It must have been past noon hours when Francis woke up from a long and restful stupor. The mild sedative must have helped him to overcome the agonies of the last night. His mind was at peace and he was slowly awakening to a distant sound of chanting that was penetrating the otherwise all-pervading silence of that large room. With eyes open he remained motionless for quite some time, as if his lost soul was finding a way to connect with his mind and brain. As the numbness of his mind began to wear off; he began to hear the chanting clearly and that brought him out of that stage of total void. His right arm ached little bit from the Venipuncture and that made him aware of his body. He raised his head from the pillow and slowly brought himself in the upright position. In the dimness of that room he couldn't see anything clearly but thought there was someone in the far end of the room, near the sources of chanting. He wanted to call out that person but then he stopped indecisively. Instead, he threw the blanket off his feet, swung his feet around the hospital bed and stood up. A strong arm from his behind steadied him and said,

"Take it easy Father Francis; you have been through a lot."
Francis was surprised. It was the voice of deacon, Samuel Santiago from his church. He recognized the voice and instantly turned around to face him.

"When did you come?" He asked Samuel.
"This morning; as soon as we received the word from Sheriff's office that you were here and I came instantly."
Francis sensed a reproach in the deacon's voice and spoke in a subdued voice:

"You didn't have to; I was not kidnapped; I left on my own accord."
"That is the reason Archdiocese of Albuquerque sent me post haste and has asked me to stay with you until someone comes to speak with you." Informed the emissary and the guard from the Diocese.
" I need to sort out my issues all by myself and wish to discuss or receive no indoctrination from anyone from the Holy Church; at least not now; I will send the word when I am ready. I do appreciate the concern and also aware of the fact that I caused lots of troubles for all of you; my apologies for that." Francis spoke in a determined voice without giving any opportunity for the deacon to interject or interrupt his speech.

" As you wish; but is this a wise course of action Father? You know mother Church has been nurturing, protecting and guiding us in this sinful world of mortals to whom, we the ordained ones must take to The Almighty God. You have unblemished record of selfless services and this posting in the New Mexico is just a stopping place before you are placed into the services of His Holiness. The Pontiff himself has asked for your appointment in the Vatican. Why then this hasty withdrawal? Why must you throw all that you have achieved since you were a child? Shake off that influence of Lucifer and come with me. This is no place to recover from the abomination of one's body and mind; is it? In fact, you are living in this place; a den of devil worshipers...."
The messenger would have continued his haranguing talks but Francis stopped him in his tracks by sharply admonishing him:
" Stop at once denigrating this establishment and its people about whom you know next to nothing. I want to hear nothing more from you and now that you have vilified this place, I want you to leave the premise at once. I will inform the Church my final and irrevocable decision as soon as I am ready."

Seeing his resolute,and angry visage and feeling the passion of his words, the Deacon withdrew and silently walked out of the room. As he left, an elderly man walked in from the side door. The chanting had stopped and someone had opened the blinds covering the widows and room was flooded with the midday brightness of the New Mexican fall season. The old man came forward towards Francis with right hand held up in a 'Peace To You' gesture. Automatically, Francis followed the suite. They walked outside the long room with several empty beds like a field hospital of a military outfit.
When they came out, two men and a woman came forward and followed them to the patio where tables and chairs were neatly arranged for the afternoon tea and snacks. As they sat down, the woman came forward and served them some venison sandwiches and herbal tea.
Francis ate hungrily and took sip of that brew which he had drunk in the Amazonian villages in the past. It gave him the vitality and vigor he always had before the crisis. It seems he had at last reached to a conclusion about what to do with the life he had been living as a Roman Catholic Priest- a fully ordained and recognized shepherd of his flock; an individual brick of an ornamented and lofty temple of the Lord where his representative on the earth lived and operated a moribund and hierarchal empire.

Francis always knew deep down in his heart that there was another purpose, other than the one he was told again and again, since he was just a child of seven, what he was born for,to live for the service of the Lord, only via a well-organized and prescribed path laid out by the Vatican since the time the first Roman Emperor accepted Christ as his and of the citizens of the empire, the redeemer and a savior. An unchallengeable doctrine that perhaps got challenged first by the Henry the VIII to take control of his own empire along with the carnal needs and later, by the Martin Luther's challenge based on the protest against the excessive control of the free human spirit by the Roman Catholicism.

For Francis it was the lifelong battle of conscience and the conflict of indoctrinate upbringing under the Holy Church, his own loyalty to the divinity and the ever free demands of his soul. The wrestling between realities of this earthly existence, and taking the flock through the proverbial pearly gates, has been a tormenting task for him for a long time. His own sexuality was not acceptable to church as a part of being human. It was indeed demonized and condemn to the repertoire of mental illnesses caused by the dark spirit which were curable by certain prescribed behavior modifying techniques and convoluted religious rituals. It was one thing to call a practice or behavior unacceptable but to condemn the individual as a sinner was a travesty of Jesus own directive, " Hate the sin...". To Francis, calling what was god given attribute a sin, itself was not a right thing to do.
After the early episode of sexual encounter in his youth, he had never indulged into any homosexual activity. In his mind he equated it with a heterosexual act and as a sworn celibate he remained committed to a sexless life. Never the less his awareness of his sexuality and arousing of passion troubled him. Nothing worked and then he came to accept it as part of his own being made by the same divine hands that made Adam and Eve.

During one of his visits to a used bookstore in Sao Paulo, Francis came across few books related to the recent findings of the original papyrus containing the Gnostic material found in a cave at Rass Hamadi in Egypt. Out of curiosity and perhaps prompted by his own rebellion against the RC indoctrination and restrictions on reading heretical Gnostic stuff, he purchased them and read them during his free time. The impact of Gnostic version of Jesus life was so profound on Francis that he started to re evaluate various aspects of gospels of Mark, John and Luke. He found in all three the humanistic nature of Jesus lacking. On the other hand Thomas, in comparison to any other writers of Gospel, presented the Son of God in a much more intimate relationship with his followers like Mary Magdalene and himself. Both Thomas and Mary were the constant companions of Him and confidant also, as indicated by the findings at Rass Hamadi. The detailed description of that dance after the Last Supper and before the capture, narrated by Thomas, where Lord stood in the middle and the apostles danced around him answering to his call was more intimate with the humanity and meaningful than all that was dished out in Latin to the Priest, monks, laymen and others to translate to the gentile.

By the time he was posted to New Mexico, Francis had completely unraveled as a Roman Catholic, although he had retained the missionary zeal for serving the needy. Now, he was more concern about the earthly matters of the needy than their simple transgressions and resurrections. His sermons and even Sunday Mass became more spiritual than the traditional reminders of the original sins and the guilt that Lord died for the humanity. The Church attendance was increasing and no one complaint about his deviation from the norms. He himself though was drifting and his anchor was no longer reaching the ocean floor of Catholic faith of his ancestors.
Such was his mental state when the afternoon tea was over and the old man broke the silence with an icebreaker.
"Hope you feel better Father Francis?"
Then he followed it with another dialogue when Francis nodded head confirming his improvement.
" Are you willing to and able to speak business now? If so; let me introduce myself officially and tell you about our mission here."
Then he raised himself half way and extended his hand for a formal handshake. " I am Chief James Eaglefeather. I am the executive director of Tenskwatawa organization. We work with the Tribal Council at Shiprock, Navajo Nation located up north. Our mission is to help all the Native American Tribes to get them to achieve modern skills without losing the tribal culture and identity. We do help all folks in emergencies if they come to us or if we find them in the deserts wandering around without food and water. It clashes with the US government's rules and regulations related to assisting the folks without the documents but we just do what any human being should do to another living thing; that is give aid to live and prosper under this blue dome we live in. We are not affiliated with any religion nor do we indulge in conversions like some organizations do." He then stopped to take a breather.

Francis was gathering his thoughts so he could say something reasonably suitable to that conversation which was not going anywhere as far as he was concerned. All he could do in response was just offer thanks to the Chief for the aid he received and then remain silent. It was getting to be a real awkward situation. Francis' mind was occupied with searching for the answers to those inevitable questions which one faces when the only shelter he had was gone: what's next? Where do I go from here? By sending away the Church's, emissary he knew he had severed the only link he had with the resources needed to survive in this harsh and busy world. As an unskilled person without his collar, the crucifix and the rosary, he was a burden on the society. Now, with the impersonal tone the chief had conveyed the message that the hospitality extended to him was not only episodic in nature but also of a very short duration. Where could he go from the Tenskwatawa; the "Open Door" then?
The old man was silently scrutinizing the face of that God's fallen man and reading his thoughts. The awkward silence finally broke when chief began to probe his past.
" Can you share some of your life experiences with me? Perhaps I could give you a direction and some financial support if I learn about your flight from the past; all in the strictest confidence of course."
Dejected as he was; Francis couldn't think of where to begin. His life experiences suddenly had become nothing more than an episode in Miguel de Cervantes' novel, 'Don Quixote of La Mancha'. After the few minutes of silence, instead of reading his resume, Francis began narrating his life story. The old man was patiently listening and when he reached the end of his sojourn in Peru and Brazil, the chief interjected quickly:

"Stop right here; I think there is a possibility that we could work on a UN sponsored project for the Aboriginal tribes of Amazon region. You have the knowledge of their language, culture, beliefs and way of life; I think there is a match with the qualified person requirement. You also speak Portuguese as well as English. If you think you can return to that part of your life of course not as a RC priest but as a project director, then I will immediately do the needed paperwork."
Within a month Francis was on the plane to Rio de Janeiro. He was to report to the senior Administrator of the program by name Giovanni .

The red-eye flight he took from Albuquerque to Miami for the connection to Rio in the afternoon was almost empty. That gave him an opportunity to go over the events of past two months. He had not revisited his decision to abandon the Roman Catholic priesthood and with that he automatically lost his membership in the faith. In one sense, the Vatican was not unhappy that he left on his own accord and thereby eliminated the risk of having a deviant priest and a possible pedophile at that, on hand, although Francis had given no reasons to worry over that issue. His work was exemplary and he served his parish with compassion and zeal.
The work he had done with the Amazonian tribes fell more into speaking up for the marginalized and dehumanize humanity than saving their souls. He dealt with the Brazilian Corporate interests as fiercely as he would have with a man possessed with the devil and he was performing the exorcism ritual. He wrote to Vatican, to the Portuguese and Spanish Royalties about the encroachment on the tribal lands and the systematic uprooting of people who knew no other way of life and were without the immune system developed for the modern man's diseases.

Since then, lot had changed and UN was engaged in managing the tribal interest. What was he to do there now when he was no longer a representative of Pontiff? He had no clue nor had a plan for the future; he simply had floated on the river of life like a piece of driftwood and landed on the shore of Brazil; was it a divine plan? The thought never crossed his mind, instead it turned him inward towards his conscience. Why was he turned off by the Vatican brand of administering the Lord's work on this planet when he knew that so much good work in the uplifting of poor and helpless mankind was being done by the system? His own sexuality was not a problem anymore as he had suppressed it like all others who were heterosexuals in nature and had embraced celibacy. Then what was it that caused him to step out and undertake another path that was not even visible to him yet? This decision to accept the very job without giving even a cursory review to see if that's what he wanted to do for the rest of his life, was based on his immediate and personal needs. Was it not the, 'Chasing of the Wind'; hypocrisy as the Ecclesiastic writings stated?
There were no answers coming from any quarters and soon he fell asleep out of sheer mental weariness. When he woke up with the inflight announcement about seat belt tightening and seat adjustment for landing; he was in no better shape than the evening he sat with the Chief in New Mexico to feel any enthusiasm towards the job he was heading to. What the destiny has in store for me? The he question popped up in his mind many times during the journey. At last he was arriving into the Brazilian airspace and there it was on the Rio De Janeiro harbor, that colossal statue sculpted by Paul Landowski of the Christ the Redeemer on the Mount Cacovada. Seeing his Master in the resurrected form with hands outstretched to embrace all suffering and oppressed people of this planet, Francis felt calmness coming over and perhaps by habit, he raised his right hand and made a gesture of cross in the air while muttering the prayer that ended with the familiar words- " In the name of Father, Son and the Holy Ghost."