|Humor Script posted January 4, 2014||Chapters:||...7 8 -9- 10...|
FILLY adds more lies.
A chapter in the book Tea with Tattoo Tony
Lights, Camera, Action
FELICITY: (forces a laugh) Tony, I love how you prepare for a role. (to PATRICIA)
TONY: An actor. I like that. Tony the actor.
PATRICIA: I’m impressed. And my kind sister has taken you under her
(TONY wrests free, crosses to FILLY, put his arm around her waist.)
PATRICIA: Magnificent! You had me believing. The grammar, the lies, the affectionate
TONY: It starts wid me--Tony, not Anthony, enterin’ a rich lady’s house. I got a gun,
FILLY: Tony! Don’t give away the story. It’s bad luck.
PATRICIA and TONY: It is?
FILLY (to TONY) You could lose your role and even risk prison time.
TONY: I could? PATRICIA: He could?
FILLY: Yes, darling, you could. Now tell my sister the truth about us.
FILLY: The truth is, the director asked me to take a bit part in his movie since I
PATRICIA: You're delusional, Felicity. I always sus--
FILLY: Let me finish. Tony and I started talking in between takes, and I invited him
TONY: Get to the point, lady. (to PATRICIA) For dessert, I fucked her brains out.
FILLY: You did not! I still have them.
TONY: Huh? Oh, sorry. I meant to say (dramatically) we made passion-ate love.
(Taking Filly’s face in his hands, he squeezes her cheeks
FILLY: Please, Tony. Not in front of my sister.
PATRICIA: So you won’t die a virgin after all.
TONY: She’s no virgin.
PATRICIA: (shocked) Really?
FILLY: (shocked, she stares at TONY): How- how could you possibly know that?
ERMA: I’m finished in the bedrooms, Miss Worthington. I must say your sheets were
PATRICIA: (noticing her first) Who the hell is this, Felicity?
ERMA: The hired help, Ma’am. (to FILLY) Shall I answer the door?
TONY (to ERMA) I thought you was—
PATRICIA: (to FILLY) Ah, so you ARE wasting Father’s money.
FILLY: Not on foolish things like clothes more appropriate to a rebellious teenager.
(ERMA bustles to the door.)
PATRICIA: An appraiser! They charge thousands for their opinions. I’ll tell you the
FILLY: It’s my inheritance. I’m free to do as I please.
(ERMA brings in the appraiser.)
ERMA: Grant Howard is here. (to GRANT) The lady of the house is obvious.
GRANT: A pleasure to meet you. You’re quite different from what I pictured.
ERMA: (to FILLY) So much for his ability to appraise anything. Ask to see his credentials.
Someone suggested I use italics for stage directions to make it easier to read.Pays one point and 2 member cents.
Thanks to Google for my idea of Felicity's face.
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