To say my Granddad was surprised to see me bawling like a baby is putting it mildly.

"Rory, hey," he says, easing the car onto the shoulder of the road. "What the hell happened?"

Angrily, I swipe the back of my hand across my eyes. I feel like a fool for crying over this. It's not like I lost anything. Shit, I never had anything with Kathleen. It was a good day if she remembered my name when she came for one of her sporadic visits.

"I just, I just wanted to talk to her. I lied to Charla, told her to take me to the library. When she dropped me off, I went straight to Llarado's.

"Please, God, tell me you didn't go inside that place," he says.

"No, I just knocked on the door and asked to speak with Kathleen."

He nods. "She must have been surprised to see you standing there," he says, a smile tipping the corners of his mouth.

"So surprised, she threw some rocks at me and called me a little bastard."

He winces. "Well, that's exactly why your daddy never let her have unsupervised visits with you. He didn't trust her."

For the first time it clicks why he was always there when she came over. I understand now why he never let her take me anywhere for ice cream. He was making sure I was safe.

"I told her that Dad didn't love her and that he always said she was crazy."

Granddad pats my shoulder. "Well, we all say things when we're angry, Rory. And I'm guessing you were pretty hurt and angry."

I nod and manage a smile. It feels so good to get it off my chest. It's still lurks in my mind, but it is easier now that I've shared the burden.

"Does your daddy know?"

"No."

"Good, let's not tell him. Not yet, anyway. I don't think he'd be too happy."

"What's new?" I mutter. "Nothing I do or say makes him happy anymore."

Granddad reaches over and musses my hair the way he used to when I was little. "You'll get through all this teen aged bullshit, Rory. I have faith in you."

He starts the car and after checking his rear and side mirrors, he eases back on the road. "Now, let's go check on your grandma. Hopefully she's settled down now."




There's some buzz going around school about a party. Everybody wants to go to Carson Alderson's party. His parents are going away for the weekend and he'll be there in that big over sized house all by his little lonesome. His house is really nice. He has a twelve person hot tub, a pier that goes out into the sound, and a couple of jet skis. That's what I've heard anyway. I've never actually been there myself. Still, it sounds amazing and just the thing to get me out of my rut.

"Hey, Taylor. Are you going to the party?" I ask, after walking over to where Taylor is hanging out in the hallway.

"Maybe. Haven't given it much thought. Why?"

"Have you ever been?"

"To any party or one of Carson's?"

"I guess both."

He nods and leans back against the wall. "Been to a few parties."

I want to ask more questions but something tells me Taylor would have a field day about my lack of experience.

"French, you mean to tell me you've never been to a party before?"

"Yeah, I've been to a couple. Just this - I mean, everybody's talking about it."

"I don't know, French. I don't really see you , how should I put this, um, flourishing at a party like this."

His words have a bite to them. They have a bite because there's a lot of truth to them. But I can't let him see that he struck a chord. Nope. I give him a smile and wink.

"You have no idea what I'm like outside of here."

Taylor laughs. "Okay, French. Easy does it. I'm gonna need hip waders if the B.S. gets any deeper."




When I round the corner after leaving Taylor, I see Cassie and Boyd Hotchkiss. I get that sick in the pit of my stomach feeling. Boyd seems to be always hanging around now. He's such a jerk. I can't believe Cassie doesn't see it.

He reaches over to tug on a lock of her hair, the same hair I have never dared to touch. His knuckles graze her boob, but instead of clocking him, she smiles and pulls back just barely. She smiles up at him. Smiles!

Quickly, I rip a piece of paper off the bulletin board and pretend to be reading it as I walk past.

"Hey, Rory," Cassie says, grabbing my arm as I go by them.

"Oh, hey, Cassie," I say smiling, then in a more sinister tone I acknowledge Boyd. "Oh, Boyd."

"French," he says, then shifts to put his meaty body between Cassie and I. "I swear I have never seen eyes that color before. Later, beautiful."

Right now I'm thinking I just may have to get me a pair of those hip waders that Taylor was talking about. I bet if I asked Boyd, five minutes from now, what color Cassie's eyes are, he couldn't tell me.