General Poetry posted March 5, 2015


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Free verse

Sad

by pearlecat

The author has placed a warning on this post for language.
People ask me why i don't mind belonging to sad

i guess it's because i was born to it
i don't know any different

like the mole on my cheek
i know it's there
but i don't give it much thought
it's always been there

it's how i was made

sad's always been there

since i was very young
the only love i've ever known

my pedophile of molested dreams

and sad doesn't say
i'm not allowed to laugh or love

just not too much or for too long
there isn't no reason to create hopes
you aren't free for

that you don't deserve

so i'm just grateful for everyday
life doesn't hurt too much

that's a good day

i see pretty things
and i appreciate getting to see them
but wanting them will unravel shadows
i don't want to be buried under

so i swim in a pond of mediocrity

keep treading and you won't drown
float and whips are raised like eye brows

don't try and be too pretty *crack*
don't try to be too smart *snap*
no one is going to listen *crack*
no one is going to care *snap*

don't want for too much
cause you don't deserve it *crack*

disappointments raised in a sunrise
putting me to rest
in sunsets of nothingness

just another day

another day

another day i swam
against their current
and didn't drown

i lay down my weary head
and sad curls up against me
spooning me
the only one
who's never deserted me

the only one

dreams have boundaries

but every night as i fall asleep
i pray they don't cross them

sad must not be woken

sometimes in the morning
i'm able to slip out of his embrace
and enjoy a few moments
and a cigarette

before he yawns and stretches
yelling for me to get back in bed

sad is a jealous lover
i've learned not to provoke

i have the scars of consequences
so i've learned not to cheat

happy is so beautiful though
i let him touch me once
but sad ran him off

saying she's too stupid

too ugly
too much of nothing special
she ain't good enough for your kind
she belongs with me

he is like the scratchy wool blanket
i crawl under at night
it's claws of thread keeping my flesh raw
but also warm

i once picked a rose

i closed my eyes
and ran its velvet petals across my cheek

feeling it
smelling it

thinking this must be what beauty feels like
i pulled it back and forth across my face
rolling it across the bridge of my nose
across the mole
over to my other cheek

eyes still closed

until its petals fell to the ground
and all that were left were thorns

pretty things have sharp teeth
fucking stupid girl what were you thinking
now get back over here where you're safe
sad says

then laughs

people ask me why i don't mind belonging to sad

i ask them
are you gonna protect me from him
you gonna look at me each day
and think how glad you are
that you took me in



i didn't think so




sad says come on now girl
I'm the only one you can count on
you get on home now where you belong
you know what you do and don't deserve
I taught you that

so i wave goodbye
to beauty and happiness

and i do what he tells me.



Poem of the Month contest entry

Recognized


I threw this up this morning and I feel so much better now.

Small i for her and capitalized I for 'sad' is intentional.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.


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