm at the market buying your favorite ice cream, 'Cheating Chocolate' or is it 'Whore's Smores. But, I'm more clever than that, Cindy darling. I'll be waiting in the closet with a pair of channel-lock vise grips. Pliers won't do in this case.
I'm patient. I'll wait until you two are in the middle of your betrayal, and then I'll pop out of the closet. "Did you call a plumber? A Cindy Patrick called and left a message with my company. She said she was having trouble with her … pipes."

Then I'd open and close those vice grips. Yep, buddy, I'm going to do a little adjustment. You won't have to worry about your plumbing when I'm done.

Crap. She's already home. I guess she wore him out early.
"So, how did the meeting go?"
"It was okay. I think they're over reacting. Laramie has been with us for twenty years. I doubt he'll just up and take his business elsewhere. Thanks for waiting up. A nightcap?"
"Sure, honey. That sounds good." I'll have to watch closely. I bet you have poison to slip into my Martini. I wonder if it's a paralytic. That would be scary, watching my wife carve me up unable to move. I don't recall hearing the car drive away. He's out there! Yep, gotta be on my toes. The surprise is going to be on them. I'm onto them.
"What are you worrying about? I can always tell when you furrow your brow like that."
"Oh nothing at all, honey, just tired. So how's Linfield Rutherford doing? Doesn't his wife worry about him out with a beautiful woman?" Ha! Genius, talk about HIS relationship.
"Hell, he brought his wife with him. I don't think it went over too well with Laramie. Laramie's kind of conservative. Is that what I'd call him, his wife? This modern age has too many silly problems like that. Mate … life mate, that's how they prefer it."
"Hmm. So he's gay … interesting".
A threesome, I knew it!


Flash Fiction Writing Contest contest entry


It's interesting working in the mental health field. Many of the ailments such as bi-polar and schizophrenia are accompanied by paranoia. The thought process is surprisingly similar to worry. Indeed, "stop worrying about nothing" is one of the most common bits of advice I dispense. Worry invariably inflates an issue far out of proportion to reality. In general, it's a waste of time and a terrible strain on an individual both mental and physical. This is for fun, but it isn't far from reality. I listed this as "self-improvement". Hopefully it will prompt a little self-analysis. If you're thought process seems along these lines, then you are worrying TOO MUCH!

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